The pond's heart sank. First the noble Spectator and its massive 8,000 subscribers down under in trouble, and now, according to nattering "Ned", the Liberals sinking deeper into the valley of despair, the trough of despond, the mugwump of murky madness ...
Of course the pond knew what "Ned" meant to say ..."Ned" sinks deeper into despair, the reptiles of Oz are in a blind funk, everywhere there's despair, a keening, a wailing and a moaning, a renting of garments, a donning of sackcloth, a tossing of ashes ...
Just how deep is this valley of despair?
Oh not the devouring of its own, not the full Goya!
It seems it's everywhere... over in the Terror this day, there was even more despair at the entire pointlessness of life ... and incidentally Malware ...
Epic disappointment in the vale of tears ... but just how serious is this existential ennui?
Well it's so serious that poor old nattering "Ned" wasn't his usual self and could only splutter for a few more pars ...
Not even an extended, detailed bout of hand-wringing from nattering "Ned"!
Not the usual endless burbling from the babbling brook, but just a few metres meet!
Not the usual endless burbling from the babbling brook, but just a few metres meet!
This is indeed a true existential crisis, and the pond could see signs of it everywhere. Just look at the front page of the tree killer and digital lizard Oz this day ...
Say what? A cancer? The prognosis is doom and then death ...
And suddenly the reptiles are quoting the former Chairman as if that narcissist had the first clue?
Have they gone mad, is it not just a cancer, but a kind of dementia of the sort that afflicts the elderly and the pond?
Was it only yesterday that the dog botherer was mocking the former Chairman and his ongoing brazen attempts to rehabilitate himself, with the shameless former Chairman somehow pretending that his behaviour towards Gillard was not ineradicable and contemptible? We should forget all the leaking and the naked lying about it, and the backstabbing and the bitterness and outrage, and now help sell his book?
Well yes, yesterday there was a counterview. That snap looks like a selfie and the inserted dog botherer was in full howling at the Ruddster mode and all was well in the land, or at least at the lizard Oz ... and there was no sale of the huckster to the reptiles, and certainly no quoting him alongside Little Johnny, a notion that would once have reeked of heresy, of elevating Luther to stand alongside the Pope...
And yet the very next day, the sounds of that Moving Pictures song began to sound even in the dog botherer ...
And yet the very next day, the sounds of that Moving Pictures song began to sound even in the dog botherer ...
He's been waitin' down there
Waiting half the day
We never ever see him from the top
He gets pushed around
Knocked to the ground
That comrade Bill gets away with murder
And he gets to his feet and he types
What about me
It isn't fair
How come comrade Bill gets my share?
Or some such. Perhaps in its dotage the pond has misremembered the words ... but look how the reptiles this day sing of murder most foul ... or at least foul headaches in need of an opiod ...
With nattering "Ned" in such despair - and in such a small portion too - naturally the pond had to plunge into the dog botherer's slough of despond ...
He lasted two days? And now we will wake up with sore heads and comrade Bill as PM?
Oh the pond knows that the dog botherer typed "we will wake up", but he was merely using the royal "we", as befits a person who is royally up himself and thinks he speaks for everyone ...
Please, let this royal suffering continue unabated ...
Indeed, indeed. It's so unfair. A mining magnate brazenly, shamelessly, attempts to bribe a minister of the crown with a public gift-giving and poor old Barners is forced to take the cheque, for fear of embarrassing dear sweet friends...
And what happens?
The wretched comrade Bill goes and makes a cheap fuss about it, and the dog botherer has to sing on behalf of Barners ...
What about me
It isn't fair
Gina just wants to share
I've got a farm to repair
So how come comrade Bill gets my share?
But as with all good things, there's only so much bemoaning and complaining and whining and whingeing that can be done, and soon enough the dog botherer knows who to blame ...
Yes, as the Fairfaxians slide off into irrelevance, it's clear who's responsible for this shocking state of affairs ... the Murdochians who stick loyally to their tree killer business plan and so produce an imbalance of scrutiny and a lack of reasonable standards ...
But in this dismal decade of reptile reporting, faithfully tracked by the loyal pond, there are occasional bright moments, gleaming signs of light and hope in the reptile gloom ...
In those times, the pond occasionally felt that the only reason for the reptiles to exist and be recycled by the loyal pond was so the pond might attach a cartoon by Rowe or Pope or some other dedicated, underpaid cartoonist deserving of a Gina cheque, but possibly with the good sense not to take it...
And now ...
Yes, the reliably brilliant Rowe - you can find him here - has been crowned ... as you can find at the aptly acronymed MAD twittering here ...
Oh the pond knows they tried to soften the blow with MoAD, but sorry, MAD it has been, and MAD it will stay ...
And MAD's "Behind the Lines" is now an essential regular pleasure, with this year and the preceding years from 2011 to 2016 here, and Rowe at the heart of this year's three ring circus ...
And so nattering "Ned" and the dog botherer and all the other reptiles don't suffer in vain in their vale of tears ... as they become grist for the cartoon mill ...
Funny old load of tosh isn't it? They seem to be at the point where the attempts at obfuscation just draw more attention to the issues. I think that is what happened with the SSM issues - all but the dullest voters eventually become desensitised to the vague fears & unspecified dangers when they fail to materialise. My detailed survey of barbers shops & retired neighbours suggested the likes of Abbott had lost all street cred. It will work again at some point but will probably need new faces.
ReplyDeleteI particularly liked Rover's statement that Abbott 'trailed in the polls but was on the right side of significant policy battles'. Like a budgetary policy that reduced the most vulnerable members of society to penury? A media policy that consisted of practical and rhetorical support for News Limited? The whiff of yet another war? Imperial honours for the Imperator?
ReplyDeleteYep, it's quite contra-rational just what wingnuts - of all persuasions - can persuade themselves to believe - or at least to spin.
DeleteJust today, for instance, Shanners the Bouffant was quoting the joint Rudd and Howard line that: "Immature careerists are ruining good governance." and showing a portrait of Julia Gillard who, on a quantity and quality of legislation basis, clearly outshone both of them.
But then she's obviously a Green-Left cultural Marxist whereas they are both as pure as the evening air in Delhi. And two of the most immature low-governance careerists that we've ever had to put up with.
Now, with the governance business attended to, I just have to slip this in: today in a favoured lieu de cafe reading some comments in the HairOiled Scum, I came upon this:
"When cars are all self-drive vehicles controlled by computers, there won't be any road rule violations any more. So what will the government do for revenue ?"
Hmm ?