Say what?
Well everyone knows that the BoM mob is in a deep conspiracy to subvert the alternative reality of the Surry Hills reptiles, but where was the response?
Surely the world's leading climate scientist should have been on the case?
Surely the world's leading climate scientist should have been on the case?
The banks? The BoM conspiracy afoot, and they send out Moorice to deal with the banks? Oh sure, they caught a coal-hating greenie with a cunning EXCLUSIVE …
Caught, deviant coal-denying prevert …
But this CRISIS, this CONSPIRACY, is so far-reaching, so DEEP, it needs more than one EXCLUSIVE, and Moorice has let the reptiles down …
Instead the complacent fools were celebrating the arrival of Ita …
But this CRISIS, this CONSPIRACY, is so far-reaching, so DEEP, it needs more than one EXCLUSIVE, and Moorice has let the reptiles down …
Instead the complacent fools were celebrating the arrival of Ita …
But what if Ita delivers a highly successful ABC, with great ratings, a love of SloMo, and a skew to the right? What if the ABC took over the deep reptile love of coal? Where would be the product differentiation?
What happens to the reptiles' business model then? No wonder they sent out the dog botherer, one of the dumbest reptiles of all, to celebrate the end of the lizard Oz …
Oh would that the insular fool understood what he was saying ...
What happens to the reptiles' business model then? No wonder they sent out the dog botherer, one of the dumbest reptiles of all, to celebrate the end of the lizard Oz …
Oh would that the insular fool understood what he was saying ...
Meanwhile, the Pellist conspiracy was bubbling along nicely, though with an odd juxtaposition …
Hire only the best lawyers, the pond says, and follow the advice of our Henry …
Yes indeed, much more needs to be done, and history speaks to our Henry, it calls to him … we need more than a sacking, we need a burning ...
But enough of this survey of the reptiles, it's time to get serious about world affairs, and who better a guide than the bromancer?
Oh dear, and things were looking so good there for a moment ...
The Donald a democrat? But he loves Kim and he knows Kim would never harm a hair on Otto's head, and besides, the pond really only wanted an excuse to run a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe cartoons running here …
Sadly the bromancer didn't seem to enjoy the show, though it filled in the pond's day nicely ...
The Donald's had a win, and held a reasonable interim strategic bottom line? Cue another Rowe …
Well, the bromancer is another reptile attuned to the way alternative realities can be constructed, and he makes a good start in his final gobbet ...
There is of course no particular reason to read the bromancer, and any other strategy for wasting time will work, which is why the pond turned to the Speccie mob … only to discover that John Anderson was still rabbiting on about Jordan. Why not a three way with Caroline?
The pond sucked up a little of it, jumping in a few paragraphs down, but only because of one punchline …
"Would that"? There's someone who still wanders around saying "would that"?
Oh indeed, indeed, but cruelly in that conversation for Englsh language learners, the "would that" construction was cruelly dismissed as old-fashioned, obsolete or a fossilised idiom …(here).
John Anderson fossilised? Well it might be handy if the reptiles start running short of coal. Oh would that we learned to value our fossilised antiques in a clear-headed way ...
In another forum, here, they had even more fun ...
In another forum, here, they had even more fun ...
Absolutely laughable in 2006? Why that must make it absolutely hysterical in 2019. And so to a final gobbet and an even funnier closer …
"Stand up straight with your shoulders back in the public sphere"?
What colonial outpost does this loon infest?
Come on, Lew! We won't get hurt. Take the fife an' give me the drum. The Old Step for all your blooming' guts are worth! There's a few of our men coming back now. Stand up straight, ye drunken little defaulter. By your right - quick march!"
He slipped the drum-sling over his shoulder, thrust the fife into Lew's hand, stood up straight with his shoulders back - this was the public sphere after all - and the two boys marched out of the cover of the rock into the open, making a hideous hash of the first bars of the "British Grenadiers" …
With apologies to Kipling - the pond confesses to making a few minor improvements - and as for Peterson, the pond gives not a whit, jog, or fig, but does rhetorically moan, oh would that John Anderson went back to the farm and stayed there …
So that instead the pond can relish the news that Mia Freedman is one of the 'fairly unique' brigade that infests the ABC ...
