In which the pond prepares for the rise of the Harvard elites, thanks to the Oreo being on the syllabi ...

For a moment there yesterday, the pond was traumatised. 

No Oreo! 

No Oreo?!

Why it was worse than not having a cinnamon-coated doughnut, or a burger dripping salt and heart-wrenching grease ...

What would the pond do without its daily rant about the neo-Marxists undermining western crusading civilisation?

Luckily the Oreo came through today, and the anxieties disappeared in a nanosecond trice, though the beguiling splashes heralding the piece seemed to indicate some sort of warning, some sort of need to prep the bug out for the rise of the populists (remember meals of canned tomatoes and rice can keep anyone alive in the bug house for months).

But hang on, hasn't the Oreo been welcoming of the Donald and seen in him the swamp-draining future? 

Shouldn't her piece have been headed "All welcome the rise of the populists and all heil the new Donalds slouching towards Canberra"?

Splendid stuff. Where else could you read that the onion muncher was an avant-gardist? 

Will someone please amend the wiki on the avant-garde to include this momentous transformational news? Or at least tell the dictionary we've arrived in the time of post-truth word use ...

Now it goes without saying that the Oreo would be overjoyed to see a new Mussolini strut his bantam-cock walk and bring peace to the likes of Ethiopia, spreading western civilisation and its benefits into darkest Africa, but there's a line coming up in the next Oreo gobbet which might catch the unaware very unaware ...

It runs "I can't speak for all workers in the private sector ..."

Let's set aside the sublime modesty, the infinite humbleness of the Oreo, because there's probably some people who've come late to the story and wondered what the Oreo actually does for a living, apart from scribble for the reptiles ...

Well her personal listing once upon a time made a few bold claims ...

"Acclaimed as one of the top ten smartest people in Australian universities..."

Unfortunately that led to a lot of idle rascals and scallywag larrikins having a mockery feast ...

Oh it was on for young and old, as the time wasters twiddled their thumbs and wasted time, and it was all far too cruel ...

But, but, but, Billy goat and Mark Twain, the pond needs its weekly Oreo. 

Of course if anyone happened to follow the "about me" Oreo link embedded in the Carlton tweet - there's much more comical Carlton tweeting here - they would now stumble on a sadder, wiser, and much more humble - most infinitely and uniquely humble - Oreo here ...

It seems she's no longer the brightest of the bright, the shining 'leet amongst the ordinary 'leet - well who would want to be in these populist times - though that listing still doesn't answer the question of what she actually might be usefully contributing to society, as opposed to being a gadfly on the rump of the reptiles of Oz ...

Sadly her personal site doesn't provide an answer either ...

Pathetic really, and verging on tragedy, if only tragedy also applied to donkeys, clowns, gravediggers and Yorick ...

The pond apologises for the lengthy digression, though it reminds the pond that it is routinely "acclaimed as one of the top ten smartest blogs in Australian blogging." 

Sure, it was the pond's partner wot said it, and only the Bolter and little Timmie Bleagh were allowed as competition, but it's the thought that counts ...

And speaking of thoughts, it's time for a woman boasting about being on the syllabi of all sorts of elite educational and black helicopter world government institutions to start draining the swamp of its stupidity, and boastful preening narcissist lies ...

Yes, yes, of course, the red-head is a populist, but isn't a popular populist, while the onion muncher, the pastie hastie, the mutton dutton, and the bestial Cory are all incredibly popular ...

You see how it works? Populism is all the go, so anyone within cooee that's barking mad must be a populist.

And that's why Harvard and the UN has the Oreo at the top of its elitist syllabi ...

Is there any wonder the pond insists on its weekly Oreo?

And now, since the subject of the mutton Dutton, down as deep in the gutter as anyone can manage to get, peddling the hate as if born to the style, has been raised, the pond couldn't help but marvel at little Troy doing a Noel Pearson and lashing out. 

Pearson might have chosen to lash out at the reptiles of Oz, but naturally he chose the ABC, because that's a soft target, and who knows what the reptiles might have done to their favoured inhouse pet if he'd launched an attack on them ...

Troy seemed to think that calling someone a Trumpist was an insult on the low political road:

Lord knows where Troy has been dwelling these past few months as Fox News, the Murdochians and the Republicans went about their business ...

Never mind, but if Shorten is Trump-lite - and his performance on 457 has been disgraceful, at least if you have an interest in IT - what does that make the mutton Dutton? Can we think of a Trump term, Troy? 

Trump-heavy? Trump-elephantine? 

As always, the pond prefers to get its answer not from a reptile column by a twerp, but from an excellent cartoonist, with more excellent cartoons and a calendar to hock here ...