Tuesday, September 15, 2020

In which the reptiles offer a sedate Emperor Donald Tuesday ...


The pond decided to spare passing stray readers an encounter with Killer Creighton. This wasn't out of kindness, the pond is keen that the killing begin as soon as possible, hopefully with a hot spot in Surry Hills ... but rather a sense of tedium and ennui, as even the reptiles begin to slow down. There's only so much viral virus rage even a reptile can bear ...

Scan the digital edition and you won't find much news about the reptiles' favourite radical, left of centre government imposing a lockdown ...



That's what happens when you have a comrade Benjamin at the helm.

And of course all over Europe there are other comrades grappling with spikes - comrade Macron, comrade Sánchez, and lots of other comrades of all kinds of political hues and colours - but why look to Killer Creighton for either that news or an intelligent response?

And so the pond reverted to the reptiles trying to get the Donald re-elected ... but with the bromancer MIA, the pond had to turn to a straight Cameron report ...


Oh well, it's still a chance to run a cartoon ...



Yes, the pond is feeling slack. How to tell Victorians the weather in Sydney is nice, and so there'll be a nice walk some time in the day, and meanwhile, Cameron is reading the runes, hoping against hope that the Donald might yet surge ...

Indeed, indeed, and of course the reptiles are in favour of spikes and superspreader events, because either the virus is a hoax, went away in April, is not as bad as has been made out, or the bleach offered at the door of the rallies works a treat ...

Have another cartoon ...




And so to a final insubstantial gobbet, with the chicken livers and the tea leaves inconclusive ...


Yes, we're turning the corner on the virus, it will be easily defeated, in fact it went away like magic in April, in the those hot summer days all to do with forest management, and there'll certainly be no shutdown of the kind offered by that dangerous radical leftist comrade Benjamin, taking his marching orders from well-known Orwellian big brother, comrade Dan ...

Here have another cartoon ...


 And so to the other reptile commentators, and what a disappointing crop this day ...



Any sympathetic, understanding reader must understand the pond's dilemma. How can you curate the best loons, when the loons have flown away?

Sure, simplistic Simon leads the way, but the pond has already acknowledged many times his wondrous hagiographic capacity for kissing SloMo's arse, so there's nothing novel there ...

And that's why the pond stayed with reptile reporting on the Donald ...


Now right from the get go, the pond must apologise for the reptiles, and apologise to readers, for presenting the thoughts of one of a bunch of suckers and leftist losers, who rightly roused the lizard Oz readership to a storm of protest ...


The pond can't imagine why the reptiles ran this sad sorry excuse for a loser, sucker insight.

But the reptile dereliction of dusty doesn't excuse the pond for also being a sad excuse, because everyone knows that Emperor Trump should be re-elected, though the folly of needing to elect an emperor will soon be exposed. Let them have their Vlad rule them for a lifetime!

But given we'd ended up here, there was nothing to do but to go from here to there ...



Fortunately the readership was standing by to correct this dismal ponce, and shout out for the Donald ...

Oh indeed, indeed ...

Judge a rag by its readership the pond always says, and what a pretty readership the reptiles have. Of course there's the old internet saw that you should never read the comments, but the pond reckons its readership rises above reptile moron level, and might even enjoy a cartoon ...




Of course poor old Simon doesn't seem to have the first clue about the contempt, fear and loathing that the reptile readership has for his mob, and so he went on analysing, and carefully calibrating, and holding out a little statistical hope that the Donald might still get across the line ...


One in three? Oh come now ...


You see Simon, all your talk is helping the Donald loose the election, when really he shouldn't be loosing at all ... please imbibe this cartoon, and then offer due and considered hope ...




There,  have you taken a good look at your leftist ways? Realised it's time to exercise a little caution, a little quisling equivocation? Remember who you're scribbling for, remember there's a baying horde at the gate lusting for your blood ...


Ah, at last, a moment of sanity. His chances of re-election are considerably higher than suggested by polling to date.

