In which the pond returns, but only for the entertainment ...

 

The pond decided on a strict rule - so long at it had a cannula in the hand, it wasn't going to waste energy pounding on a keyboard to help the reptiles with their constant, beseeching, screeching need for attention.

Not that the pond wasn't busy. The pond had to cheer on the Musk, just so that the entertainment might continue. What if he invites the Donald back on to the platform, and Truth Social goes down the gurgler? How will all the investors in the snake oil take that?

What if the Donald refuses to come? What if he does come and a horde of neo-Nazis, white supremacists, Tuckyo lovers and wannabe Pelosi killers follow him?

What if Musk spends his days attending to the needs of cat turds? How long's that going to last?

The great thing about enforced time away is that there's a stack of immortal Rowes and infallible Popes to hand ...

And then there was splendid news that Mark Z had taken a bath, without benefit of bath water, and the pond knew it could add Meta and the Metaverse to the Facebook it had never used. And then came news that Instagram was intending to revive the very best features of MySpace, and there might be a new era for html and identifying songs, and how soon can the Meta company buyout drop to a MetaMySpace fire sale $3 million? 

And finally it seems TikTok was interested in using its features to track certain citizens. (All summarised on YouTube in Twitter Sinks, Meta Stinks).

And then there was the Rish. For a moment, it seemed like he'd be playing a straight bat, but the pond sent a Jewish space laser in his direction and leaky Su had a second life ... while in the United States, the sublimate idiocy of Herscel's campaign was boosted by the presence of Miss Lindsey ...

It took a supreme act of will to return to the land of the reptiles and look at what the pond had been deliberately missing for a week. Not once did the pond turn to the lizard Oz in the interim - there was so much better entertainment elsewhere  - but the feeling of nausea returned with astonishing speed and ferocity, thanks to the dog botherer ...

It's just the same old, same old, and the pond would rather be off listening to James O'Brien rant about the Rish in James O’Brien is astounded by Rishi Sunak’s ‘hat-trick’ of ‘hideous’ environmental decisions.

As the dog botherer had started in the usual tiresome way with a header about virtue, the pond felt the need to turn to a Wilcox ...

By golly, how soon can Wilcox send the dog botherer that guernsey. "Proudly cooking our planet"?

Now back to the cooking ... and sure enough all the usual scientific language spews out like a poisoned bowl of spag, with "high priest", "hubris of a zealot," "crusade", "altar", etc, because the dog botherer is no climate scientist, and a fuckwit to boot, and so must always frame science as a religious matter, even as reports come in of the kind Current emissions pledges will lead to catastrophic climate breakdown, says UN.

Dos any of this bother the cocksure, sanctimonious dog botherer? Of course not ...

The pond knows that at some point the dog botherer will drag in talk of nuking the planet, so it thought it might get in early by referencing these lines from the keen Keane in Crikey ...(paywall)

...Peter Dutton confirmed this Republican-like shift in his budget reply. On climate, Dutton is hardening the Coalition’s opposition to real climate action and wants to expand coal and gas.

We need “coal, gas, hydro, hydrogen, nuclear or batteries as an energy source or to store power when renewables aren’t feeding the system. But Labor is going to phase out coal and gas before the new technology has been developed and rolled out,” he claimed. He also accused the government of “ripping up funding” for gas exploration and cancelling gas infrastructure projects, as well as “handing over funding to environmental activists who want to overturn gas project approvals”.

Literally none of these things have happened. The current government is indistinguishable from its predecessor in its enthusiasm for fossil fuels. Like Michelle Landry, Dutton is inventing offence for something that simply didn’t happen.

Dutton’s enthusiasm for nuclear power is like his enthusiasm for carbon capture and storage. It’s the polite form of climate denialism.

It’s no longer quite the done thing to openly reject climate science or claim the whole thing is a hoax if you’re a senior figure in the Coalition. But you can signal that you reject it by talking about the myth of carbon capture, or spruiking the equally mythical “small modular reactors” that are “just around the corner” to provide cheap reliable energy — we just have to keep burning coal and gas while we wait.

That deserves a cartoon ...

And now it's just a matter of waiting until the dog botherer does mutton Dutton nuking the country routine, though the pond thinks that the keen Keane is being exceptionally kind calling it a polite kind of climate science denialism.

There's nothing polite about watching the dog botherer wank in public ...

It's true that there's been a lot of suffering of late ...

An alternative explanation for all the flooding?

Now back to the dog botherer ...

Ah, hairdressing. It's easy to see why the dog botherer would get agitated about hairdressing. What need for that in the manly world of the follicly challenged. 

And as for Teslas, why, we're almost back with that smell of musk, though Pope favoured an FJ when the pond's first vehicle was an FX ...

And now finally  here comes the nuking the country bit, with bonus ABC bashing ...

Meanwhile, in another country ...

And now because the pond is on short rations for its return, there's only a serve of the bomancer to go, but it's a bloody long one, seven gobbets deep and running into a blustery swell ...

Of course we've seen it all before. The new messiah was out and about not so long ago ...

That was celebrated here, but it was short-lived, and it turned out that she wasn't the messiah, she was just a naught girl, but sure enough the Rish now could be the great uniter of our time ...

And then there's leaky Su and not giving a toss about the planet, and the aftershock of Brexit resonating everywhere, except perhaps in the bell that passes for the Bromancer brain...

What joy there was when the pond was watching with fascination ...

The important thing, if you happen to be the bromancer, is to forget all that, wipe it from mind, including the classic fuck-up currently going down in Northern Ireland, and see what can be retrieved from the flames ...

Ah, the Indian sun rises over the empire ... but what could possibly go wrong? It's all gone spiffingly well so far ...

... and leaky Su's there to help tidy up the mess and send the refugees off to Rwanda.... what could possibly go wrong?

Ah, the markets, always the markets, damn you capitalism, and so to a standard bout of climate science denialism ... but perhaps first a Rowson crying in the wilderness ...

And so to fracking getting a fucking over ...

Frankly the pond has every expectation that Rish and his team will lead the country to greater glory ... what a team, what a vision, no re-treads for the FJ here ...

.

.. and so does the bromancer hold out hope for the team...

It would be easy for the pond to trawl back through the bromancer's worshipping of Brexit and of BoJo and all that follies that have follows, but he's going on at such tedious length, that would only add to the suffering ...

Perhaps it's sufficient to note the tragedy of the ABC giving space to this prize loon and his weird fundamentalist tyke take on things ...

Now it feels so long ago, and yet still a fresh, comprehensive fuck-up, and the pond has every confidence that the fucking up, and so the entertainment, will continue ...

And so at last to the final gobbet, but not before a scene-setting final cartoon ...

Oh yes, it's all rich,  in a non-domiciled wife, tax avoiding sort of way ...

The pond ended mildly astonished. The bromancer had started with such certainty, ready to hail the great uniter of our time, only to end with, not a bang, but a whimper, and idle chatter about succeeding against the odds ...

And yet here we are, with an empty Brexit tin on the table, a corpse in view, a monster and a crime scene ...

And as usual, here's the original nightmare for inspiration ...