Warning: the pond has decided to impose a substantial fine and likely as well a severe jail penalty for anyone caught sneaking into a public library to read this blog.
On the other hand, there is a zero chance of this happening, so read away, and take it as yet another example of this blog's deep concern for the fate of Australian citizens.
And so to another logic free zone, the land of the reptiles of Oz ... but quick, before anyone notices the latest SloMo absurdity, what do we have as a distraction?
Yes, yes, any distraction at all will do! Nattering "Ned" blathering on about god and progressives and all that jazz? Sheesh, is that the best we can rustle up? It is? Oh well ...
Now before we get going, the pond should note its personal position, which is the same bemused tolerance that it shows to small children exuding a devoted faith in Santa Claus, the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy.
Whatever floats your boat, and arguably if any of the above deliver the goods, why not have a little faith in them? The bummer comes when some well-meaning loon announces you're too old for that sort of thing, and cuts off the supply chain.
It's a bit like when you're in government, and somebody announces that they expect rational, useful decisions rather than announcing flip flops of the 'fines and jail time magically transforming to zero' kind ...
And so to the distraction ... and heaven help those Australian citizens who thought that one of the benefits of citizenship was the right to return home. That's called a fringe or optional benefit ...
Well, we did want a distraction, and by all the powers of the long absent lord, "Ned's" natter is surely that at ... tedious, prolix, and the usual litany of bullshit, and all of it by way of a well-heeled elitist, bunkered down in corporate HQ in the inner city suburb of Sydney's Surry Hills ...
But what about Australian citizens hoping to return home? Shush, and eat your porridge, and be grateful you're not one of them. Planning for such matters, even given a year's lead time, is simply too onerous and burdensome. What we need instead is something bubbling away, a font of banality, and "Ned" knows how to blather and bubble ...
Oh fucketty fuck, it's so rich, and yet so tedious. The essence of morality is the dignity and value of each and every human being trapped in India and wanting to get home? Where is god? Nope, better ask where is SloMo?
As for "Ned" ... words fail the pond, which is why it resorted to an infallible Pope...
Yes, in that single image, a more scathing indictment than any the pond could manage, and way more than the blather of "Ned" could distract from. Do the reptiles ever listen to themselves? Do they ever read themselves? Do they ever hang their heads in shame?
Nope ... so what else was out and about this day?
Well that's unfortunate ... someone mentioning cricketers in India, though there happens to be a large number of other Australians in India, but perhaps they're Australians with an Indian heritage, so who cares ... just put another pappadam on the barbie in memory of their absence...
Oh that's confronting, that's challenging, must be a different newspaper, another distraction if you please, and quick about it ...
The pond regretted it, but there was no choice but a double whammy of tedium, with Dame Slap out and about ... and sure to deliver another plaintive litany of reptile woes, while ignoring more urgent matters at hand ... because there's nothing like a culture war as a distraction ...
First a spoiler alert.
Dame Slap begins her piece with "Australian culture is becoming a carbon copy of the worst parts of American culture."
How could the pond resist that sort of invitation? How could the pond forget its rituals when it comes to Dame Slap? Come on down, MAGA cap devotee, speaking as we are of the worst parts of American culture ...
And with that reminder of the worst parts of American culture - growing weirder and worser (sic) by the day - it's time to get on with the current Dame Slap culture war litany ... no doubt concerned that young white boys won't be able to grow up one day to become proud IPA warriors ...
Now with the greatest respect, that's nothing up against recent news of an American school ...
5G conspiracy theories odd but inoffensive? Only in America ...
And of course at the very end, it was revealed that the MAGA cap donning Dame Slap and the Centners were birds of a feather ...
Back in Miami, Ms. Centner appeared unbothered. On Friday, she posted on Instagram that she would speak next month at a “freedom-fighting festival” with several conservative political luminaries, including Michael T. Flynn and Roger J. Stone Jr. Its theme: “Reopen America.”
Each day in every way, the United States is beginning to look like a failed state, thanks to the Donald, Faux News, the Murdochs, and those who donned the MAGA cap, and speaking of such creatures, it's back to Dame Slap ...
Yes, the pond realises that Dame Slap begins the next gobbet with "It's high time", which used to be a favourite way of the embittered neighbour in Tamworth who began each round of invective with "it's high time" they gave those sluts a good flogging for their sluttish ways, or "it's high time" we brought back hanging because a flogging's too good for them, and so on and so forth, in the IPA chairman's way ... but now it is high time for Dame Slap's gobbet of chairman goodness ...