Better, almost a justification for the reptiles running your piece ...

And yet even with that quisling equivocation, Simon couldn't satiate the bloodlust of the reptile readership mob ...



Back in your clueless cave, mindless equivocating quisling ...

Ah well, never mind, have another cartoon ...




And so to a bonus for the day, and it's such desperate times at the lizard Oz, when just a few star players leave the field, that the pond was forced to resort to the lizard Oz editorialist, doing a follow-up ...



What were the odds that "white blokes, take a bow" was in fact written by a post-ironic, post-modernist lizard Oz white bloke, taking a bow? You know, like nattering grand old fart "Ned", as one pond reader noted, trying to pretend he could do a Dame Slap or an Oreo ...

Could anyone other than a white bloke, after contemplating the pussy-grabbing, racist, confederate flag and statue loving Donald, blather how the Donald must be the solution, able to solve US problems, so that it might spiral upwards ...

Well, even the white bloke steered clear of that in his final gobbet ...


Say what? Did the taking a bow white bloke just scribble it's important because it's the idiot's guide to woke ideology? Did the bowing white bloke just propose that the lizard Oz readership is a bunch of idiots in need of an idiot's guide?

Idiots?! Oh well, fair cop ...idiot lizard editorialists scribbling for their idiot emperor-worshipping readership.

By the way, does anyone at the lizard Oz understand the ideological goals that lie beneath the wretched reporting and commentaries that produced a seething mass of fanatical Trumpians full of emperor worship, or the desire for Killer Creighton to bring back the killing fields asap? Just asking for a friend ...

What? It's all just so the Murdochians can keep on enriching themselves? Who'd have guessed?

Meanwhile, that same asking friend would appreciate a reptile idiot's guide to these cartoons by the infallible Pope and the immortal Rowe. 

For the life of the pond, the pond can't make head or tail of them ... something about a snake devouring itself, an arcane reference to Ouroboros ...


 And what on earth to make of this? With more confusion to hand here ...




The pond is loosing it, yes, the reptiles have helped the pond loose its mind ...



16 comments:

  1. .....the pond reckons its readership rises above reptile moron level, and might even enjoy a cartoon ...
    Spot on!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The pickings appeared rather thin at the outset Dorothy, but the Ed. delivered in spades.
    “How to Derange Democracy 101”......The Murdochian life mission. Sheesh, I can’t believe they actually used that.
    I think the daily content is light as every hand is probably on deck for today’s Austra/Pennsylvanian gas fired reset to recovery.
    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/sep/15/government-to-use-529m-funding-to-unlock-more-gas-for-domestic-market?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

    “Say what? Did the taking a bow white bloke just scribble it's important because it's the idiot's guide to woke ideology? Did the bowing white bloke just propose that the lizard Oz readership is a bunch of idiots in need of an idiot's guide?

    Idiots?! Oh well, fair cop ...idiot lizard editorialists scribbling for their idiot emperor-worshipping readership.”

    It has over history been made obvious that Critical Political Theory begets Critical Race Theory......it seems the nature of the world, (cynical/critical cliches do abound these days) but to chastise those virtueless victims as the problem sure is a cynical way to stifle the noble reptile version of debate....who needs social justice?
    We here at NewsCorpse have a world of toxic slogans and bridges to smash to make sure nothing ever has a semblance of changing for the better.
    CA.

    https://youtu.be/bpqjhHmphtU




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "One thing's for sure, we'll get our asphalt laid
      This big machine has run amuck
      And someone somewhere passed the buck
      So keep an ear out for that whistle call
      And duck when you see that wreckin' ball
      "

      Very good, CA, amd yet another I'd not heard =, or of, before. [sigh]. Anyway, si pleased to have been able to finally slip in one of my own :-)

      Delete
  3. Forgot to heap praise on Pope and Rowe.......killing it daily!
    Some totally off topic ,but worth it for the optics.
    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/sep/14/ed-miliband-revels-in-the-humiliation-of-boris-and-his-word-salad?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

    https://twitter.com/Ed_Miliband/status/1305552766019006469?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
    CA.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyway, here's just a little bit more nostalgia:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmPGiCRD2Is
      (apparently her mum claims to actually be part Cherokee).

