What a glorious afternoon it was …and how splendid the line-up … and how stunning for the reptiles …
Oh they were all there, celebrating the onion muncher's latest foray into the fine art of the back-flip …
How lucky we all are that complete shamelessness, mixed with remarkable stupidity, is the hallmark of the onion muncher, and by the greatest good fortune, the long absent lord arranged for the lizard Oz to print the latest thoughts of dear ex-leader today ...
Naturally the pond had to put aside thoughts of prattling Polonius, nattering "Ned" and all the other lizard Oz columnists to contemplate the abandoning of Western values … brave, wonderful values, of the backflipping kind …
At first the pond had thought a few of the reptiles might have noticed, and written a commentary, and wanted to offer them a free T-shirt if they could answer the question on it …
Yes, where's your coal-loving, climate denialist, Paris-rejecting front page hero now?
But there was a silence in the house. Instead of an answer, they had their hero blathering on about the usual assorted nonsense this very day …
It's almost impossible to know because students won't usually tell and their teachers will only reveal what we want to hear?
What a fuckwitted loon he is … only last week, a kindly student informed the pond of what he was studying, and in some detail too, before drifting off to talk off other matters …though the pond got a little lost when the UFC reared its ugly head …
Not to worry, the pond can understand the dangers of postmodernism and relativist thinking, especially avant-garde neoteric irony, and an inability to hold fast to rigorous scientific thinking …
Grab a fruit bat by the tail? 'Fraidy cat, scaredy cat, as they used to say in Tamworth …
Oh that's cruel, and there's more Coorey cruelty here … and because it's such fun the AFR let him out from behind the paywall for a moment …but could anyone be crueller?
Insincere, desperate, as in desperately seeking Tony? But there's Western values right there, and a movie reference for free …
And so on. You can digress some more with Murphy at the Graudian here … but the pond must return to the lecture on western values, including a desperate capacity for fundamentally irreconcilable stupidity …
You see, the onion muncher has heard of vague talk of the long march, but doesn't understand it's Gramsci's long march! Why dashing Kev Donnelly would fail him on the spot …
Forget the blather about marriage and Catholics sharing tales of woe, there's so much more fun to be had …just look below at Steggall looking at the onion muncher, smirking and smarming away.
You can almost see the thought bubble …
Who is this double-dealing, hypocritical, back-stabbing, white-anting, flip-flopping, undermining loon looking like he's swallowed the family cat? Or at least snatched away its cream ...
More high comedy with Grattan at The Conversation here, but the pond must return to all that righteous, tone deaf talk of western values …
Of all the days to come out with this sort of twaddle.
Well if a Liberal student happened to ask the pond what they might do to armour themselves against right-wing stupidity, the last thing the pond would suggest is to avoid hypocrisy, sniping, undermining, wrecking, the back flip, blather about Churchill, and delusions of grandeur …
If you're going to be a Liberal politician in the school of the onion muncher, that sort of long march into irrelevancy and stupidity requires those important skills …
And now for a cartoon, because everyone joined in …
The Golding cartoon turned up in the cawing Crowe's piece for the Nine papers, Tony Abbott's Paris backflip reveals the emptiness of last year's leadership madness …
But the pond needed even more padding so it could slip in some more cartoons, and what better way than to channel the reptiles reporting on the feud that never ends, the feud that won't go away?
Did Malware, the man who totally fucked the NBN with his multiple stupid solutions, just call the onion muncher an innumerate idiot?
By golly, the pond suspects he did …
Where was this Malcolm? But he'd already fucked up the NBN, what else was there to do?
Still, it's surely time to visit the infallible Pope for some guidance on western values … with more guidance here …
Oh that's cruel, but it leaves room for a little more snarking, undermining, white-anting and sniping from the wings …
Sure, there's a little repetition, but the pond could repeat away all day ...
Oh steady on, the position is very favourable, with the onion muncher in Churchill mode, while SloMo has become internationally famous overnight …
Oh yes, the circus is in town, and now the pond just has a few words left about Malware …
And what use was that, a man posing as a tech expert, and showing off is knowledge to the Donald, as if the Donald would remember any advice for longer than a nanosecond, let alone pay heed and follow it …
And what a silly pose, when we remember that Malware had already shown his tech expertise by completely and comprehensively fucking the NBN, and the prospects of broadband in Australia for the next decade ...
