In which a recovering pond - recovering from the war on Xmas - turns to reliable good old Polonius ...

Well that got the pond off to a good start, and as the above is just a screen cap, here for the working gif ...

Oh a kitten, so cute ...

And then, thanks always to the reptiles of Oz, there are dozens of other distractions ...how about gorgeous George of the deep North?

And the problem is George? Psychopathic dimwits such as yourself?

Go on, let loose your inner psycho, let it run wild and free in a murderous psycho rampage ... you know it's right, you know it's clever and above all, you know that narcissist attention-seekers can never get enough attention ...

And then there was the complimentary Shanahan, showing she had deeply imbibed of the lesson of the Samaritan featured yesterday on the pond ...

Because, good Samaritan, just because ... any Xian understands you must pick and stick and persecute ...

And then there was one of the world's leading climate science journalists, good old Lloydie ...

Actually, some could do worse ... they could read Lloydie ...

And then there was good old leaking Bill, still spluttering and frothing and foaming and carrying on ...

You can imagine how the pond fell into a deep faint.

The opposite of illiberal just happens to be ... liberal.

Eek, next thing someone will be dragging in the progressive cat, or at least the cute kitten, and then talk will turn to antonyms for authoritarian, and the next thing you know, there'll be words rolled out like lax, lenient, tolerant, forebearing, indulgent, gentle Jesus meek and mild, and so on ...

And the next thing you know we'll be witnessing the imminent decline and fall of all that's tough and firm and hard in western civilisation, or at least reptile la la land ... 

Oh just harden up Mr Leak, harden the fuck up ... take a leaf, or a top opinion piece, or a harden up attitude out of the Terrorist digital edition ...

See, George, it's not just you that can be a seasonally stupid attention-seeking narcissist ... (sorry, the copyright on 'grinch' continues to be held by the Dr Seuss combine).

And yet, being deeply conservative, despite all these rich temptations, these splendid distractions, the pond remains loyal.

Perhaps foolishly loyal, but still ... someone has to pay attention to the thoughts of prattling Polonius, that ancient mariner who these days can't manage to stop any of three on their way to a wedding ...

Now look, right from the get go, the pond has no argument with Polonius, and for a good reason ...

But the pond has great faith in the capacity of Polonius to produce an interesting distraction, a diversion along the way ...

So let's just slog through the first part in a quick forced march ...

The pond began to get a sense from Polonius of some kind of personal hostility to the bandana wearer, and sure enough the hoppy toad quickly popped out ...

At last, a decent distraction.

The pond immediately romped off to Fairfax to discover the source of the wilful, outrageous falsehood that had so traduced the Pellist, and came across this ...

There's more here, but dammit, it could actually be an $85 million mansion! So much for that vile rumour it was a mere and humble thirty million.

And it was a 'leading Catholic priest' spreading the vile rumour ...

He said Cardinal Pell, the Archbishop of Sydney, had hoped all Australian dioceses would pay for it, but only Melbourne, Perth and Lismore had made contributions and the Sydney Archdiocese had paid the bulk.

He said Catholics of the four dioceses were not consulted, there was no prospect of a reasonable financial return and no accountability. "What does it say of us who trust bishops? The ethics of our secular state are higher than those of our church."

Even worse, it wasn't just the Fairfaxians, it was that liberal arm of the Murdochian reptiles, news.com.au ...

Holiday home? Pilgrim chic?

Well there's more here, but the pond couldn't resist a further description ...

Ten grand for the pipe, and a reich to last ten thousand years? And a humble $119 for a modest dégustation?

By golly, that cad Fitz has a lot to answer for, and it meant the pond finished - with wines to match - in good spirits, ready to tackle the last gobbet from prattling Polonius ...

Oh indeed, indeed, there's nothing like the young members of the royal family to produce a sense of reassurance, security and deep loyalty. 

When the Donald and Theresa call for help in the next adventure, we will be there. Thanks to that pick of the new ambassador - Vox here - and Theresa's valiant, splendid fight with the EU - she'd better leave the room now - and all for a mere fifty billion quid,  why wouldn't we turn to the young royals for reassurance and a new future?

Sadly, the pond avoided The Crown ... but only so we could see the aptly titled Hollow Crown ...

But still, there's a lingering sense at the pond of an opportunity missed, or lost ...

How soon can we get rid of the fizza, and turn the clock back to the 1950s, when, the pond has been assured, the clocks kept the right time, without any of this fangled digital nonsense ...