      Delete
    2. That did cheer me up a bit. The look on BoJo's face tells you all you need to know.

      Excoriation or evisceration?

      It seems to me that both Johnson's Brexit campaign and Trump's presidential campaign were started without either expecting they would be successful. But here we are with the dog having caught the car all it can do is bark loudly and piss on the upholstery.

      Now, best to hide any sharp instruments before viewing this:

      https://twitter.com/DannyEFreeman/status/1305583063599124482

      Tried to think of a comment but all I could manage was fuckwit.

      Delete
    3. The nonchalance is breathtaking alright......”you just watch”
      Fuckwit is right.....he makes Nero look like a genius. CA.

      Delete
  4. So "Where the bloody hell ..." Are we sure killer C isn't just a SloMo bot powered by NS* ?

    And apart from that, what the bloody hell is wrong with Melbourne weather ? Everybody knows the rules by now: "If you don't like Melbourne's weather, just wait 5 minutes and it will change". And just to be at least a teensy bit serious: has nobody ever noticed the footpath dining in Collins St (top end) and Lygon St ? And even parts of Bourke St. Hardware Lane. Outside the Bot Gards kiosk. And sundry small malls and laneways and even beach locations like at St Kilda and outside the Royal Brighton Yacht Club in Middle Brighton? And in the outside dining area at the back of The Glen ? And what about "the World’s Longest Lunch ...1600 guests will sit down for an outdoor feast in Melbourne’s Treasury Gardens." Sheesh.

    But otherwise, what a terrible day, DP. "Donald Trump revs up race to catch Joe Biden" says Cameron. Really ? "Donald Trump has launched a scorched-earth drive to catch his opponent Joe Biden with just seven weeks until the US election, holding his first large indoor rally in months."

    Yep, well after doing his best to kill off a bunch of his base with COVID-19, and breaking the State law as well, I guess that really is a Trump "scorched-earth". Let's hope he stages a whole lot more "large indoor rallies".

    But hold the race-horses a mo', "Litigation is already under way in almost every state over various aspects of the conduct of the 2020 election." says Prof Jackman who is CEO of that "thunk tanque' financed by Turnbull and Murdoch, the USSC. Oh yeah, he'd have it right this time, wouldn't he ?

    And so at long last, we get to The Editorialist. And that pair who are famous for attempting a very badly performed 'hoax' sort of vaguely in the model of Sokal's much better done effort. If you're at all curious, you can read about them here:
    Sokal: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair
    The Three Monkeys (Lindsay, Pluckrose, Boghossian): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grievance_studies_affair

    Or you can just note that it's basically wingnuts and reptiles in favour of the "Grievance studies affair" - including the likes of Paul 'Nullius Ned' Kelly, and wau, isn't that just a 'killer' endorsement ?

    *NS = Natural Stupidity - but you knew that, didn't you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those three obviously had too much time on their hands It all seems a bit bitter and twisted.

      Delete
    2. “But hold the race-horses a mo', "Litigation is already under way in almost every state over various aspects of the conduct of the 2020 election." says Prof Jackman who is CEO of that "thunk tanque' financed by Turnbull and Murdoch, the USSC. Oh yeah, he'd have it right this time, wouldn't he ?”
      Very funny GB......and although I was totally unaware of the relationships, the fact that Jackman starts at around 3/1 and at the end of the article suddenly firm to somewhere around even money I am understanding why Trump is throwing aspersions that Sleepy is using drugs. ........and Roger wants the Donald to declare martial law if he looses. Democracy 101 might end up looking like the Fine Cotton affair as there is no shortage of crooks and liars,.... not to mention vested interests.
      Re Cher’s heritage, while dubious, ...and irrelevant for that matter, as she killed it on her own terms non the less,
      and while speaking of Native American Indians......
      https://youtu.be/iAZy9Rm2cYM
      CA.

