After the pond had managed to stem the copious flood of tears at Petey boy's moving message, it looked around for other urgent reptile business.
Sad to say, with all the leaks and the hints, the reptiles weren't terribly excited about the budget, and many were already speculating about the date of the election, or off on important social media tips …such as how to look grumpy online ...
Well it's not Lloydie's octopi from outer space, and what a grump that Peter Walker is …the reptiles just wanted to stop people smiling online, and they certainly succeeded with him …
And so to the main feature, and the pond was aghast and astonished that on this day the reptiles would feature this at the top of the digital page …
Oh sheesh, on budget day, there's Troy doing a sackcloth and ashes routine for suffering politicians?
How useless and irrelevant can the reptiles get?
Oh dear, the poor suffering things … but that bit about the million dollar flagpole being blocked off …
(ABC here)
… somebody should tell the aph site, still offering quaint advice ...
The flag mast is the main focal point of the Parliamentary Triangle and you can walk directly under it when you explore Parliament House's grass roof. (here)
They update things slowly in aph...
As for the rest, after crying a river, the pond felt like telling Troy and the pollies to just harden the fuck up. They get more than forty bucks a day for their trips to Canberra, and if any pollie thinks that parliament house is a slum, they're welcome to work out of the pond's hovel, and the pond will take over their seat …
Sheesh, on a good day, the reptiles would have launched a full-on frontal assault on this sort of cry-baby moaning and whining and yearning for the good old days ...
As for the rest, after crying a river, the pond felt like telling Troy and the pollies to just harden the fuck up. They get more than forty bucks a day for their trips to Canberra, and if any pollie thinks that parliament house is a slum, they're welcome to work out of the pond's hovel, and the pond will take over their seat …
Sheesh, on a good day, the reptiles would have launched a full-on frontal assault on this sort of cry-baby moaning and whining and yearning for the good old days ...
Uh huh, we've been there before ...
The pond can't count the number of times it's read whines and moans about parliament house, Canberra, the suffering of politicians, the terribly hard times they endure, and all the rest of it, and the pond has to stop itself from shouting over and over 'oh just harden the fuck up'…
What set Troy off this time? Well likely it was Tim Hammond's decision to give the game away, but that had only made the pond wonder why he'd wanted to get on the field in the first place.
It's not as if the job description wasn't freely available.
It doesn't matter where a federal parliament is located, the size of the country will always create travel issues, and it wouldn't matter if, back in the day, it had been positioned in Melbourne, Sydney, Alice Springs or Woop Woop …
And it doesn't matter where you locate parliament house in the town, Canberra isn't going to be treated with much affection by those FIFO workers who might want to be elsewhere …
But that's just life for many working Australians, and there are many worse places to live. You want cold? Try relocating with Barners to Armidale …(oh we love the town, we really do).
Yes, there's inhuman suffering …we can't all stay at the Hyatt, though the pond confesses to having enjoyed its stays back in the pub's cane chair days … and to not minding endless visits to Canberra, since it seemed more like a junket than a chore ...
What's the bet that Troy ends by making an urgent plea for the pollies to be able to spend money on a lavish re-fit? You know, new curtains, new floors and a new look does so much for the mood ...
Well no, Guy Fawkes set himself up for this …
Why was the usually benign and caring pond feeling so unsympathetic?
Could it be because this sobbing and keening came only a few days after that other epic story at the Graudian here?
Let's face it, you're going to have a hard sell job explaining the suffering of politicians when the pollies are telling young people to go eat cake ...
Stick politicians visiting Canberra in a backpacker hostel, the pond says, and let them go dumpster diving for their food, and then let's have a chat about the rigours of spending a little time in Canberra and working in the mansion up on the hill …
And now with that bit of unpleasantness over, it's time to get on with the show and the red carpet, celebrated by the Pope here …
Julia Banks is my local MP.
ReplyDeleteThey say people get the government they deserve, but I simply cannot imagine what I could possibly have done to deserve her. Another than, perhaps, to live amongst a bunch of yobs who do deserve her.