So that instead the pond can relish the news that Mia Freedman is one of the 'fairly unique' brigade that infests the ABC ...
And so to a little technical business, though it's dear to the pond's fairly unique heart.
You see, the onion muncher is in dire peril, the Gatling's jammed, the square is broken, the sand runs red with greenie blood, and the reptiles are fixated on the coming election … and as the onion muncher has stood tall and brave and straight in this blog for many a year, fife and drum in hand, the pond is terrified for his future …
Naturally, being appalled by GetUp, the reptiles are appalled by any similar sort of devious secretive activism on the right ...
Climate change? Absurd, why this past summer has been one of the mildest on record, if only the BoM conspirators would admit it …
Meanwhile, you only have to trust the investigative powers of the reptiles to know they can ferret out any dissident, be they prevert greenie or despicable red. Hand them over to Henry, the pond says, he'll know what to do with them ...
Meanwhile, you only have to trust the investigative powers of the reptiles to know they can ferret out any dissident, be they prevert greenie or despicable red. Hand them over to Henry, the pond says, he'll know what to do with them ...
Oh it's a full-blown conspiracy to take the onion muncher down, all the bells were ringing, and the reptiles also had a break-out box of alarming data …
Why that's about as mystifying as the BoM conspiracy, but reptile Brad was determined to root out and expose the north shore conspiracy.
Would that we had more shoulders back straight reporting of these deviant wretches white-anting, sniping and undermining the noble, almost vanilla, member ...
Please, don't panic. The infallible Pope, recognising the onion muncher's peril, has come up with the perfect job for him in a post-political life, with more employment advice to hand here …
Some of the pond's fondest memories of Canberra involve the bogong …but don't you worry about climate science and one of the mildest summers on record, no thanks to the BoM conspiracy… Decline in bogong moth numbers could have catastrophic effects in the Australian Alps ...
People are realising? Not in reptile la la land, where all they talk of is the BoM conspiracy ...
Never mind, just straighten the shoulders and remember the good old days …oh would that we lived in simpler times, when a moth was a moth, and not some deviant greenie ...
Oh dear.. Maurice the bank lover. Obviously snuggling up to Nicole Flint when she suggested it's all "dangerous bank-bashing".
ReplyDeleteIt's been one of those days, hasn't it. Apart from the warmest start to Autumn in Melbourne for at least 30 years, we have Ita the Whiter as the new Chairpersibling of the ABC. But then, even 5-and-a-bit years of Moorice as Chairman wasn't enough to destroy it or reform it. And even Jonathon Shier had to surrender after a bit less than 2 years as MD.
ReplyDeleteSo what SchMo expects a 77yo Whiter Ita to achieve is anybody's guess. Does Morrison even have the beginning of a clue as to what "return the ABC to the people" might actually mean ? And what about Whiter Ita herself: was she actually an advisor to the ABC miniseries 'Paper Giants' ? Otherwise, who else would have put in the lies about Ita's first hubby that the ABC subsequently had to grovellingly apologise for ?
https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/abc-apology-to-buttroses-exhusband-read-in-court-20120430-1xtu0.html
But oh dear, isn't The Bromancer dissolving away into total irrelevance ? Consider: "There is still a good deal of fantasy in the way Mr Trump talks about North Korea ..."
Yeah, well I think that the vast majority of the world is slowly coming to the realisation that there's a good deal of fantasy in the way Trump talks about everything and everybody. And even more fantasy in how the Bromancer talks about The Donald.
Obviously nobody told Greggie-boi that those who contort their world in order to "normalise" the likes of Trump can only do so by completely de-normalising themselves. But then if Sheridan hasn't worked that out by now, he never will.
But I am so joyful to see Advance Australia take up the cudgels against such a powerful enemy as Zali Steggall. Clearly The Muncher needs every little bit of help he can get, even if it only comes from Moorice's Mooners (aka AA).