In which the pond spends some quality time with the deplorable prattling Polonius ...

Already the Murdochians are rapt and eager for the end times, but the pond feels compelled to raise a technical point with the reptiles of the Daily Terror ...

The Donald has hit the ground tweeting ...

Yes, it's 100 tweets to change the world, and a pumped Trump hits the ground tweeting about the deplorables ... from "very unfair" to "love the fact" in a heartbeat of twittering stupidity ...

Now some thought these were classic examples of a lying fraudulent megalomaniac at work, but the pond took it as a good sign. 

You see, the Donald has shown a great tolerance - he's discovered a tremendous amount of chemistry with an Islamic Kenyan!

Happily for masochists - and sadists - Slate put together All of Donald Trump's Birther Tweets ...but what a good sign he's found chemistry with an Islamic and his wife has bonded with the woman she stole words from ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles of Oz are in a frenzy ...

Oh dear sweet long absent lord, there has to be one mindless fuckwit in the crowd endlessly chanting "Make Australia great again."

That's a level of fuckwittery even the pond finds too bizarre for words ...

Of course there were a few token hold outs designed to produce some semblance of balance ...

But would it be a decent day at the lizard Oz if 18C and idle chatter about 'leets and prattling Polonius weren't on parade?

Now obviously any sensible person wanting a quick, easy pond story would select the wonderfully stupid Oz editorial proposing that the Donald would rise to the economic challenge and help the aspirations of working families, as if tariffs, building physical and fiscal walls, an end to free trade, and a trade war with China are going to be good first steps ...

But the pond is loyal, and it turns out that prattling Polonius knew the result in advance. It's true he neglected to let the world know, but there's nothing like blowing your own trumpet after the event ...

Yes, Polonius saw it coming, and while it might seem sensible and reasonable to some to continue to think of the Donald as a dropkick and a loser, who will help keep a divided country in a state of deep division and turmoil for the next four years, all Polonius can see is a winner ... not that he's Polonius's kind of conservative, but in the weird world of the reptiles, it's any conservative in a storm ... even if the storm is self-inflicted ...

You know,  you could if you like, and without too much effort and very little to pay in the way of fines to the Godwin's Law swear jar, transfer this column holus bolus to Germany in the 1930s, helpfully celebrating the rise of Herr Hitler, and celebrating the way the appalling 'leets and the media failed ...

Just one sample will show how it might be done ...

It is one thing to misinterpret contemporary Germany and quite another to exhibit contempt towards Herr Hitler's voters.

After all, the Jews and the international bankers and the blacks and Jesse Owens and Kenyan Muslims have a  pussy-clutching case to answer ...

But the pond will settle for noting that anyone who made it to the end of prattling Polonius can be forgiven for completely forgetting that Clinton won the popular vote - the fifth candidate to do so and still lose, thanks to the technical and arcane rituals of the electoral college ...

As usual, google is the friend of those with a complete memory loss ...

So the Donald is the winner, but he's not the most popular of winners, and there's going to be a lot of tears shed over the next four years.

Polonius is so busy paying out The New York Times and Blow and all the rest of the usual reptile deplorables, that he fails to recognise he's fallen into the "We've won!", "We've won!??" syndrome ...

Polonius might love a little pussy-grabbing - that's his choice - but the pond reserves the right to take a view of the deplorables who voted for a pussy-grabber as their national leader ... and if that puts the pond in the company of the oscillating fan, so be it ...

Now is there any more nauseating or daunting spectacle than proud deplorable parents, showing off a snotty-nosed, squawking, tweeting brat of a tot to an ingratiating twit?

Thanks to Rowe, we have a sense of it, and more sensible Rowe here ...