Day 64 of MUC and day 17 of MOC, and as the reptiles keen and moan and wail, beware the calends of July ...

It seems only the Daily Terrorists are doing the right photoshopped thing these days ... still maintaining the juvenile rage...

But it seems half-hearted. What's wrong with Roald Dahl, chocolate, Gene Wilder and even Johnny Depp - apart from his dogs, comical videos and the entire Pirates of the Caribbean series?

It's pretty much a desperate Br'er Rabbit front page, and the reptiles do Malware no favours by trying this kind of beat up...

Up north in the land of the toads, the reptiles have tried a different kind of scare tactic ...

Strange, now we have mutton Dutton in charge, Hanson feels almost like a centrist ...

Meanwhile, the pond was pleased to see that the most abject, awful piece of public television has continued at Lateline ...

Rides shotgun?

Is that code for rides with simpering, silly questions and bad to the bone music?

No link, the pond has ethical considerations when it comes to exposing readers to the meaningless grotesque ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles of Oz are doing their level best to give Bill Shorten a leg up.

The lizard Oz is littered with hand-wringing and anxiety about Malware, with Abbott hovering like a grinning Cheshire cat high up in the tree ...

Now we might expect this of the bromancer, who spends his day worrying why Malware isn't Tony Abbott - for only the squillionth time ...

A big problem is allowing the bromancer to define Malware as ... not being Tony Abbott?

So it seems ...

Let Turnbull be Turnbull by all means, but if he isn't Tony Abbott, what's the point?

Troy Bramston took up the idea and went one better ...

Looking at this line, the pond almost began to suspect that Bramston was a fifth columnist for either Bill Shorten or Tony Abbott, since both would be happy to see Malware go down ...

Troy as a Falangist with a fifth column ready to subvert, infiltrate and betray? 

So it seems ...

Indeed, indeed.

And then you have the fatuous poodle, sounding ever more stupid when daring to speak of technology ...

Mr Pyne, the Minister for Innovation, Science and Industry, said the Coalition's NBN would cost "$30 billion less" and "it will all be finished by 2020, not 2024 as Labor was promising". 
"[People] simply didn't need the speeds that Labor was promising, but it was costing an absolute bomb. Why did the AFP raid Labor offices? We explain whether the election campaign affects the way the AFP operates and the link between the NBN and the Government. 
"You will be able to watch five full-length movies in the same household if you all want to at the same time. "Which is a lot of movies. That's a lot of televisions."
Mr Pyne's rival on the program, Labor shadow infrastructure and transport spokesman Anthony Albanese, responded by saying "the NBN isn't about movies, it's about our economy and how it functions". (here).

Well yes you stupid poodle, it isn't about watching five full-length movies simultaneously, you fatuous, sublimely silly minister for innovation ...

That's a lot of televisions? That's a lot of dumb and dumber ... though it does help explain this story splash in the lizard Oz ...

A government with a minister of innovation who thinks fast broadband is just about giving the punters movies to watch on more televisions?

Why we may as well have the onion muncher back in charge. Take it away Troy, let's have some more subversion and movement of the columns ...

Already the talk of opposition, and mass slaughter in the ranks, and the return of the Messiah?

Abbott as Bob Menzies revanche ...

It's the reason the pond loves the reptiles. It's a complete waste of time, it's meaningless, it's onanistic, but as with chocolate, the pond takes its treats where it finds them ...

Speaking of which, we should also note that the oscillating fan is sounding the same drum this day ...

So we shift from defeat and anarchy on the opposition benches, to a narrow win and anarchy on the government benches ...

Relax, relax, the pond left that bit about the travelling preview - as close to a surrealistic nightmare as can be imagined with "Ned" Kelly, the Oscillating Fan, the Dog Botherer and the Oreo biscuit - but cut off the bit about the cost and the locations and how to sign up ... there's only so much suffering even the pond dare inflict on a stray reader ...

As for that reference to the calends, the pond knows that it's the first of the month, not the second, and that "ides" doesn't apply, because it's not the middle of the month ...(as you can check on this piece about the Roman calendar here).

But somehow, reading the reptiles brooding about Tony "cheshire cat" Abbott, and contemplating the end of Malware, thoughts of ides and Caesar and 'et tu Tony' kept crowding in ...

Of course the closest the oscillating fan dare go in his fifth column activities is to suggest a lack of "partyroom authority" but we all know what that means ... someone's already sharpening his knife ...

But enough of David Low and the night of the long knives, how about another David? 

And speaking of deep questions, why are all the best cartoonists called David? Discuss, and find more Rowe here ...