Yesterday a pond correspondent revealed something about a reptile so shocking and disturbing that the pond still hasn't recovered from its fainting fit.
All this time the pond was living in blissful ignorance, much like those days at Tamworth High before the pond was exposed to one of those educational sex videos featured in The Simpsons ...
But what to do with the traumatic news?
The pond decided to sequester it, quarantine it if you will, deploy an N95 layout, and put it at the bottom of the page ... and meantime bore any passing reader to tears in the usual way...
First thing to note by way of shameless distraction is that shameless Sharri has once again been let loose, and given the top of the tree killer page, as welll as prime space in the digital version, because it's going to be a dirty election campaign by the reptiles, as if we didn't know already ...
Is it passing strange for a truly mean and whacko weird girl be deployed by the reptiles to scribble about mean girls?
After the shocking news the pond had experienced only yesterday, the pond couldn't bear to think about it, though it was pleased to see that yet again the reptiles were lining up to take Clive's cash in the reptile claw ...
No, what was needed was a bout of tedium, and luckily "Ned" was out and about with his natter, and that would put an end to everything, as good as a wave of that stick in Men in Black ...
Note the "poor pitiful me" tone to "Ned's" opus, worthy of a Hank Williams tune.
The pond immediately thought of the people of Ukraine, and one of the pond's favourite quotes. The pond has very little knowledge of cricket, but was told this line when gazing up at a statue of Keith Miller outside the MCG:
Pressure? There is no pressure in Test cricket. Real pressure is when you are flying a Mosquito with a Messerschmitt up your arse.
Just harden the fuck up "Ned" and end the moping and the sighing and the moaning. Real pressure is when a Russian missile is heading to your apartment block, or there's no food, water, gas, electricity, or shelter in sight, and your bug out was the first thing to go down ...
Never mind, back to luxuriating in tedium, so much easier than scuttling to shelter at the sound of a siren ...
Oh sheesh, did the pond just run a plug for his "recent book"? It did, it did, and so there was nothing more to be said than plunge on with the hand wringing and the sighing, because bottom line, poor old SloMo is hurting ... and so "Ned" must feel the pain ...
Oh dear, poor things, but at least the pond got the answer to that question raised not so long ago by petulant Peta ...
Nope, we'd turn to bleating and sighing and moping like nattering "Ned" ... as if the state of the country is all the fault of the Ruskis for bunging on a do.
Presumably Vlad the impaler is responsible for all sorts of things, including the feds' response to the pandemic, and to floods and so on and so forth ...
You know, how can anyone hold a hose while under such pressure, hose-holding apparently being as tough as flying a Mosquito with a Messerschmitt up your arse.
And speaking of pressure, the pond decided another outing was in order before the big reveal ... and here the pond should note that the reptiles were very light on this morning, saving the pond from the ordeal of a late afternoon post ...
A sterling performance by the lizard Oz editorialist to make up the numbers, but the pond turned to Jacko for another distracting word ...
Why was the pond so amused? Well it seems that the US Studies Centre is so desperate for attention it will head behind the reptile paywall, apparently unaware that they're diving into the belly of the beast, into the heart of darkness, helping out the comrades helping out a comrade ...
More at the ABC, while the pond gets back to the fellow traveling attention-seeking ...
Indeed, indeed, but what of quislings and attention seeking fellow travelers, who help out the Murdochians by pretending that the lizard Oz is a rag of substance, as opposed to being a kissing cousin of Faux Noise?
All this blather must be set against Tuckyo Carlson, Cucker if you will, and the Murdochian dalliances with authoritarianism, populism, the GOP and the mango Mussolini ...
Hush now, it would be unseemly for Jacko to note the cuckoo in the nest ... must take the attention where it can be found ...and never mind all the hosts lining up on Faux Noise to falsely insist that fraud cost the mango Mussolini the 2020 election ...
It's not as if it hadn't been noticed on multiple occasions ...
Here, and there's even a part two here ...
Meanwhile, Jacko brought down the house with his comedy stylings, quoting "Ned" excoriating Trump's Australian supporters and proposing they "need to be exposed for their fraudulent apologias" ...
Such sweet loons, who will tell them the calls are coming from inside the house of Murdoch? Who will be exposing News Corp and its hacks and lickspittles for their fraudulent apologias? Not "Ned", and not Jacko ...
Actually the pond looks askance at manifestly stupid people shoring up the lizard Oz, part of a corporation which has manifestly done much to help make the US manifestly less democratic ...
But it's good to see that the United States Study Centre has drawn attention to itself by a bit of fluff gathering and navel gazing, while entirely ignoring the realpolitik foundation of what's been going down in Murdochian la la land ...
And speaking of that, the pond must at last reveal the shocking news delivered by a correspondent, roughly equivalent to that sex information video they showed students at Tamworth High many years ago ... you know the sort ...
Oh the pond can't delay or equivocate any longer ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, simplistic Simon and sweet Bid, and it's been going on for yonks and the pond has been blissfully ignorant and unaware?
There were stories ... and there were tweets ...
Yes, there was the pond thinking that simplistic Simon was just in bed with Scotty from marketing, when he was, in the usual Murdochian way, playing the field ... while all the while purporting to offer objective analysis of the domestic political scene ...
Waiter, the pond can feel another fainting fit coming on, please, a glass of water, or at least a Rowe ... with more salving Rowe not running on empty here ...
"All this blather must be set against Tuckyo Carlson,
ReplyDeleteCucker if you will"
Good one.
He's a gem that one, isn't he. I don't think we benighted Aussies ever had one that good - the nearest I can think of is Alan Jones but he was radio, not tv and he never had a really big audience (which has fallen in a small pile - not even a heap - lately).
DeleteSo Ned spouts: "This war, [Ukraine] may become an election negative for the Morrison government." Oh no, say it isn't so: a just and righteous "khaki campaign" is an election "negative" ? And we aren't even fighting in it, and neither side wears khaki.
ReplyDeleteWell now, Simon Jackman is so important he doesn't even have his own Wikipedia entry. But anyway, what our erstwhile Queenslander had to say was this: "For now, the US and the Biden administration are managing the Ukraine crisis as well as they can, rallying the democratic world with sanctions and military aid." That's the kind of praise that's so faint as to be all but invisible - but still, what would the Bromancer have to say if he was ever so foolish as to read the words of any other reptile.
ReplyDeleteAnd what exactly is the US doing apart from what the Biden administration is doing ? Praising Putin via Tukyo Rose-Carlson ? But what Simplistic Simon really wants to tell us is: "...the US is a house divided and partisan disagreements run deeper than ever measured."
Well gosh, what about that eh ? What a wonderful job Roopie and the Faux Noise reptiles have done for Putin and Xi. And we, of course, are fully committed to obediently serving our suzerain.
From Vox: "It's happened: on Tuesday, [the Ides of March, no less] the US Senate voted unanimously to make daylight saving time permanent beginning in 2023." Well come on, fellow suzerainters, follow our leader !
ReplyDelete