The pond routinely wakes up in this morning, as it did this day, with silly people on RN saying stupid things about the US election in their 'very unique' way (the pond must do a silent, very unique scream at least once a day thanks to the ABC's abuse of the English language).
Please, it is entirely possible to lose the popular vote in the United States presidential race, and yet win the Electoral College votes required to win the presidency. It's rare enough, (watch out for walri), but George W. Bush showed how to do it, albeit with the aid of the Supreme Court.
As a result, nation-wide polling might indicate trends - though even here, with the singular and inept ways of American polling, it pays to be cautious - but it is the voting in particular swing states that tells the more interesting story. The pond realises that the cardigan-wearers are terrified that the Donald might win, but this is no excuse for sounding like an hysterical News Corp tabloid or broadsheet wanting to spook the markets.
Never mind, the pond immediately switched off RN, and speaking of the reptiles, as the pond must, there were many other excellent distractions to be found.
The pond must report with deep regret that the reptiles are befuddled, confused and depressed. Savva is in a sulk ...
The editorialist was also perplexed ... after all Malware had rushed off to fix the Senate, and he really did fix it ...
Naturally the reptiles tried to press on with business as usual, moaning, whimpering and whining about an issue which interests very few people at large, but which is of inordinate interest to the reptiles ...
Oh dear, another shambles, and then coming up at the rear, the tirelessly tiresome Bettina blathering on her usual bizarre way ...
Confronted with this abundance of riches, the pond had only one obvious choice, one that didn't require a segue or a pivot, but kept it in good old Mississippi enjoying the McConaissance in Free State of Jones ...
Well not quite, but close enough, it's the bromancer, running wild and free ...
Now the bromancer, and the reptiles, seem to be a tad worried about their American buddies and kissing corporate cousins at Fox News, the WSJ and the New York Post etc have wrought, but the challenge for the pond is to find one really nice gem in all the bromancer iron pyrites dross ...
Now the pond loves listicles, but can we just intrude to note that in the very first par, the bromancer was clearly doing an audition to host an RN show.
Genuine, actual, certifiable Clinton scandals - as opposed to those beaten up by far right hysterics, GOPers and Murdochians - don't amount to a "hundred real scandals".
And the majority of the scandals involve the other Clinton, the cock-flashing one, which is a bit like holding the wife of Weiner responsible for the flashing of the weiner ... (dear long absent lord, hasn't that documentary about Weiner set in the NY mayoral election taken on fresh resonance? Haven't the resulting comedy stylings been excellent?)
So right there, at the very beginning, the bromancer offered the sort of loose exaggeration that the pond has discovered is a feature of US cable news, with added lots of shouting (it wasn't a hundred scandals, I'm telling you it bloody was, it bloody wasn't, it bloody was, though the US pundits lack the wit or the imagination or the cultural riches to use 'bloody' in a proper way).
But now let's get back to the listicle and the hunt for gems ...
Indeed, indeed, and as usual the bromancer rewards the pond with his "literally inconceivable".
Let us not dwell on the way that Niki Savva is married to Vince Woolcock, a Liberal political staffer in the office of the Prime Minister ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, how the pond loves Trove, and yet, Malware and his chums are starving for funds one of the great Australian digital institutions ...
How about a bum-patting joke?
And so on, but where were we? The pond has drifted off, as if zapped by alien lizard reptiles ...
Forget Savva, and while thinking about the literally inconceivable, let us instead contemplate the headlines which have been going down about the literally inconceivable in the past few days ...
Well at least that's literally conceivable, and the story is easily googled. Presumably the bromancer knows how to google ... and not just goggle ...
And luckily, just as the pond gets all its American political news from US comedy shows, so it gets all its Australian political news from cartoonists, and the infallible Pope scores big by joining Alice to Malware ...
More infallible Popery here, how the pond loves him, but as things get curiouser and curiouser, here's an excellent Rowe (and as always more excellent Rowe featuring demonic figures at the window here).
And for those wanting to jog their memory about section 44, it can be found at another invaluable digital resource here ...
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