In which the pond declines yet another chance to make a lazy eighty bucks ...

And still the Terrorist reptiles send out urgent pleas to mug punters anxious to score a lazy eighty bucks while helping the reptiles fix up their ailing, flailing, failing business plan ...

Of course the pond was standing by, willing and able to help for nothing ... but sadly, they'd gone ahead and appointed Sharri as national political editor.

Now don't get the pond started on Sharri ... no doubt she brings an enormous amount of gravitas, clout and weight to the role ...

Oh indeed, what a splendidly simpering sight, and more wittering twittery here, but first the pond felt inspired by that Kurti chappie, though the pond thought it could drop the jingoism of the flag from the splash ... wouldn't want to be accused of flagism ...

Now it's true that there's an unfortunate use of the word 'racist' when it's misapplied to matters ethnic, cultural or religious ... but perhaps more importantly, whenever the pond lands in the company of someone shouting about "do-gooder elites", the correct term of abuse isn't 'racist' ... it's the plain, old-fashioned, Tamworthian "barking mad."

The pond understands this might offend people with mental health issues, but rest assured the barking mad barking on about "do-gooder elites" are no reflection on the ordinary mad loons of the pond type as they go about making a daily living ...

Now the barking mad Kurti will be recognisable to pond dwellers.

His media profile shows his form ...

It's like a wannabe loser who wants to spend all his time at The Spectator, but somehow has found himself in a second rate, cheap as tree-killing chips tabloid so clueless it must offer a risible eighty smackeroos to mug punters to work out what the fuck it's doing, via focus groups comprised of hard up lost Sydney souls  ...

There's more about Kurti at the CIS here - he started off an Anglican, don't you know - but the pond feels it should get on with this day's read ... though the pond knows for a certainty who he's going to give a hard time to ...

Surely it has to be the reptiles of Oz, and the vile serpent they have nurtured and clutched to their bosom ...

Indeed, indeed, shocking stuff, and let's now watch as Kurti ignores 18C and Triggsie, and calls out Pearson big time ...

Oh dear, the pond reads the reptiles on a daily basis and routinely gets it wrong. 

Still, that's a handsome snap of a jingoist flag, and the comments are on fire and it's all happening at the Terror.

Why on earth would they need to spend eighty bucks finding out what's wrong, when they routinely produce this sort of compelling narrative?

Now at this point it behoves the pond to note that it's not just some damned furriner that's got Kurti agitated, it's one of those damned black helicopter types using climate science covertly to introduce world government, coming down here with their fancy ways and their stuck up airs ...

Eek, dear sweet absent lord, it's just like the movie predicted ...

Never mind, time to wrap up the rest of Kurti ...

Indeed, indeed, the pond is right there with Boris Johnson, and ready to denounce any lickspittles who consort with the Saudis ...

Oops, excluding the chairman of course ...

As for the agitated commenters, Kurti naturally produced the right post-ironic satirical response ...

It struck exactly the right note beneath a column advising us to stop talking about the rise of racism ... and denouncing accusations of racism as the new secular sin (why is it that religionistas must insist on secular sin? Are the original ones no longer good enough?)

Now there were a few shocking sceptics ...

This came at a time when the Terrorists have gone big on a bout of Islam bashing, with front page stories on the trot, but the pond's favourite came with this ...

Indeed, indeed, and it reminded the pond that we had no need of the concept of 'racism' when 'animalism' was much more to the point.

Why bother to be racist when we can be animalist?

And now, as the pond has gone a little giddy and faint-headed this morning - too much exposure to the Terrorists can induce cataleptic shock - there's just enough time to return to the matter of Sharri for a moment.

It would truly be too tedious to wade through the entirety of Sharri's hagiographical effort about Hanson.

For some reason the bubble-headed booby is doing her level best to give Hanson gravitas, weight and clout.

For what it's worth, the pond's conspiracy theory is that by elevating Hanson, Sharri and the Terrorists will be able to force the quivering jellies and wets in the Liberal party even more towards the radical right ... so that Cory and George will seem normal and acceptable and indeed, quite moderate ...

To do this, Markson must take both Hanson and that phone-throwing twit James Ashby very seriously.

Markson gravely assures us that Hanson is no longer a political fringe character, she is more disciplined and focussed, and helping Malware without making demands for unrelated pet projects like the rest of the fickle rabble that make up the crossbench (you know, like that loon Rod Culleton, who on earth got that fool into the Senate?).

"She is cultivating a reputation as a responsible right-wing player and it's causing fierce concern among Liberals."

Now as always with Sharri, the pond manages to find an inordinate amount of humour ...

Yes, that throwaway line "like Clive Palmer before her", will do it for the pond ... because Clive Palmer's political career worked out a total treat.

Around this point, the pond weakened and decided to run more Sharri, because there's nothing like a simpleton in the morning to please the pond ...

On and on Markson went, elevating, facilitating, pandering to, and celebrating ... so much so that the pond felt the need to compress it into small print, just to get the pain over more quickly ...

The mainstreaming of One Nation?

That's the Terrorist Markson-streaming of One Nation ...

They want eighty bucks to be told of the dangers of one fuckwit celebrating the works and deeds of another fuckwit?

Well it ended up this way ...

And naturally it got exactly the reaction it was trolling for ...

Just a Muslim lover?

Didn't he secretly convert to Islam as a result of a pact with Satan that saw him take control in an ungodly coup? Isn't Pauline the only one that can save us from these fiendish Islamics?

And with that, the pond understood that there are cats, conspiracy theories and the truth ...

The Daily Terror, with Markson contributing in fine style, is actively seeking to do harm to the body politic, and shift the Liberal party deep into Hanson territory ...

No matter how many eighty bucks they splash out, nothing will change this deeply fucked truth ... and with a bit of luck, at some point they will go the way of Clive Palmer and his dinosaurs ...

And so to a relevant Wilcox, and more Wilcox here ...

And don't forget the chorus, "down in upsy-down Sharri Kurti reptile town ..."