In which the pond does a song and a dance with the Donald, the major Mitchell, and the sadly silenced Leak and Bolter ...

As a site dedicated to entertainment, it would be remiss of the pond not to start with the greatest reality TV show on earth thanks to the AV Club (at least until Endemol/Shine come up with the next one, damn you Dutch folk, damn you all to television hell) ...

No need to contemplate serious reptile analysis ...

Oh dear dull Henry "hole in the bucket" Ergas, just forget it, feel the fun of the tweet and the ones that were judged not worthy of deleting...

Lordy, dear long absent lordy, did that produce a twitter war or what?

But enough entertainment, it's time for some serious reptile reflections, and frankly there's nothing better for the pond on a Monday than to lay back and enjoy the thoughts of one of the world's greatest editors, at least in his own long lunch time, and nonpareil, simply the best Order of Lenin hunter that there has ever, ever been ...

Yes, it's time to be dazzled by the bright plumage of the major Mitchell bird ...

Spoiler alert ... according to the ineffable bird, nobody knew, especially the reptiles of Oz, that Aboriginal communities had difficulties ... until the reptiles published this cartoon ...

Yep, nobody knew anything until the visionary cartoonist came along ...

Further, things simply won't get better for pesky, difficult blacks, unless Bill Leak is allowed to go on with his black bashing and demonising cartoons ...

It's that simple folks, like a simple Donald tweet, at least in the land of the simplistic, simpleton, and simple-minded ... 

And now having said in a few words what the major Mitchell takes hours to squawk, it's on with the squawking ...

Oh and the corollary in all this is that Andrew Bolt has been silenced ...

And so to discuss what can't ever be discussed ...

Yes, it can't be discussed, yet somehow it can be discussed, and black bashing can proceed, especially if they're not proper darkies ...

Damn you, rorters pretending to be black, because let's face it, there's nothing more advantageous than to pretend to be black in Australia. 

Why think of all the privileges and preferences you get. It would take the pond and major Mitchell hours and hours to explain just what a boondoggle it is to be black in Australia ...

And as a bonus, Bill Leak will draw comical cartoons about you, and the Bolter will spend hours and hours haranguing you with hate speech, and that will set the major Mitchell to squawking for year after year, along with an odd sip on the sauce bottle...

You couldn't spot the difference?

Better luck next week as we head off to the final squawk ...

And so it came to pass, and thanks to Andrew Bolt and Bill Leak, Aboriginal communities were magically transformed and made better and no one spoke of 18C again ...

All due to the power of a humble cartoonist, a screeching Bolter,  the reptiles of Oz and that magnificent major Mitchell Order of Lenin hunting bird ...

And if you believe that, you'll no doubt be looking forward to all the pressies Santa Claus is bringing you from the North Pole ...

And so to a final entertainment, for which a price must be paid ...

Now it's true that cartoon at the front of Rowe's calendar might just as easily have featured a flock of Major Mitchells or a gathering of Andrew Bolt galahs, but play fair and head off to David Rowe's twitter account here for more details and for more cartoons like this one ... you might, on special application, be able to buy one of those prized mutton Dutton "bugger orf" welcome mats ...