In which, thanks to the Daily Terror, the pond goes blonde on blonde ...

The excellent thing about the pond having a hissy fit with the Caterists is that there's always another Murdochian reptile ready to catch the eye, and as the pond has always favoured any port in a storm, what better port than Caroline Marcus?

Now the pond hesitates to note, in the Donald's or Dylan's inimitable style, that Marcus seems to be blonde, but what the heck, she is blonde ... blonde on blonde ...

Why is it that blondes insist on reinforcing pond stereotypes?

Never mind, mindless is as mindless scribbles, and this, even for the tabloid Terrorists, was a truly mindless effort which loiters at a locale that the reptiles chose to call "RendezView" without a hint of irony and only a shred of English on view...

Oh fuckety fuck, fuck ... this at least explains why the pond has never once, not in its life, watched an episode of A Current Affair from beginning to end, and never will ...

Even getting through this bit of lightweight fluff is worse than munching on one of the pond's mother's sponges (only the cream and the jam added a sense of gravitas to the flour and the sugar) ...

Dear sweet absent lord, now we're into a celebrity showdown?

Well between Bruce Springsteen and Donald's line-up of celebrities, the pond knows where to turn for a complete absent of political correctness and absolute fuckwittedness and, it has to be said, a complete lack of useful musicality too ...

Yes, the music sounds just like a guitar made out of flags.

And that's just the beginning of the cavalcade of clowns, drop kicks and losers ... can anyone name these three contenders on call for the Donald?

And what about this blast from the past?

Dear sweet long absent lord, the pond hasn't thought about Wayne Newton for at least a century. Let us never speak of him again ...

And what about this warrior?

The Donald even ended up with the lesser Baldwin ...

And in terms of the bimbo stakes, the Donald is definitely behind the 8 ball... surprising, when you consider how excellent he is at groping ...

We just had to fling them altogether in an Eisensteinian montage so we could get back to the deep thinker ...

Well with that level of tabloid journalism, we don't have to wonder about whether Caroline Marcus is hurting the image of the Donald. 

In fact we don't have to wonder or think about anything at all, because someone reduced to scribbling about a few lyrics surely has reached a Zen condition of pure mindlessness ...

In keeping with the ambience and the zeitgeist, the pond decided to sample a few comments, to see what sort of loons came out of the Terror closet ...

Oh Alistair, Alistair, you win, you win. 

It's the United States, it's full of celebrities, who are all famous, at least in their own lunchtime, and who act as groupies or attract their fair share of groupies. It's the Hollywood way.

That's how a reality show TV star, with absolutely no qualifications, can run for the POTUS, and why Caroline Marcus is reduced to blonde on blonde scribbling about a few lyrics ...

She doesn't have the wit to think about what the writer of the Donald's Art of the Deal had to say about him ... but thank the long absent lord, Donald Trump's Ghostwriter Tells All is outside The New Yorker paywall at the moment, so the pond can revive fond memories of at least one decent read ...

Yes Alistair, there's not only groupies, there's ghost writers ...

Here have a few more deep-thinking US celebrities, you know the man who loves North Korean dictators, and a man who hasn't made a good movie in a very long time, and thank the long absent lord, it'll soon be over, and the pond can return to the Caterists ...

Oh let it go away soon ... and the pond swears it will never watch the Nine network again if that's all it takes to make it stop ...