In which the pond wraps it up for the year with a worthy winner and a final thought from freedom boy ...

The pond had simple aims when it started off ... to last a decade, or at least, to last long enough to cheer the demise of the chairman and the end of the reptiles of Oz ...

Or at least be able to reprint their belated acknowledgment that their rabid Catholic Boys' Daily ways didn't amount to a hill of beans business plan ...

Others might discover new long term goals, to be around say for the impeachment or the assassination of the Donald, or the wiping of all forms of religious fundamentalism from the globe, but the pond is not of a utopian mind ...

Thousands of years of mess suggest that the ending of mess isn't imminent ... and the chief illusion is that somehow a new messiah will come along and fix things, when generally messiahs have turned out to be naughty boys ... (along with the occasional naughty girl, come on Theresa, you can make a right proper hash of Brexit).

In the meantime, all that's left is to wish anyone who's strayed on to the pond for good or ill over the year a happy Xmas - insert god, solstice rite, saturnalia festival of choice in place of X, or insert Christ or Buddha or a stray Calathumpian if you will and don't mind the sound of Christmas or Calathumpmas or Buddhamas - and happy holydays and a jolly good New Year while we're at it ...

The pond will return in the new year, health and roads and reptiles permitting, because, sad to say, the heavy hitters at the lizard Oz have dismally failed to maintain the rage at the end of the year ...

The pond reports with profound regret that Dame Slap was a non-starter in the pond's quest to find a column that would hold sway, stay top of the page over the Xmas/New Year break, and symbolise everything the pond found worthy and insightful.

Planet Janet joined the Oreo and others in refusing to rise to the challenge. Squibs, losers, dropkicks, spoilsports, lazybones ...

Oh sure, there were diligent substitute reptiles on the field. After all, what would the break be without a climate denialist at the top of the opinion page ...

And the diligent bromancer, already certain to win the pond's 'favourite loon of the year' award, kept plugging away ...

But the pond is over religious fundamentalism of all kinds, apart from observing the curious way that reptile Catholic boys' daily fundamentalism has grown in tandem with Islamic fundamentalism ...

And there were the usual reptiles handing out gratuitous advice to Turnbull in the usual way ...

Um, could it be because his key agenda, in the context of the NBN, produces laughter and much good humoured banter about living in the age of copper?

The Terrorists were also in on this caper ...

But that was just silly Timmie suggesting that Malware grow balls of steel like good old Nifty Wran, seemingly oblivious to the way he was suggesting female politicians might have to go with a sex change if they were ever to perform adequately ...

But that's how it goes in a pussy-grabbing year.

And then as a late left field entry, there came a Citigroup chappie explaining how the banks could make out like bandits with higher interest rates, and that this was a 'paradigm shift' ...

Paradigm shift? The pond hadn't heard that sort of silly talk in many a year, and it was an excellent example of the abuse of the original meaning and of the English language ...

But this is the time of lightness and laughter, and so the pond had to head back in time to a humble state politician dedicated to fucking over Sydney and the NSW state finances, while part-time trying to whip up a war over Xmas ...

The brave lad joined in the usual chorus trying to sort out the season ...

Now the pond hadn't understood that Christmas had gone away ...

Where did it go? Did it disappear into the attic with the mad uncle or down into the basement with Tony Perkins' fruity old mum?

But that's why the pond constantly looks for enlightenment, along with a decent dose of irony ...

Well there you go, that will do nicely. 

You see the reptile Terrorists hitched a WSJ video to the parroting Perrottet, and it, in the spirit of the genuine Xmas - where X means $ - urged the world to shop like a holiday bot ...

A "personal technology" columnist?

So this is where agility and innovation have led us and the reptiles?

Could it get any more tragic? 

Well there was that "sponsored content" lurking at the top of the reptile digital page ... look, over on the right ...

Trails and treats?

Sponsored content of the most hideous and banal Nova Scotia kind? How the mighty reptiles and the Catholic Boys' Daily business plan lies in sponsored content tatters.

Pardon ... the pond must go bot shopping for  hideous jumpers too ...

Yes, it's the spirit of Xmas ... find the best price with an app!

It's as good as any an irony to accompany the parrot Perrottet sounding off, while a pagan symbol atop a pagan Xmas tree adds to the irony overload ...

Such a fuckwit - and while it explains the dire state of things in NSW, and the generally hopeless Baird government, the pond preferred to relish the irony of the Terrorists using pagan Xmas tree decorations to illustrate a fool blathering on about Christmas ... and the "C-word" ...

Secular zealots? Well it sure beats plain old fuckwits in poetic verbal motion ... now where was that app?

Prices crash!

Well it's time to wrap up this tiresome clown and his jingle jangle jingle bells ...

And yes, there you have in a nutshell why the Baird government is fucked in the head ... and why the pond instinctively reacted with the thought, 'Merry Xmas?', why don't you just fuck off prattling parrot Perrottet and it might be a happy fucking Christmas ... or Buddhamas or whatever ...

You see, if you can find space for silly Islamics, why not find a little space for secular zealots, you overbearing oppressive persecuting dingbat ...

But while the parrot Perrottet did much to establish the mood of Xmas cheer at the pond, we wouldn't want the last post to sound too lightweight, and that's why the pond thought it should honour the most useless campaign of the year, the reptile hysteria over 18C, over which nobody except Bill Leak and the reptiles care much much of a toss ...

Valiant freedom boy was at it again this day ...

And so freedom boy once again joined a campaign that has gone on and on, suggesting that the privileged chattering classes have got way too much time on their hands, and really don't have a first clue about what's agitating the average punter feeling the budgetary heat ...

Splash useful cash on this sort of ongoing crusade? Subscribe to the lizard Oz as a way of endorsing all this useless venting and hot air spleen?

Never mind, it's over to freedom boy for the last time this year ...

Could the pond produce a better example of an indulged ruling 'leet carrying on about nothing, in much the same way as the reptiles have conducted themselves throughout the year, and with bonus rabid ideology and a throwaway free book from Troy which clearly was already on its way to the remaindered shelves ...

Valued at $49.99? Hmm, where was that bot?

$28 bucks with free shipping and that's without going below the fold.

Oh thank you spirit of Xmas bot, thank you ...

And now it's back to Troy for the very last serious thoughts of the year ...

Now somewhere in there, freedom boy seemed to be suggesting that it should all be left to the states - states frame laws around harassment and they do - yet only a few short pars on, the dear lad goes on to deplore Tasmanian state law in the area and be shocked by its impact on a bigoted Catholic doing what bigoted Catholics do ...

And then, right at the end, came that delightful bit of Orwellian wordsmithing of the kind that the pond loves ...

"Projecting challenging ideas ..."

That's standard reptile code for projecting bigotry, hate, fear, loathing, rabid climate denialism, black and gender bashing, and all the rest of the nonsense that has preoccupied the chattering 'leets this year and produced the endless diatribes that have littered the pond like mouse droppings ...

According to the pond's record, the reptiles' "challenging ideas" have flourished shamelessly, unhindered in any way, shape or form by 18C, the abundant growth only matched in an inverse way by the reptiles' business model's sponsored content, get a free useless book business plan death spiral...

No doubt there will be even more tut-tutting and carry on should someone who has been the butt of this projecting of challenging ideas dares to speak her mind ...

And now before signing off, the pond should explain that illustration at the top of the page ...

What a drop kick try hard loser, almost as silly as your average cash in the paw grant-loving Caterist ...

And with that the pond wishes a good night, and a good luck to everyone, until the new year at least ...

Or even not descended from fearful women ...