      Delete
    3. That's one more - you're racing ahead :-(

      But anyway, it's interesting to consider that those 'indians' on horseback are committing a grave incident of "cultural appropriation" because horses were brought to the Americas by the Spaniards and the ones those chaps were riding were probably the descendants of horses that had escaped or otherwise been liberated by Spaniards in Mexico and/or thereabouts.

      Anyway, talking about 'dubious heritage', then we are all descendants of the 'mitochondrial mum' and the 'y-chromosome dad' aren't we.

      Delete
    4. Hi GB,

      I’m afraid that to be even more PC you could point out that the horses actually existed, along with a lot of other megafauna, in the Americas before the ancestors of ‘Indians’ even arrived.

      For some strange reason, just like in Australia, the giant megafauna had an unfortunate habit of going extinct just about the time when humans turned up, although it might all be climate related.

      At least for the horse, some managed to follow the reverse path of humans and ended up in Eurasia where they were domesticated by steppe dwellers and eventually became a vital part of European warfare. A technological advance that would allow Europeans later to dominate native Americans.

      Weirdly some of the ecosystem that the megafauna of the Americas supported managed to survive, even though their fruit, which was designed for the guts of very large beasts couldn’t be propagated by conventual means.

      http://arnoldia.arboretum.harvard.edu/pdf/articles/2001-61-2-anachronistic-fruits-and-the-ghosts-who-haunt-them.pdf

      Even worse another anachronistic fruit managed to survive excitation.

      https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/why-the-avocado-should-have-gone-the-way-of-the-dodo-4976527/

      Which sadly led to this cry of pain;

      https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/15/australian-millionaire-millennials-avocado-toast-house

      DW

      Delete
    5. Indeed we are GB. .....although my paternal history is a complete mystery lost in the mist of time. Rumour has it that he was a second hand bag and sack merchant of Scottish heritage. :). Most dubious.

      Anyway, it’s all the fault of those marching bloody publicists GB. Should have posted a live clip. :)
      https://www.aaanativearts.com/the-controversy-of-cher-s-heritage.


      @DW.
      Smithsonian link was great, .....including the song.
      Sent it to my daughter who is a teacher. She thought it was fascinating and was most grateful. Cheers.
      CA.

      Delete
    6. Yes, I was aware of the avocado, DW, and the theory that only 'megafauna' had a large enough bum to excrete the pips without major damage. Trouble is, we (or homo saps saps) weren't taking certified historical recordings back then so it's all still a case of some partial evidence and a lot of guesswork.

      Though I do understand that horses came into existence in the Americas about 35 to 56 million years ago - that's the little 'terrier sized' ones adapted to forest life. But E. caballus supposedly evolved in northen America about 1.7 million years ago and migrated around the planet for quite some time afterwards. Long before homo saps saps came into existence.

      But whether or not homo saps saps was responsible for megafauna extictions about 13,000 tears ago is 'complicated'. After all, about 12,000 years ago is when the pleistocene 'ice age' finally ended. So it may be a case of 'not only', but also:
      Aboriginal Australians co-existed with the megafauna for at least 17,000 years
      https://theconversation.com/aboriginal-australians-co-existed-with-the-megafauna-for-at-least-17-000-years-70589

      So I reckon the scientists - and others - will keep on searching and investugating and maybe in a century or two there'll be a 'final version' of it all.

      Delete
  5. Back here in Gertby - any day now, we should expect an announcement from Big Sco about the chocolate ration. It will be on all the telescreens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh they are trying hard to announce things without actually doing anything.

      Mind you, the gas men are still running the flag up the pole at every opportunity. Not so sure the market guys are thinking anything will happen however.

      Delete

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