Friday, September 24, 2021

In which the reptiles call Ron down from the back paddock, and our hole in the bucket man cries freedumb ...

 

Imagine the pond's surprise last night to be confronted by Morning Joe, still ranting on about relationships with the perfidious French, and relieved that at least the ambassador was returning to the USA. 

Not much attention was paid to the perfidious Scotty from marketing, and no mention of the missing Oz ambassador - the blunder from down under is considered an irrelevance, as is the entire country - while most seemed to regard the donnez moi un break lad as something of a clown.

What a relief to turn to the lizard Oz this morning and discover that the entire subs saga had been scrubbed, rendered invisible and the reptiles had moved on ...



 

But that top of the page headline reminded the pond of something else it watched last night - a line-up of US late night show hosts rabbiting on about climate science, as if it was somehow real, as if our technology neutral beefy boofhead Angus hadn't already got the matter well in hand, and the subsidies ready to keep on rolling ...




What would the likes of Kimmel and Colbert and Myer know up against the beefy boofhead, and doing dodgy figures for Clover?

And in a moment of crisis the reptiles knew what to do. 

Call back Ron, thought lost somewhere out in the back paddock, but always ready for a whine ...



 

These days the pond thinks as long and as much about Ron as it does about the pig's arse man ... but back in the day, Ron was a proud dinkum clean Oz coal loving man terribly worried about harming a hair on its innocent virginal head and also worried about the Indians, as in this 2015 outing ...

 




 

Googling Ron and climate science will produce some wondrous inanities ...

So the pond must celebrate the reptiles' determination to prove that the dinosaurs are alive and well and living in the top paddock, ready for a recall at a moment's notice ...

Ron's return to continue the good fight moved the pond deeply ...

 



 

Of course it's just more blather and whining Ron, and amusingly it comes at a time when the coalition is deeply divided, with some realising that the dinosaurs have put them in a tricky position ... and perhaps they should pretend to be doing something about it ...

 




It's like the rest of that beefy Angus boofhead story, wherein Barners reminded the pond of Taminda, which reminded the pond of one of its relatives up Moonbi way, working for a company making a motza by pandering to the international greenie market for new green technologies ...



Over his dead body? No doubt it could be arranged ...



 

Now the pond will admit that's a long detour amongst the Barners dinosaurs, unaware of what's going down out Moonbi way, but back to a final gobbet of undiluted whine from dinosaur Ron ... recalled by the reptiles in their hour of need ...




 

Indeed, indeed, and dare the pond mention the exporting of coal, perhaps the ultimate outsourcing con trick, because no way should we be held accountable for what others do with our lovely dinkum Oz contribution to the woes of late night American TV hosts ...

And so to the usual Friday treat, our Henry, heralded at the top of the reptile page with this ...

 




 

Fuck they're a predictable mob, but our Henry is torn, as he does his best for the freedumb fighters.

In the old days, a mob rioting outside of a shrine of remembrance would be dismissed out of hand, all the more so when it's for a truly stupid cause ... but what if the rioters are at one with Sky after dark and Tucker and Faux Noise and all the rest of that monstrous nonsense?

Oh what turmoil that causes for the hole in the bucket man ...



 

Watching our Henry attempt to spin on a dime is always richly rewarding ... just cop a squiz as his "to say thats" and his "nor is it to denies" and his "where to draw the lines" and "we must protect the right to protest for the sake of being able to protest about protesting in favour of protests" ...



 

See how the reptiles try to have it both ways? Insert a video clip saying we should be absolutely appalled by the Melbourne protests, while comparing comrade Dan to King Kong, and running a line from the hole in the bucket man wherein he resolutely refuses to be appalled ...

Time for more cavils and caveats from our hole in the bucket man ...


 

What the fuck? What is this blather about putative justification and assorted forms of American nonsense?

What a fucking idiot he is, and the pond will turn its commentary over to a contributor ...

