In which Polonius begins the pond's rapaturous second day of its weekend festival program with a healing laying on of hands...

 

 

 

 

The pond can't help but think, as its weekend reptile festival enters its second day, that we've already seen the best shows ...

Look there, the bromancer with all guns blazing, and a fearless leader ready to send potatoes to war ...

But a festival is more than just one great show, and sometimes it's better to revert to tradition. Only hardy souls get up and about on a Sunday for a reptile screening, but these traditionalists revere prattling "Polonius" ...

Sure, in terms of religious observance, it's like leading off with Hamlet, or at least an attendant lord, or a pathetique Tchaik, but it delivers what every festival needs every so often ... a steady hand firmly grasping what steady hands need to grasp ...

 

 

How the reptiles love to show their speaking in tongues man in communion with his imaginary friend ... and how grateful the pond is for a chance to run its favourite shot of the rapture ...

 

 

Now there's a Matt Gaetz moment.

And so to the Sunday feast, with human flesh and human blood ready for the swallowing ...

 

Ah the sneering secularists... in the Graudian and at Nine, but strangely not at the ABC, which, please allow the pond to remind festival attendees, has not one conservative in its entire ranks ... a matter strangely overlooked in this prayer session by Polonius (does he realise that sneering secularists sometimes sneer at him?)

Never mind, how these sneering secularists mock Scotty from marketing, and yet is he not a human, with human needs and human desires, and above all human loves and passions ...

 

 

What an object for a Sunday worship. It surely beats conventional raptures, and it knocks for six talk of transubstantiation, which everyone outside the Catholic church knows is a heresy certain to lead to an eternity of damnation and hellfire...

And speaking in tongues of damnation, the reptiles felt the need to slip in a photo of former Chairman Rudd looking pole-axed, stricken, as if an idea had entered the old noggin for the first time ...

 

 

Something tells the pond that Polonius is deeply nervous at all this talk of the evil one. Polonius probably isn't familiar with that many movies where the evil one appears, but really, in a reptile festival, he should get with the agenda ...

By golly, the Devil has appeared in some  richly fruity forms to terrorise SloMo and his chums ...

 

 

 

 

Can you really counterbalance talk of Satan with talk of Teddy and a few Jewish Australians? Surely it's a mis-match, surely you need a ham of Al Pacino stature to mingle with the mighty ...

 

 

How about a war with China? Oh wait, that movie's still to play out. 

How about fucking up the virus and the vaccine and leaving the work to the states? 

How about worshipping a lump of coal while fucking the planet with denialism, safe in the knowledge that the rapture will save you from the fucked planet, and the evil one, a double whammy bonus?

How about locking up a hapless family for eternity, and not heeding the parable of the Good Samaritan, or even the injunctions inscribed in treaties signed by democratic Australia?

But then Polonius would see nothing wrong with any of that, being not just because he's something of a timid climate science denialist himself, but because he's entranced by Scotty from marketing ... because the advertising is so compelling...

And so to the last gobbet, and the pond thinks that Polonius has delivered the goods, with a final ravaging of the Ruddster just to add a cherry on top ...

 

Well the pond had a fair contempt for former Chairman Rudd, always standing in front of churches and blathering on about Bonhoeffer and exuding a nauseating piety ... and yet fair dibs ... here's what Polonius spent all that time, energy and effort attempting to defuse, and defend, and otherwise deactivate, disarm, disable and deny ... taking denialism to a new level ...

