Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Day 64 of MUC and day 17 of MOC, and as the reptiles keen and moan and wail, beware the calends of July ...

It seems only the Daily Terrorists are doing the right photoshopped thing these days ... still maintaining the juvenile rage...

But it seems half-hearted. What's wrong with Roald Dahl, chocolate, Gene Wilder and even Johnny Depp - apart from his dogs, comical videos and the entire Pirates of the Caribbean series?

It's pretty much a desperate Br'er Rabbit front page, and the reptiles do Malware no favours by trying this kind of beat up...

Up north in the land of the toads, the reptiles have tried a different kind of scare tactic ...

Strange, now we have mutton Dutton in charge, Hanson feels almost like a centrist ...

Meanwhile, the pond was pleased to see that the most abject, awful piece of public television has continued at Lateline ...

Rides shotgun?

Is that code for rides with simpering, silly questions and bad to the bone music?

No link, the pond has ethical considerations when it comes to exposing readers to the meaningless grotesque ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles of Oz are doing their level best to give Bill Shorten a leg up.

The lizard Oz is littered with hand-wringing and anxiety about Malware, with Abbott hovering like a grinning Cheshire cat high up in the tree ...

Now we might expect this of the bromancer, who spends his day worrying why Malware isn't Tony Abbott - for only the squillionth time ...

A big problem is allowing the bromancer to define Malware as ... not being Tony Abbott?

So it seems ...

Let Turnbull be Turnbull by all means, but if he isn't Tony Abbott, what's the point?

Troy Bramston took up the idea and went one better ...

Looking at this line, the pond almost began to suspect that Bramston was a fifth columnist for either Bill Shorten or Tony Abbott, since both would be happy to see Malware go down ...

Troy as a Falangist with a fifth column ready to subvert, infiltrate and betray? 

So it seems ...

Indeed, indeed.

And then you have the fatuous poodle, sounding ever more stupid when daring to speak of technology ...

Mr Pyne, the Minister for Innovation, Science and Industry, said the Coalition's NBN would cost "$30 billion less" and "it will all be finished by 2020, not 2024 as Labor was promising". 
"[People] simply didn't need the speeds that Labor was promising, but it was costing an absolute bomb. Why did the AFP raid Labor offices? We explain whether the election campaign affects the way the AFP operates and the link between the NBN and the Government. 
"You will be able to watch five full-length movies in the same household if you all want to at the same time. "Which is a lot of movies. That's a lot of televisions."
Mr Pyne's rival on the program, Labor shadow infrastructure and transport spokesman Anthony Albanese, responded by saying "the NBN isn't about movies, it's about our economy and how it functions". (here).

Well yes you stupid poodle, it isn't about watching five full-length movies simultaneously, you fatuous, sublimely silly minister for innovation ...

That's a lot of televisions? That's a lot of dumb and dumber ... though it does help explain this story splash in the lizard Oz ...

A government with a minister of innovation who thinks fast broadband is just about giving the punters movies to watch on more televisions?

Why we may as well have the onion muncher back in charge. Take it away Troy, let's have some more subversion and movement of the columns ...

Already the talk of opposition, and mass slaughter in the ranks, and the return of the Messiah?

Abbott as Bob Menzies revanche ...

It's the reason the pond loves the reptiles. It's a complete waste of time, it's meaningless, it's onanistic, but as with chocolate, the pond takes its treats where it finds them ...

Speaking of which, we should also note that the oscillating fan is sounding the same drum this day ...

So we shift from defeat and anarchy on the opposition benches, to a narrow win and anarchy on the government benches ...

Relax, relax, the pond left that bit about the travelling preview - as close to a surrealistic nightmare as can be imagined with "Ned" Kelly, the Oscillating Fan, the Dog Botherer and the Oreo biscuit - but cut off the bit about the cost and the locations and how to sign up ... there's only so much suffering even the pond dare inflict on a stray reader ...

As for that reference to the calends, the pond knows that it's the first of the month, not the second, and that "ides" doesn't apply, because it's not the middle of the month ...(as you can check on this piece about the Roman calendar here).