What the fuck? That last little outburst is downright weird. The pond routinely moves amongst trans folk, and their main concern is that they don't get the shit beaten out of them by transphobic people spurred on by the likes of Dame Slap ...
Luckily, we've reached the last of this litany, though the pond has to acknowledge that Dame Slap is in fine regressive, luddite form this day ...
No, no, save the tax dollars for the Caterists, and perhaps even the IPA and its chairman. There's only so much Gina's dollar can do, and how right of the lizard Oz to avoid mentioning Dame Slap's other role and other life ... why it's almost as if they're ashamed or embarrassed by it ...
Can you see a mention of the IPA in that 'leetist litany?
Shame on the reptiles! Be out, be proud. Shout from the rooftops that one of your columnists doesn't just don the MAGA cap, she dons the Gina cap, and stands atop one of the country's finest, furtively funded, far right lobby groups ... and when you add it to her list of achievements, along with climate science denialism and such like, perhaps you should provide a picture evoking her deep affinity with working class types, suffering as she does on struggle street ...
Oh enough of all that, time for an immortal Rowe, with more Rowe always on hand here ... and he also hasn't been distracted by culture wars from matters of government ...
Oh my, enlightenment has finally dawned about Dame Slap. It came when I read her saying "It's the same about foisting collective guilt on white, Christian boys, or boys, or any other group." Dame Slap is exhibiting her preferred gender as male ! She's always defending "boys" and other males, always attacking females - especially of the 'feminist' kind - and she really wants to impress us that girls are never, ever collectively shamed for anything which is just so terribly unfair.
ReplyDeleteA bit slow on the uptake, but I think I am finally getting there.
Reading Nullius Ned today was quite strange; it was like reading some kind of weird combination of the Doggy Bov and Dame Slap on one of her mad MAGA cap/"Lord" Monckton rants. What is any rational person to make of this:
ReplyDelete"The 2019 election revealed that attacking Morrison's faith was a failed tactic. Encouraged by a social media pile-on, Bill Shorten tried by daring Morrison to declare 'gay people will not go to hell' - a ploy ALP colleagues warned Shorten against. Labor knows it blundered, but whether it has the discipline to avoid a repetition is debatable."
Whether anybody takes even a milli-micron of notice of Ned isn't debatable: nobody does. Let me just repeat what happened in the 2019 federal election: Labor dropped 1.39 percent of first preferences and the LNP etc lost 0.6 percent of first preferences. After a couple of seats were swapped, the LNP won one single solitary lower house seat They did better in the Senate winning 5 seats (all lost by Labor) but with only 35 out of 76 seats were still a minority.
That's it then, isn't it: if you are a Murdoch reptile, you have absolutely zero commitment to truth, beauty and the Australian way. But old Neddie is really going downhill rapidly; he used to be able to tell much better lies than that.
Looking again at David Pope's contributions to national sanity yesterday and today, I thought 'Is there an honour that the people could advocate for him'. Went to the official 'Australian Honours and Awards' page (and, yes you interfering spell predictor thing - it does have a 'u' in it). The top award - a Knight - hmmm - not a lot issued, but the first went to John Kerr. Don't think Pope would think it an 'honour' if he got one. Next level - AC - listed alphabetically - Tony Abbott, Don Argus, Peter Costello, Alexander Downer - got to Malcolm Fraser and thought - classic case of 'wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member'. Not that there are many cartoonists at any level through the strata of awards.
ReplyDeletePerhaps that might have been better paraphrased as 'wouldn't want to belong to that club if it would have me as a member'. Apology if I needlessly confused anyone.
ReplyDeleteWell your first rendition was pretty close to the original Groucho Marx quote, so all us Goldie Oldies appreciated it, Chad. And no, I wouldn't want to be a member either.
DeletePersonally, I'm oldie enough to have actually caught local replays (at about 3:00am) of a few of Groucho's radio sessions. He was very good, and very acidic. But that was a very long time ago and I've forgotten everything he said.
Morrison claims he’s Pentecostal
ReplyDeleteBut he’s an anthracite apostle
And that’s the major reason Scot’ll
Keep coal exports at full throttle
:-)
DeleteHe gets around like an axalotl
Up and down he'll creep and tottle
His skin unbound begins to mottle
And he carries his spirit in a bottle.
And I think that'll do me, for a lottle.
Excellent GB! There's only a few rhymes for pentecostal and I think we've just about covered them all.
Delete