(Bell doing a little mood setting, with more Bell at the Graudian here).
The pond is slowly recovering from its cable news, late night comics, Donald-inspired addiction, so what a relief it was to discover that the reptiles had sent the bromancer to England, and he was inspired to write a 'fire in the belly' Brexit missive back home …
Oh hear the mighty lion roar …or is that a Lobbecke bulldog, and the pond is confused from the get go?
Splendid news, the bromancer has found a new devout Catholic on whom he can fixate.
Sic transit glorious onion muncher, there's a P. G. Wodehouse lover in town, always willing to forgive Woody for his German indiscretions, knowing he was tricked by the fiendish Huns. Let's face it, you can't trust any of these tricky Europeans. The Dutch playing cricket? What a preposterous notion.
There's no need to get involved with the damned EU, and if that means putting up a decent border on northern Ireland, it's time to get out the bricks and begin the building ...
Truly this is a day for exceptionally positive news, with the colonies definitely ready to join the Poms in a free trade empire …
Sure, in the old days everybody used to ship back raw materials and the Poms made a motza shipping the processed goods back, and these days finance is one of the few British games in town and that might be moving to Europe, but hey, always remember to look at the bright side of life ...
Indeed, indeed, a trade war is going to be a win-win situation for everyone, so why not bung on a do with the neighbours and see how they like it, and that'll teach 'em and oh, hear the British lion roar, and the plucky bulldog give them a nip on the heels, and oh please can we be in the TPP too, and while we're at it teach the moaners and the aristocrats a lesson in good manners and put an end to all these saucy doubts and fears and trust in Nigel and Boris and Moggers ...
Yes, it's time to burn all the bridges and set sail into the unknown, trusting that all will be well ...
And so the reptiles have proudly presented another Catholics R Us story from the bromancer, and the pond is pleased to remind stray readers that more Bell is available here, where it's possible to find this spiffing portrait of the bromancer's new hero, the Mogger himself...
And so the reptiles have proudly presented another Catholics R Us story from the bromancer, and the pond is pleased to remind stray readers that more Bell is available here, where it's possible to find this spiffing portrait of the bromancer's new hero, the Mogger himself...
Oh heck, the pond can't get enough of the good news, and the Donald, and what joy, the Poms have exported the opinions of one Roger Boyes to the reptiles down under ...
The pond suspects that Roger is here being a little unkind. Vietnam worked out tremendously well for the United States and Nixon. There's nothing like simulated insanity to score a great victory …
And so back to the Murdochian business of pumping up the Donald, with the hope that those around will be able to sort him out and set him straight, though the suggestion that he's a loose cannon and perhaps unhinged, shouldn't be interpreted as any kind of chattering class Trumpohobia …
Yes, Pompeo is the latest to set the Donald straight, and provide the surging loins of hope with new seed, though the pond has lost a little situational awareness of all those who've already zipped through the revolving door of optimism ...
Wish John Bolton luck? In which military venture and chicken-hawk bout of sabre rattling?
Not to worry, the pond continues tremendously reassured, with Britain in a fine state, and Pompeo and Bolton organising the Donald, and please Jeeves, can we have a few more cartoons to hand to help with the celebrations …
Boyes: "Nixon in one 18-month period between 1972 and 1973 engineered the end of the Vietnam War ..."
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, sure he did. After having first prolonged it for political gain, that is. [See: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/nixon-prolonged-vietnam-war-for-political-gainand-johnson-knew-about-it-newly-unclassified-tapes-suggest-3595441/ ]
And in any case, what did Nixon's "end" comprise: the Americans running away with their tails between their legs and letting the South Vietnamese cop the fallout. Yay ! Great American military diplomacy.
And: "...opened up China..."
And got an opera written about it by John Adams and Alice Goodman. Wau. think of that. And I still go for 'The Chairman Dances', too. [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvzdstfOlEE for just one rendition ]
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteIt’s becoming ever more difficult to differentiate the cartoon from the real politician.
Sheridan’s pick of Jacob Rees-Mogg to discuss the intricacies of Brexit is a doozy. Rees-Mogg is such a caricature of the sort of Eton educated, landed gentry toff he would scarcely seem credible even in the pages of a PG Wodehouse novel.
His father William Rees-Mogg was once editor of The Times through the seventies and was kept on as a rambling space filler (much like the editor at length ‘Ned’ Kelly) even after senility had well and truly set in.
The younger Rees-Mogg is so far removed from the realities of modern Britain that in his first attempt at office he found the constituents of the Scottish seat of Central Fife were unintelligible whilst he canvassed the area with his nanny in a Bentley (he refutes this, evidently it was Mercedes).
His sister is called Annunziata FFS.
Trump, Abbott, Joyce, Boris Johnson, Farage, Hanson and now Rees-Mogg its like a cartoon franchise has taken over politics.
Marvel’s Infinity War had more rounded out characters.
DiddyWrote
Our Greg seems to think he's some kind of politico-journalistic paladin these days: have Right Wing opinions, will travel !
DeleteLet us never forget that one of the joys of the fiction of P G Wodehouse was that it and the readers were always fully aware of the complete and utter uselessness of the toffs and twerps that peopled its pages. Amusing, yes, but completely incapable of making any useful contribution to society. There's a good reason why Bertie Wooster's club was called "The Drones".
ReplyDeleteFrankly, the only Wodehouse character who would really fit in with the modern Conservative Party would be Roderick Spode.
Rees-Mogg the Younger may seem a harmless twit (and having seen him on TV several times, he plays the Young Fogey role to perfection), but the trouble with adopting a pre-WW1 world-view is that, unfortunately, we're in the 21st Century and vague fantasies of "We can just forget about those ghastly foreigners and start living off the Empire again" are just that - pure whimsey. He also may have made a few quid but in political terms he's just another backbencher with zero Ministerial experience (and UK Governments have umpteen Ministers and Junior Ministers).
But hey, he's a reactionary Catholic in a nice suit who will politely condescend share a cuppa with a hick from the Dominions, and that's enough to send the Bromancer into raptures.....