As usual, the reptiles decided to overload the pond on Monday, no doubt in the hope of producing a melt down …
All the usual dimwits were on parade, with Major Mitchell leading the march, and there was no need of a Freudian to diagnose the disease … it turned out that Rowe had spotted the condition, but sighting all the symptoms and knowing the disease wasn't much of a comfort for the pond as it began the long haul …
Resisting group think? What a laugh, what a joke. The rag is full of climate denialist group think, with the dog botherer turning up today for the umpteenth time …
So tired, so tiring, so tiresome ...
And if it's not the in-house mob, then the lizards of Oz turn antique Pravda and publish the thoughts of the luddites in the denialist government …
Activists are the new colonialists? But that implies that old colonialists of the WASP kind were doing something wrong, you abject goose of a twit …you're defaming the extreme far right nationalist loons that are supposed to be your base, but perhaps they won't notice if they're busy shouting at clouds with the reptiles …
But now it's back to the Major, and how do we know the old boy is shouting at clouds? Take the wondrous line below, "The answer for much of the ABC-Fairfax-Guardian media …"
Pssst, will someone kindly tell the old dodderer that Fairfax is no more, that the bête noire, the Satan terrifies the reptiles, now goes under another name …the name of the combined company is …Nine. The Fairfax corporate brand name will cease to exist …
Go on, take a deep breath, you grey-haired loon, and scribble ABC-Nine-Guardian … there, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Even worse, when anyone appeals to the Bolter and Dame Slap as an authorities, we're suddenly in the realm of weird conspiracy theories as reported fact, and the ghost of Malware stalks the earth and the reptiles ...
Oh fucketty fuck, spare the pond the crocodile tears for the suffering poor. The lizards of Oz pitch to an affluent demographic, and the reptiles are desperate to keep in power the party that routinely rewards the well-off. So we have the Oreo scribbling today ...
But please explain Major, what is it that gave the Oreo the intellect and the insight to dub independents as clumsy and ignorant?
Was it a grounding in radical feminist politics and a subsequent lurch into the world of the loony right?
Oh it's too much, and the pond had to cut the Oreo off ...
And by the way just what is it with the reptiles, and the ABC? Why are the reptiles always obsessed with it, why do they always put a story about the ABC top of the digital page on a Monday?
It's pathetic … no, second thoughts, it's downright weird. You're not going to go there, are you Major?
Of course you are, it's part of the medical condition ...
Hmmm, that reminds the pond that Order of Lenin hunters who never found the medal should also never be let off the hook ...
Uh huh, well it's probably wise to resist lizard Oz media bullying too, because the notion that the Murdochians, whatever their personal views, ask tough questions and report truthfully, is one of the great canards...
How else to explain the poor old bromancer jumping the shark and nuking the fridge with the Donald on the weekend?
By golly if tomorrow is a slow news day, the pond might just drag it out of the dustbin, fight off the seagulls arguing over the stale chips and give it a run, because it's the kind of undiluted comedy that the pond treasures … but meanwhile, there's the Caterist offering his own unique brand of arrogance and stupidity …
Quacks? This from a man who wouldn't have the first clue about flood waters from a quarry? This from a twit who wandered down under armed with a degree in sociology and a monstrous inability to understand the movement of flood waters in a quarry?
That splash was such a sublime demonstration of monstrous ego that the pond felt it was irresistible, and besides it had the Lobbecke of the day, intent on showing a cartoonist could be just as much a fuckwit, and thereby guaranteeing the pair a truly unique* cult status …(*licensed from ABC marketing and documentary production divisions, as spoken by Barry Humphries) ...
Well the Caterist can head off to a plumber the next time he wants his arteries fixed, but fucked if the pond will go there …
What a gormless twit he is, but luckily Dr Rowe is on hand to analyse the condition that's afflicting the Caterist, and will soon reveal his diagnosis …
In the meantime, there's just a few more reams of Caterist blather to endure before we get there, making the cheapest of fuckwitted jokes about Médecins Sans Frontières … when we all know what the Caterist does …
Yes, he loves taxpayer money and he loves his gulags …and this is what passes for Caterist wit, and you can just imagine the half-wit drooling and cackling as he counts his taxpayer money and laughs at his sensa huma ...
And now there's only one more gobbet to go, but before we get to Doctor Rowe, this might help explain the reptile group think, the hysteria, and the nudge, the pointer to read the Oreo tall tales of how wicked independents are …
Ah yes, it's all hands on the Major's group think deck, and lance corporal Caterist, who earned a stripe for diligently acting as a bagman for government cash, is reporting for final gobbet duty of the day ...
And so to Doctor Rowe and his diagnosis of what set the reptiles off, as the contagion spread like wildfire through political and reptilian ranks … with more excellent diagnoses to hand here …
I need someone to explain to me why asylum seeker boats became a sort "bogan's last stand"?
ReplyDeleteI tend to think of all the Vietnamese kids who attended to their studies, took their chances and now pop up as medical specialists, engineers or other professionals. Obviously not up to the standard of pommy sociology graduates and scribblers for second rate propaganda rags but where are you going to find the people who actually can do something?
Even if you thought a hat-full of foreigners on boats was a huge problem you might want to note the even larger number who have flown in on planes and overstayed their visas. How about 500 million Bangladeshis getting wet feet? Do you think climate change might cause a bit of unauthorised migration?
The whole thing is just a distraction from the real issues - oh hang on, this is Murdoch's work.
You know, I'm beginning to take the 'LNP in panic' idea a bit more seriously. Just reading today's offerings (including the Truncated Oreo) indicates that the level of reptile hysteria is dialling up a little more each day.
ReplyDeleteBut fancy having the Lenin Medal man offering himself as the guiding guru for good journalism. Oh it is to laugh uproariously.
And then we had Goosebumps Cater indulging in all of the groupthink and groupbelieve and groupbrainfart that a reptile is required to do when he quotes Mark Latham as saying: "We abandoned our dialogue with suburban Australia ... a wedge has been driven through the middle of Labor's ranks."
And that is why, of course, just a very few years later, in 2007, the triumphant LNPs lost 22 House of Reps seats and 2 Senate seats, and the "Greatest Ever Australian Prime Minister" was casually chucked out of his own safe seat. Yep, Latham was just sooo right: the suburbanites would never again vote for Labor.
Well spotted oh Caterist, you sure know your Australian politics.
Ahh Oreo - those independents capitalising on the public's diminishing trust in government. The bastards! I demand that my trust is diminished unmolested by independents.
ReplyDeleteNot that any actual evidence needs to be adduced in support of the notion that Cater is a fuckwit, just for the yucks - Médecins Sans Frontières biggest single field of endeavour is probably plumbing, in the provision of clean water and sanitation, and combatting water-borne diseases caused by the lack thereof.
ReplyDeleteIf the Caterist's Plumbers Without Borders were doing their job, MSF would be out of one.
As to advocacy, so they should - the numbers are beyond horrific. They spent 11 months on Nauru trying to help 208 detainees (in addition to Nauruans). In that time, thanks to the hopelessness of the detainees' situation, 63 of them attempted suicide, 124 expressed suicidal ideation and 34 committed acts of self-harm. A group, any group, with a 33% per annum attempted suicide rate needs all the advocacy it can get.
Cater's fuckwittery is not only cheap, it is beyond contemptible.