Day 61 of MUC and day 14 of MOC, and no one's going to rain on Malware's paraaade, except maybe Laurie Oakes, the Bolter and croweaters ...

Disappointing really ...

Sure, the reptiles are doing their best 'chicken little' impression to remind us that when the sky falls down - as it surely will in these 'Drexit the Donald' times - the budget won't be able to handle the crisis ... but how is this helping their man, who produced said budget?

As for their man this day...

Meanwhile, in glorious New South Wales ...

Free beer, gambling, boofheads and a gigantic road, the process as corrupt as the road is long, carves its way through the inner west ...

Better to concentrate on the things that matter and batter rather than Malware's hopes and dreams.

But this day the reptiles of Oz have reluctantly turned their attention back to that other disaster carving its boxed, nodal, noodling copper way through the suburbs ...

Actually it's not just Bill Shorten that has framed the issue as a test of the people's right to know about the true state of the broadband network. 

Come on down and frame the issue, mighty Bolter ...

There's something incredibly piquant and tasty in being able to recycle the Bolter, frothing indignant about Malware mucking up the NBN. 

Why it's almost pond-like.

But wait, there's more, because when it comes to scavenging, the Bolter always has his eye out looking for a bright Malware bauble ... and this day another trinket caught the bowerbird's attention ...

Faithfully laid out for the faithful to read in summarised blog form for free ... how's that subscription plan working out Terrorists? 

Oh indeed, indeed, and then there's the question of plausible deniability ...

So to summarise, it seems Malware doesn't talk to his ministers, and they don't talk to him, because he's too busy having lunch in men's only clubs,  or perhaps it's just because Fifield is a prize gherkin ... and the AFP thought, being loyal servants of mutton Dutton, that the police state had already landed and they could jackboot around during an election campaign ...

Now to be fair, the reptiles do have their loyal and faithful servants attempting to help out Malware.

John Durie, better known as "the hack for reprinting NBN press releases", was diligent in his work ...

The noble hack had a couple of attempts to prove that the project is still on track and on budget and everything's for the best in the best of all possible worlds ...

Oh yes, yes, it's an election winner, no doubt about it ... rolling out here and there and everywhere ... and especially in marginal seats ... not that the NBN is in anyway political ... or caught up in the election campaign ...

The reality is ...?

Oh loyal and noble hack, unfortunately, the pond happened to glance further down the lizard Oz's digital page this very day... and what do you know?

It's just one of many keening moans and sobbing sighs the pond could have been running until it gave up all hope of decent broadband landing within the pond's area in the pond's working lifetime ... 

And as for being a doctor in a remote area ...

Now the pond has very little sympathy for the McCombes. 

Anyone choosing to live in a remote area such as Adelaide deserve all they get, and anyone who lives 85 kms south of Adelaide might just as well have set up shop at Peterborough ... or Victor Harbour ... 

Talk about dead heart black stump remote!

Eek, they still have horse-drawn broadband ...

Besides, what about the pond?

We live about six kilometres from Sydney's GPO and have to rely on The Optus The ... who have stopped maintaining the network, and are running it into the ground knowing that soon enough the NBN will come along to socialise the costs ...

How could you possibly compete with that suffering, Dr McCombe?

Sixty bucks for six GB? 75 GB over a four week period ... 

Oh okay, that's truly fucked ... the pond uploads enough data to chew through that limit in a nanosecond.

Dr McCombe wins and it's another glorious day for broadband in Australia ...

Which naturally brings the pond to the Pope who over the years has delivered a splendid number of papal insights into Malware's broadband (not to mention Stephen "have we got a great big filter for you" Conroy) ...

Yes, the pond can sing along to that one, and more sweet papal music here ...

By the way, whenever the Streisand effect is mentioned, the pond feels the unholy urge to publish a photo of the relevant house ...