If you die we won’t cry
We’ll be cold as stone
You marched along
Singing that stupid song
When you should have stayed at home

If you get vaccinated
Your rights aren’t violated
You know your world won’t fall apart
How can it be that you are afraid
To get a covid jab?

We can’t hear you
When you shout so loud
Have those Nazis
Overtaken your crowd?

If that’s the way it’s gonna be anti-vaxxers
You could die and join the corpses yeah
Piled up to the sky anti-vaxxers
And if you do
Who gives a fuck
Who gives a fu-u-uck!

Indeed, indeed, who gives a flying fuck about our Henry's tosh in aid of a bunch of freedumb fuckwits, with his caveats of the "obviously this doesn't imply" kind ...?

In fact the reptiles felt the need to remind the readership of where they actually stood by inserting a video clip ...

 



 

Yes our Henry is blathering on about freedumb, even though the loons crying freedumb were too stupid to realise that mounting the shrine might be a freedumb too far ...

And so to a last gobbet from our ponderous, portentous pontificator, content to explore the nuances of a riot in the cause of stupidity ...




South Africa? Apartheid? Rioting to avoid a shot and instead swallow a load of horse paste is a rough equivalent?

What a fuckwit he is, and the the pond might add ...

There's a hole in the rioters' heads dear Henry, dear Henry
There's a hole in the rioters' heads dear Henry, dear Henry
So fix it dear Henry dear Henry
With what should I fix it? dear pond, dear pond
Oh you are a freedumb crying, demo loving fuckwit, dear Henry, dear Henry
Oh perhaps give them Ivermectin or hydroxy or bleach or light up the bum
Or any of the other nonsense in the wiki here
Then send them to bed with a clip over the ears, dear Henry, dear Henry ... 

Well it's not as good as the pond's correspondent's effort, but then dear Henry isn't particularly inspirational, all the more so as the reptiles felt the need to end his nonsense, his jibber jabber about Lincoln and the like with a video clip ... featuring, of all people,  comrade Dan ...





And so to the real tragedy of the day. The pond had assorted cartoons lined up, ready for the next stage in the reptile sub saga, and was mortified to discover that the subs had been "disappeared" ...

Of course the yarn hadn't disappeared elsewhere, and the furious French were alive and well in the Graudian ...

 


 

 

Whatever, that's enough of an excuse for the pond, and besides, it's a Friday ... so on with the cartoons anyway ...







 

And that infallible Pope deserves an explanation and a link to The Raft of the Medusa referencing the homage ... if the perfidious French ever allow perfidious Oz tourists back into the Louvre to see it ...

 





14 comments:

  1. Fraudenberg: Australia has a lot to lose if others believe “we are not transitioning in line with the rest of the world”.

    ScoVid: Asked whether Australia had decided to go net zero by 2050, the PM told reporters: “If Australia had made such a decision I would have announced it.

    “Australia has not made a final decision on that matter. I will consider it further when I return to Australia.“

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmm, so Ron Boswell would like us to take account of "embodied carbon". And here's simple little old me thinking that there's just nothing more 'embodied' than lumps of anthracite and lignite, aka black and brown coal.

    So clearly, Ron must be saying that for every kg of coal Australia sells, it must be credited with the emissions generated by that coal when it's burnt. After all, China doesn't have to burn coal to produce steel: it can use solar photovoltaic or wind to produce green hydrogen which can be used to smelt iron. Amongst other things.

    Nonetheless, as I'm sure Ron would agree, it's really the countries using the products produced with coal that should cop the emission counts. In short, it's the US, Britain, and the EU not China and not Australia. Well, I suppose we can get credited for all the stuff that China produces that we use - and China uses quite a lot of its own output, what with all those very big buildings and all those warships.

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  3. ‘Ideally, requirements structuring and limiting governments’ ability to limit basic freedoms in emergencies would be incorporated into any emergency powers legislation itself.’

