Day 68 of MUC and day 21 of MOC and the dog botherer and Polonius do battle over the Turnbull bone ...

There's nothing like starting the day with the sight of a right couple of royal Nemos, and the pond owes the pleasure to David Pope, with more papal pleasures available at his gallery here ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles are in full flight this day ...

The usual pandering hacks are out and about, doing their forelock-tugging business ...

Admirable really ... and lo, behold, the heavyweights, old Dame Slap and new Lenin medal hunting cockatoo Major Mitchell have both turned up on a Saturday, the Dame to slap down the filthy, vile greenies ... and the cocky ... well, the cocky seems to want to parrot Peta ...

So many choices and so little time, and naturally, being full of perversity, the pond hungered for its weekly history lesson from prattling Polonius ... this week doing his Greta "I want to be alone" Garbo impression ... or should that be his Mal "leave his lawn alone" Ware impression ...

Let it be, let it be, who knew Polonius was a secret Beatles lover, spinning the platters backwards for the hidden message ...

And that's how you overlook the central fact of Abbott's deep unpopularity infesting Malware like a dose of the bubonic plague ... 

But by golly, Polonius is in good form this day, re-living the Menzies dream and the onion-munching wall-puncher's success ... while mocking the Fairfaxians ...

And so, with a breath-taking astuteness, Polonius strikes from the record all the many criticisms Malware made of the Abbott government while he was leader in exile, waiting to implant his mercury in the ear of the onion-muncher's leadership ...

Hmmm, what could they have been about, those dog whistles?

But enough of Rowe fun - more Rowe here - because another of the pundits, the dog botherer himself, is also out and about this Saturday, and what a fine parade of hounds it makes ...

Yes, the dog botherer is in full coaching mode - the dog botherer refuses to let Malware be - and the sadly, the pond has absolutely no explanation for google deciding to drop that image alongside the story ... oh the perfidy of the logarithm ...

Yes, it's always startling to see the dog botherer staring out, with the look of a stunned mullet, but let's get on to the core beliefs and the core values ...

First, it seems, we must dismiss everything Malware purported to believe in, these being irrelevant to the electorate's dreams and desires ...

   

At the end of it all, the pond didn't have a clue what the dog botherer was jibber jabbering about.

Malware should boast of his ability to set up tax avoidance strategies in the Cayman Islands and people would flock to imitate him and that would help out the dire revenue situation?

Or he should promote his Godwin Grech capacity for competence?

Competence! Yes indeed the pond just knew those multi noodle cabinets would come in handy for something ...

Now there's competence. New spaces for urban art.

And please, there's no need to worry about other proposed reasons for the incompetence ...

The brightest minds in the nation are on the job, ferreting out the innumerate and the illeterate who somehow made it into the pit ...

By golly, thank the long absent lord there's just enough time for another Rowe cartoon, bless his invisible emperor clothing socks ...