In which the pond spends quality uplifting time with the bromancing hagiographer ...

That definition here, and of course the point about a good hagiographer diligently at work is there should be some small connection to reality ... varicose veins or clusters of wrinkles dressed in, but not overwhelming the flattering portrait... 

That way, deplorable notes about crows-feet can turn into celebrations of laugh lines or character lines, and if that fails, why there's always the mindless stupidity of botox, or better still, the bromancer ...

Yes, the pond gets tired of all the bad news stories.

What's needed is the firm stroke of a steady hand landing the trifecta ... who needs eighty bucks to warn the Terrorists of the dangers of running with the bad news bears, constantly growling in a wearing way?

Hurtling off a fiscal cliff with Malware?

No, Terrorists, what we need is some daily uplift and sober reflections ...

... or better still, quality time with the bromancer ...

Sublime. Who knew that all the generals the Donald has surrounded himself with were actually businessmen in disguise? 

These picks just in, but at least there's a neurosurgeon in charge of housing ...pragmatists must do what pragmatists must do ...

Throw in a pro wrestler to wrestle small business into shape, and it's all looking good.

Of course there have been mockers and naysayers and doom merchants having a dig at Malcolm Trump ...

Indeed, indeed, it makes the job of the visionary hagiographer a tad more difficult, but that's why we must turn to the wild-eyed bromancer, always sharp in his ability to spot utter nonsense - if only because he so frequently spouts it himself ...

Remember, things will certainly be different, but only so they can be the same, a gathering of good friends and cheery chums, just like in the olden golden days ...

Frankly the pond came away feeling vastly relieved. 

It's not every day that you get to understand that a small sub is qualitatively different weapon from a big sub.

Who knew? Who could have guessed that a Barrett M82 .50 calibre would punch a little heavier than your average .22?

It's this sort of profound insight that makes the pond feel more intelligent and NRA aware by the day. 

Of course the pond won't be around when the last sub turns up, somewhere closing on on 2060, and might not even make it up to 2030 or so when the first one is due ... and Malware himself will be long gone from the premiership and the bromancer himself will most likely be blathering on in some digital void, as, after the death of the Chairman, the new management decides to end the loss-making tree killer edition of the reptile rag ...

But good luck with those big subs, future generations ... at least they won't be small subs, or a president with small hands.

And relax, the pond, with its infallible hagiographic wisdom, knows that the world of 2050 will be exactly the same as it is in 2016 ... which is why those big subs will still feel fresh, relevant and up to date ... just like the Collins class was ...

Oh of course there will be loons and malcontents who will head off to read Everything wrong about Malcolm Turnbull's submarine decision ...

It's their loss, as they miss out on the bromaner good news that everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds ...

Sort of, kind of, allowing for the ravages of laugh lines, but what's that you say?

Of course in that story, easily googled, the reptiles were capable of doing the real math ...

Which is why the pond decided to take a walk down bromancer memory lane to be reminded of how onerous is the job of hagiographer, how onerous is the task of re-writing history, because not only do the likes of Malware need to be burnished and polished until they gleam and shine, so do the scribbles of the bromancer himself, so frequently does the cock turn in the wind ...

Now all these may be googled for the full version ...here he is scribbling away on 5th March 2016 ...

And then there was this, again a few excerpts ...where suddenly the bromancer was swept away by the Japanese ...

... which is just as well, because that bromance was preceded by this one night stand ...

The pond could go on and on, as the futtock hagiographer himself has done on the matter of the subs, pissing or blowing into the wind as the wind blows and changes, but the pond will revert to the original received wisdom, which is to say that a big sub is bigger than a small sub ...

Oh and why not head off to finish off that First Dog cartoon, available in full here, celebrating the way climate science is treated with the consistency of a big sub...

And here's your sub, 2060 ... enjoy ... as you can see, this big sub it's much bigger than a small sandwich ...