    For all his claimed international experience, I doubt that the Henry has spent much time getting actual legislation enacted. Very likely he sat on committees that prepared reports; made recommendations, even, but he would have been regarded with some scorn by drafting counsel of whatever parliament he was advising, if his drafting instructions contained propositions like that.

    Unfortunately, the person who, with great patience, could have explained how the Henry’s proposition is close to an oxymoron is no longer available to do so. I cite Major General Alan Stretton, who, in response to the destruction of Darwin by Cyclone Tracy, applied emergency powers to an extent that would have had the writers of reptile ‘opinion’ truly struggling for words. For example, local magistrate decides that, in his view, the ‘rule of law’ will be met by his convening court over some relatively minor crimes. Stretton walked into the court and shut it down, because it was inimical to the prime objective.

    There are two fundamental problems with the reptile commentary on Melbourne. One is that the condition of the city is nowhere near the scale of a major earthquake, flood or fire. The other, perhaps the first in importance, is that we are importing stupidity from across the waters. That may be the greater natural disaster, and it would be good to see the reptiles thinking of ways actually to respond to that impact, and restore ‘peace, order and good government’.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's that old saw: everything is easy to those who don't have to do it themselves. So it's all just a doddle to Holely Henry.

      However, we have always "imported stupidity from across the waters", what particular brand did you have in mind this time ?

      Delete
    2. GB - our Gracie has done a neat job of identifying the current imported stupidity in her contribution to the Flagship for this weekend. Much better than yr. hmble. etc.

      Delete
    3. Ah, the "pandemic of narcissism", you mean, Chad ? Dunno how much of that is "imported" versus just being awakened. We all do remember Francis de Groot and the New Guard, don't we ? And Eric Butler and the Australian League of Rights ?

      What we've imported is the technology that enables international contact and reinforcement entirely unavailable to the Eric Butlers of this world.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Far-right_politics_in_Australia

      Delete
  4. Ah, "Life of Beer, Footy and Politics" crows Australia's New York Times with a repellent image on front cover.

    Odd.

    Described as "a larrikin" in the commercial news packages. The reality was far, far different to "larrikin".

    Over to Crikey for an unveiling of sorts: https://www.crikey.com.au/2021/09/24/the-seedy-rise-and-fall-of-john-elliotts-tottering-empire/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So, all I can say is that if, as many appear very eager to aver, Elliot was "larger than life", then life is indeed very small.

      Delete
    2. Thank you VC - starts to put it into proper perspective. Too many of the articles on 'captains of industry' who have fallen do not get beyond their personal money losses. Probably because the amounts of other people's money they have lost comes to a number difficult to believe (unless your money was in that summation).

      What was that line about 'running out of other people's money'? All of our corporate raiders of Elliott's time were playing with other people's money - and, too often, those other people were unaware of what was being done with their money - until the collapse.

      Delete
    3. Besides, John Elliot wasn't really the man behind the success of John Elliot:

      "Paramount among these tax exiles is Richard Wiesener. He and Australian Test opener Bob Cowper were the two fabled shadows behind the rise of John Elliott.
      'People have called Monaco a tax haven and me a tax adviser. It's not and I'm not,' explained an emphatic Wiesener, whose fortune is estimated at $200 million.
      "

      http://ericellis.com/archive/monaco.htm

      Delete
  5. If you put the three members of AUKUS in order of dominance you get the even more awkward acronym USUKA – which seems a fitting brickbat to hurl at Scomo for his eagerness to let the US take over our navy.

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    Replies
    1. Aw, c'mon Kez, if we let the US take over, we might actually have a navy. Again.

      Delete
  6. DP, you often remark on how America is screwed. You showed us why in a post from 2011, where you invited us to view a clip by the great Jon Stewart ranting about Trump eating pizza: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xWg81946Xw
    He said it all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the link Joe. I hadn't seen that clip before - it's hilarious.

      Delete

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