Truth to tell, it was just a little padding, a little creating of space, so that the pond could end with the Rowe of the day, with more day-starting Rowe to hand here …
For some reason, the pond was reminded of Marc Chagall's works about the Eiffel tower, featuring red chooks. Bonjour Paris …and watch out for red chooks skiing in the sky ...
Did Chagall also feature cackling geese? Never mind, it'll be back to the usual mob of reptiles on the morrow ...
Man with a long history of quite disturbing and creepy footage of self in public sphere actually distributes one of the weirdest yet - himself.
ReplyDeletehttps://mobile.twitter.com/DavidParis/status/1103959239792287744
Our lovely ScoMo says: he "wants to see women rise, but not if it leaves men worse off."
ReplyDeletehttps://www.sbs.com.au/news/scott-morrison-says-the-rise-of-women-should-not-come-at-the-expense-of-men
Oh, ok then, women can achieve equality but ony if it leaves men still on top. Right, that sorts it.
A laser like insight into the thinking of the contemporary LNP. The very fact that he took a moment on International Women's Day to play to the 2GB listeners of the world to demonstrate that we won't consider even opening the door to equality is a moment that Australians can cherish forever. The dying days of this hapless numpty's turn at the controls of PM's office are looking mediocre in the extreme.
DeleteI read the Onion Muncher will be publishing his speeches. We can sleep easily knowing that Morrison's brain-farts are most unlikely to be revisited.
"History of the English Speaking People" is a disjointed, pointless waffle by a tiresome old blowhard, which contains nothing new or interesting, hopelessly passé before it was even written. Dates and reigns, regurgitating the same old stories by the same old unreliable narrators, ignoring the actual English-speaking people to talk about their French-speaking overlords, Richard Gare de Lyon good, John Lackland bad...blah blah blah.
ReplyDeleteClement Atlee commented, accurately, that it should have been titled "Things in History that Interested Me". It is exactly the sort of history Yeatman and Sellar mock in "1066 and All That", which had been published 25 years before HOTESP came out.
An infantile scrapbook of the doings of the high-ups, so I'm not at all surprised Tony regards it as the second most important book for a young Liberal to read.
For masochists, the first two volumes (from Caesar's raids to the "Glorious Revolution") are out of copyright and can be read here, but you're only wasting your time.
Noted, FD. But then did Tones ever actually read (ie not just skim) either of the publications he's trying to foist on us ? He was a not particularly accomplished Rhodes Scholar, so maybe he tried and, as is usual for him, scored a C-.
DeleteTony is a dick head so what does it take to get a Rhodes scholarship.Surely he has been blinded by his great mentor B A Santamaria.
ReplyDeleteBut being a dick head will not prevent the Murdocracy from supporting him.
Well given that Truffles Turnbull was also a Rhodes, it obviously doesn't take much, ww.
DeleteBut oh, if only Tones had any understanding at all of B.A.S. who at least underwent a significant degree of retroversion in his later years. Abbott, of course, wouldn't have noticed or understood any of that.
You gotta laugh out loud when a right-wing "catholic" bloviates about brain-washing.
ReplyDeleteWhich is of course exactly what old-time "catholic education" was.
In the Guardian today is a wondrous account of how Nabokov's 'Lolita' couldn't get published now because the #MeToo millenials would force it to be banned. Completely ignoring that when it was first trying to be published, 'Lolita' was banned and Nabokov had a tremendous fight to manage to get it published (by a pornography publisher, eventually).
Deletehttps://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/mar/08/nabokovs-lolita-the-latest-thing-millennials-have-apparently-ruined
And that is exactly the way with "The Right" (Catholic and others). They were perfect, they were tolerant, they were idealistic ... whereas, of course they were exactly the opposite. But if your schooling is such that you can comfortably ignore your own past (eg like the murders and massacres of Australian aboriginals carried out by those wonderful, civilised British) and then invent some idealised story of how wonderful you were, and are, then we get "the modern Right".