But somehow, reading the reptiles brooding about Tony "cheshire cat" Abbott, and contemplating the end of Malware, thoughts of ides and Caesar and 'et tu Tony' kept crowding in ...

Of course the closest the oscillating fan dare go in his fifth column activities is to suggest a lack of "partyroom authority" but we all know what that means ... someone's already sharpening his knife ...

But enough of David Low and the night of the long knives, how about another David? 

And speaking of deep questions, why are all the best cartoonists called David? Discuss, and find more Rowe here ...


  1. The problem with Turnbull is he thinks his charisma will get him over the line.

    The problem with Australia is that he might just be correct.

    1. Malware thinks he has "charisma" ? Tell him he's dreaming. But he does have Godwin Grech and NBN and that's enough, isn't it ?

      But really, Merc, if anything gets The Harbourside Mansion Man over the line, for once it won't be the usual Hotelling's Law race to the middle, it'll be that the ALP have to win at least 21 seats, and that's not highly likely.

      Well, not highly likely right now, ...

  2. Fairfax gives more space today to their token RWNJ Peter Reith who complains about "an epidemic of populism" and then delivers a glowing PR puff extolling the wonderful benefits of CSG and excoriating those wicked Socialist farmers who actually think the land might be better used for growing food.

    Surely this is nothing to do with his role as adviser to a Government lobbying firm on behalf of energy and defence interests?

    This conveniently ignores his own addiction to populism considering his role in Workchoices, destruction of the maritime unions and shameful lying in the children overboard affair.

    Fairfax has become a mere re-print service for media releases.

    1. I bumped into him on a tram on St Kilda Road a few months back. He hopped on at the Arts Centre. I looked at him and I said - "you're a fucking creep". We continued the journey in silence and I hopped off at Flinders Street station. At least I hope it was Peter Reith. If it wasn't some poor blighter just had a stranger abusing them yet again.

  3. Personally I don't think either Coalition or Labs will govern on their own. I reckon it's be a hung parliament with the Greens and Indies holding the balance.

    The majors and their minions have underestimated the influence of social media. And of course what the reptiles don't want to realise is their dwindling influence on the vast majority of us who don't buy newspapers, don't bother subscribing to Foxtel and don't give a stuff about what the dinosaurs think. (They went extinct didn't they?)

  4. Turnbull and Arnie are banging on today about "black holes". Seems they have a penchant for African ladies. Have they forgotten dear old Billy Snedden, who "Died on the Job"?

    1. I knew a lovely Ugandan lady who came here as a refugee and subsequently "took our jerbs" . She was a qualified teacher, but couldn't find work with the education department, so showed considerable enterprise by setting up shop offering 'gentleman's entertainment' and advertised herself as "the black hole". Is this what Dutton meant?

      Agile and innovative. And her English covered the essentials.

  5. "[People] simply didn't need the speeds that Labor was promising". And as Bill Gates famously said, no one will ever need more than 640K of memory.

    1. Joe, I just emailed the Poodle to point that out to him.
      I also suggested he might rethink his multiple TV idea. Each evening, here in the workers paradise, our three person household has up to 9 sessions running as we do our daily online chores. "the boy" is the main offender, he has multiple Skype sessions, teaming up with his school mates to do his homework which is another session with his school.
      And sitting here I can see the central Telstra Exhibition St exchange and the local exchange is 500m away....but bloody NBN is promising HFC by end 2018. I could run a cable myself to the exchange.
      Poodle needs to get out more often, or maybe talk to the man who brought teh internet to Australia about innovation.

    2. Thank you Joe, and while Gates might not have said it exactly that way, he exuded the attitude ...

      We've been having fun all morning at the pond chortling about some of those famous listicle bad predictions ...


    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    4. I think Marconi was at least half right - war is ridiculous.

    5. Of course we all remember C Northcote Parkinson's various laws, of which one was: "Work expands to fill the time available".

      Which was perceptively generalized to "The demand upon a resource tends to expand to match the supply of the resource."
      (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson%27s_law ).

      Or, if you really want the short, sharp version: demand always overruns supply.

      So it goes.

    6. Hi Joe,

      "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

      Thomas Watson, president of IBM, 1943

      For more;



    7. The Frinkiac 7


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