Scott Morrison has asked a national conference of Christian churches to help him help Australia, while revealing his belief that he and his wife, Jenny, have been called upon to do God’s work.
In video that has emerged of the prime minister speaking at the Australian Christian Churches conference on the Gold Coast last week, Morrison also revealed that he had sought a sign from God while on the 2019 election campaign trail, and that he had practised the evangelical tradition of the “laying-on of hands” while working in the role of prime minister. (A notable secular practice).
He also describes the misuse of social media as the work of “the evil one”, in reference to the Devil, and called on his fellow believers to pray against its corrosive effect on society. (A notable secular stance).
While Australians are familiar with the non-evangelical Christian beliefs of John Howard, Kevin Rudd, Tony Abbott and Malcolm Turnbull, Morrison is the first Pentecostal Christian to hold the office.
Morrison has been open about his faith, inviting journalists into the Horizon church in the Sutherland shire during the 2019 election campaign, and describing his subsequent victory as a “miracle” win. Footage of him calling for prayers for state and territory leaders during the Covid pandemic has also emerged. (Notably secular policy making).
The prime minister travelled to the conference from Sydney using his taxpayer-funded aircraft. (An incredibly secular use of the taxpayer's purse). No video of the address has been promoted on his Facebook or official pages, nor has his office released a copy of his speech, as usually occurs when he is speaking in his official capacity as prime minister. (Because that's what secularists do).
The video, which was broadcast by Vineyard Christian church then distributed by the Rationalist Society, gives rare insight into Morrison’s personal religious practice and the beliefs that guide him and the rapidly growing Pentecostal movement in Australia.
Asking the audience for their help and prayers, Morrison reveals that when he became prime minister, his pastor gave him the advice on election night to “use what God has put in your hands … to do what God has put in your heart”. (Yes, but whatever you do, don't let it get in the road of your secularist heart).
Talking about a difficult time during the final fortnight of the election campaign, Morrison shared a story of asking God for a sign before visiting the Ken Duncan Gallery on the New South Wales Central Coast. (Because a sign from God is a sign of secularist thinking).
“I must admit I was saying to myself, ‘You know, Lord, where are you, where are you? I’d like a reminder if that’s OK,’” Morrison says.
“And there right in front of me was the biggest picture of a soaring eagle that I could imagine and of course the verse hit me. (Don't let it be a verse from a John Denver song).
“The message I got that day was, ‘Scott, you’ve got to run to not grow weary, you’ve got to walk to not grow faint, you’ve got to spread your wings like an eagle to soar like an eagle.’” (Because flapping about is what secularists do).
He told the conference that he and Jenny had been grateful for the “amazing prayers and support” sent from Christians across the country, and shared with the crowd that he had practised the laying on of hands, a Pentecostal tradition of healing and encouragement to faith.
“I’ve been in evacuation centres where people thought I was just giving someone a hug and I was praying, and putting my hands on people … laying hands on them and praying in various situations,” he says, referring to a visit to Kalbarri in the Pilbara in the wake of Cyclone Seroja. (Yes, a tremendously secular path, with the silly gherkins not realising they've been saved by secularism).
“It’s been quite a time, it’s been quite a time, and God has, I believe, been using us in those moments to be able to pride provide some relief and comfort and just some reassurance.
“And we’ll keep doing this for as long as that season is. That’s how we see it. We are called, all of us, for a time and for a season and God would have us use it wisely and for each day I get up and I move ahead there is just one little thing that’s in my head and that is ‘for such a time as this’,” Morrison said in reference to a biblical verse seen as a call to arms for Christian practice. (Indeed, indeed, because daily secularists are called to the service of the lord).
Talking about the importance of community, Morrison also discusses at length the work of the former chief rabbi Jonathan Sacks, praising his book Morality for highlighting the “dignity and value of each and every human being and the responsibilities that they have one to another”. (Except of course if they deserve to be locked up, and the key thrown away).
“He was talking about community and that you can’t replace community with governments, the market, with other institutions; you can’t you can’t replace the family, you can’t replace marriage, you can’t replace the things that are so personal and ingrained and come out of us as individuals with systems of power or systems of capital.
“You know, you cancel out one human being and you cancel community, because community is just human beings that God loves and intended to connect us one to another.
“It’s so important that we continue to reach out and let each and every Australian know that they are important … that they are significant, and as we believe they are created in the image of God, and that in understanding that they can go on a journey that I’m very confident you can take them on, and I’m relying on you to do that because that’s not my job, that’s yours.” (Hallelujah, let everyone knock on secularists' doors in a secularist way).
He also talks about the threats to the sense of community, singling out identity politics as being “corrosive” to society, while suggesting prayers are needed because Facebook can be used by “the evil one” to undermine social cohesion.
“Sure, social media has its virtues and its values and enables us to connect with people in ways we’ve never had before – terrific, terrific – but those weapons can also be used by the evil one and we need to call that out.” (Ah yes, the demonic evil one, no doubt a practitioner of identity politics)
He said identity politics was an “absolutely corrosive” threat to society, which negated the value of the individual while promoting tribalism and misunderstanding.
“If you look at each other not as individuals but as warring tribes you know it’s easy to start disrespecting each other; it’s easy to start not understanding the person across from you.” (Indeed, but don't forget to remind them that if they don't mend their ways, it's eternal damnation and hellfire for them).
He also draws on conversations he had with his father-in-law about his faith when he started dating Jenny as a 16-year-old.
“He’d get very frustrated with me because I wouldn’t answer all the questions and I said, ‘Roy, you know, I can’t fix the world, I can’t save the world, but we both believe in someone who can,’” Morrison said.
“And that’s why I’ve come here for your help tonight, because what you do and what you bring to the life and faith of our country is what it needs.” (Oh yes, "the wicked shall perish and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away).
Early in the speech Morrison also acknowledges “the other members of my band of Christian believers in Canberra”, including “Brother Stuie” – Stuart Robert, the minister for employment.

Well Brother Polonius, it makes for a good Sunday morning festival item, and that's the best that can be said for it, though the pond would rather be in a screening of Elmer Gantry ...

And now, as each festival requires a cartoon (pity we lost the cliffhanger serials), a few cartoons on assorted subjects ...