Every festival must come to an end, and so the pond's reptile festival is drawing to a close, and what a dismal failure it has been.
Looking back, as one must do at festivals, keeping scorecards and tabulating results, the high point this day seems to have been prattling Polonius in the morning, raising important spiritual issues ...
But Polonius wasn't in good form - he didn't even mention the lack of conservatives in the ABC, and he failed to berate and lash the ABC, as should be done every day ... preferably with one of those lashes favoured by Opus Dei ...
The result? It'll be a long time before the pond bothers with another reptile festival, and yet duty must be done.
Sad to say, in this circumstance, some reptile must draw the short straw and bring the festival to a close.
Of course in other festivals, there's still excitement, and the honour of closing the festival is much sought after and admired.
But in the pond's case, there was the dog botherer ... talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel, and yet at one moment on the weekend, the dog botherer was top of the reptile page ma ... top of the page ...
The result is bit like ending the festival with a screening of an Ed Wood film. Only cultists wanting to appreciate Johnny Depp in the days when he was an actor could appreciate the depths of the pond's folly.
Take that line "Need any more proof of just how low populist premiers have dragged us?", in the context of Scotty from marketing and a federal ban on flights from India ...
It's like seeing the strings attached to the saucers in Plan 9. Did they have to be that obvious? Did the string pulling have to be that naked?
Apparently so ...
The only upside? Well the festival is wrapping up on Sunday evening, so the chance of anyone seeing the dog botherer is minimal ...
So the festival comes to an end with a loon blaming the premiers, which is odd ... because originally Scotty from marketing thought it was a whizz idea, and then when he got some pushback, discovered it was a really stupid idea.
Blame god, the pond says, She's always wanting to fuck things up ...cf India travel ban falls as Morrison tries to escape the branding of his government as a moral pariah ...
Of course that's just the ABC borrowing Grattan from The Conversation, but whatever ...
Does the dog botherer realise what he's saying about Scotty from marketing? That he's a limp-wristed dickless flop without the balls to stand up to the states ... or perhaps that he's an unseemly opportunist so inept he can never pick the right moment to do the right thing, because unerringly he's both clueless and constantly trying to sell himself as the solution, rather than the problem.
Either way, it's a bit rich to blame the doings of a fuckwit on the state premiers ... but then the dog botherer has never had much imagination ... so it's all the fault of the premiers, even though ...
Actually he'd better hope that 720,000 migrants only read the dog botherer ...
Meanwhile, on another planet, and in another paper ...
Oh enough of that, the pond has used up its free hits, back with the expert dog botherer as epidemiologist, moonlighting from his career as expert climate science denialist...
Well tell that to SloMo ... it wasn't that long ago, with absurd fines and penalties, and everybody in the federal government rushing out to defend it ...
Oh they were all out and about, preening and posturing and posing for camera ... and defending the indefensible and their own failure to make plans, with over a year in hand for the planning ...
Bullshit, all of it ... and yet the best the dog botherer can come up with is this?
Pathetic, and the pond admits shamefacedly, an appropriately pathetic end to a pathetic festival ...
Still it could've been worse ... the pond could have run out of cartoons, the only right and sensible way to end a reptile festival ...
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the weekend festival…
I had high hopes going in that I had had booked a high end glamping experience but I seem to have woken up in a bin bag fashioned in the shape of a yurt and the ‘Mud’ on my feet had the aroma of a sewage farm.
The weekend is all coming back but not in any sort of continuous stream.
It’s hard on the head.
Don’t think about the unthinkable but think about it!?
Is this right?
China will kill us all but just maybe. So spend everything on an existential threat we should never even have to think about because we love America. Anyway China loves our coal and iron ore. Don’t be fooled though they will be bombing Sydney next week. WTF!
Sounds kind of scary but COVID-19 and Climate Change aren’t anything to worry about. Never you care little worrywarts.
I was able to chilax at this point.
Did I come off the downers around then and then threw back a few particularly aggressive uppers?
Why do I have vague memories of being berated by dominatrix who had a fetish about corporate responsibility.
It’s hard to sit down. What the Hell Happened?
And the few times I was compos mentis I seem to have ended up listening to two droning bores going on about a band called ‘Scotty from Marketing’ and that it was the best thing ever!
Although I do kind of vaguely remember that there was some sort of weird religious vibe going on.
I really hope I didn’t sign anything…
Never. Ever. Again!
Anyway till next week.
DiddyWrote
Glad you could find something vaguely appurtenant so say about the Doggy Bov's stream of reptile para-consciousness, DW. I'm still wondering if even he is aware of his own existence.
DeleteBut hey, I guess "being the man who knows everything" is just great, isn't it ?