Sure, the reptiles feel under siege, sure they feel swamped like Alice …
Greenies everywhere, and precious coal under dire attack from the the world government (they got there using climate science, don't ya know) and fiendish local lefties conspiring with the commies. The bloody cards are flying everywhere and even Alice can't handle the pace ...
Oh it's enough to make weaker reptiles crawl under the bed and adopt a foetal position.
But not the lizards of Oz. They have a better idea. Attack the voters for their faux morality!
Attack the wretches, annihilate the bludgers and their faux, flawed view of the world, and while the lesser Kelly might have been sent out to report on coal's desperate struggle, for that difficult task, Kelly major is required …
Oh dear sweet long absent lord, not snooty "Ned" jabbering and yabbering on endlessly in his prolix way, designed to make prattling Polonius look succinct … not another outburst sure to send the readers of the lizard Oz off into a slumber, and stray readers of the pond to turn to pick-up sticks for excitement …
Still here? Well now the pond knows what you didn't get for Xmas, but hey, at least nattering "Ned" scored the Lobbecke of the day, guaranteeing cult status, or at least a sample of heroic Ming the Merciless stupidity …
Please no, not that nerdish pose, "Ned" specifically ordered up this Lobbecke superhero pose … because irony ...
Eek, Nazis! Stormtroopers. Heil "Ned" at his paranoid finest ...
Indeed, indeed, there's nothing like "morality" or "moral behaviour" to arouse complete contempt in reptile la la land. How they loathe all that Xian jibber jabber about doing the right thing … pure undiluted humbug, raus schweinhund and so forth and etc ...
Say what? The conservative media cabal drum-beating for months? "Ned" does realise that with his mindless nattering he's declaring war on Murdoch la la land? Is he aware he exists in an uneasy 'no person's land', where some regard him as a senile blatherer in his dotage, while the rest of the pack of schweinhundes regularly turn on him?
Sic, him Bolter, sic him hard, even if was back on 3rd June 2017 ...
Could do it again?! Surely no one's still calling for the onion muncher's return? Surely the pond's rhetorical question is out of touch with reptile reality?
More of that anon, but the pond can sense that in the middle of this war, there needs to be a little light comedy …
In short, a joke ...
In short? Nattering "Ned" is never ever "in short." There are miles to go, and delusions to keep ...
Indeed, indeed, and many people forget the onion muncher's deep devotion to coal, derived from long personal contact with the wonder drug …
An heroic figure, a manly man, in long, exemplifying everything that's right and good about the Liberal party and the lizards of Oz … and 'in long' we must continue ...
Oh no, the ghost of Malware still lurks in the room, part of a long and proud tradition of hauntings which no exorcist can fix …
And at last, in short, we come to a real in short moment, where even an expert hand wringer must stop the wringing, and the sackcloth and ashes can be put aside, and the wailing and worrying temporarily halted … even as those flapping cards that haunted Alice are now haunting nattering "Ned" ...
Anyone up for a serious debate while having an anxiety attack about the fate of the onion muncher?
Only in the marvellous world of nattering "Ned", and as it turned out, in the world of the dog botherer too … because still the cry rings out, bring back the onion muncher ...
Yes, once again, the onion muncher is on centre stage, and the dog botherer is in his corner, yelling out the prompt lines ...
Indeed, where are the proud coal warriors of the past?
Eek, that ghost in the corner almost reduced the pond to a quivering lump of jelly … where's the onion muncher when he's most needed?
Yes, it's all to do with a lack of love of coal …what we need is a manly man in love with the wonder drug, the cure-all for the planet …
Climate science? Mere hogwash, trust the dog botherer, he's internationally famous for his field work and his peer-reviewed papers ...
Say what? Fear the beloved coal? How could that be? Why the best and brightest minds just love the stuff, as it glints in a way more seductive than the coarse diamonds made from the same stuff ...
Let us not have any saucy doubts or fears, let us not have any faux morality.
Sure, the weather's been acting kinda funny lately, but an onion-muncher inspired, coal lover victory, dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi, cheered on by the dog botherer is a dead cert …
Why, with a goodly amount of luck, there might even be a chance to reverse gay marriage before the country is utterly ruined ...
Yes, there's nothing like a fog of ambiguity to get the pond going …
You know, bury your head in the sand, and blather on about it being all too hard, and why should Australia do anything, because in the end, who cares, it's all a hoax, and there's a deep argument to be had about which day was the hottest in Adelaide history …trust in the dog botherer's science, and trust in the onion muncher, because he's a proven winner, a noble schweinhund attack dog standing by to lead the assault, a veritable stormtrooper for coal ...
And what do you know, in all the fog of that reptile blather, the pond completely forgot about another matter, though it exercised Rowe's keen draughtpersonship, and it might well be exercising the minds of other excitable schweinhundes, with more Rowe cartoons here ...
"Just like the statewide blackout in SA in 2016, it was a predictable outcome from policies that have made the national electricity market more fragile and Victoria and SA more reliant on power from other states."
ReplyDeleteTo paraphrase Talleyrand, le dérangér des chiens n'a rien appris, ni rien oublié. But just like the Bourbons (Talleyrand's original target), who declined many opportunities to get ahead of the problems that would lead to their Revolutionary crash, every refusal by the loons to adapt to reality ensures only that their eventual fall will be so much harder. I wonder how it feels to know one day you will simply be a hissing and a byword...
That's no mean trick, FD, to forget nothing but also to learn nothing. Mostly they at least have to forget all the inane (not to mention insane) crap they've espoused over time.
DeleteBut what they don't usually have to put up with, especially amongst the favoured 'inner reptiles', is being laid low by their own - such as Noddy Ned was by Andrew the Blot.
But then I guess the Doggy Bov is way too inconsequential to merit the attention of his supposed clan and clique. Can you imagine Dame Slap, or even Peta the Credulous, noticing Kenny's existence ? After all, nobody else much has noticed it.
I suppose you're right GB, but while Kenny may lack the Magisterium of Nattering Ned or Polonius, or the "serious" RW cred of Dame Slap or the Oreo, his smarming irritates me more, in a quotidian kind of way, than all of pompous dudgeon of the rest of them. The others are high priests droning on from their pulpits, Kenny is the dipshit who throws the dregs of a slushie at you as he drives by in his burnt orange ute.
DeleteHe reminds me of Mayonnaise Quirke in Terry Pratchett's novels - "not actually a bad man; he didn’t have the imagination; but he dealt more in the generalised low-grade unpleasantness which slightly tarnishes the soul of all who come into contact with it"
Ah, well despite an early reading of 'Only You Can Save Mankind' (including the sentimental reappearance of the only arcade game I ever played much from way back in 1978 - 'Space Invaders'), I never got into Pratchett worlds, so I'm unfamiliar with Mayonnaise Quirke [ so much out there, so little time].
DeleteI kinda think of Fido (tm Befuddlled) as a lesser Gollum, perpetually seeking his "ring" by any means he can manage, but never achieving anything at all, and basically remaining, despite his three Fox shows, invisible to the larger world.
If....
ReplyDelete