In which the pond offers a post-identity world, and nattering "Ned" as lunch-time treats setting up the mood for a siesta ...

Mortified by its refusal to defend the Castro regime against Dame Slap, the pond hunted around for some alternative examples of the barking mad and didn't have far to look.

As always, the reptiles are full to overflowing with the good oil...

Yes, it's easy to spot the whiff of triumphant delusionalism in that the splash for Johns' piece, but the whiff is a bagatelle up against the full to overflowing whiffery of the full piece ...

Brave new post-identity world? You mean there'll be no more angry old white men?

You see, not just plain delusional, but pure bigoted barking mad ... and those who doubted the pond's capacity to deliver without benefit of Dame Slap, take a chill pill and settle back for the rest of the distilled essence of utopian jibber jabber ...

Yep, the plain speaking Johns can't even plainspeak bullshit, but instead must resort to bulldust, while spreading an endless amount of cow dung.

Now here's the pond conundrum, which others might be able to answer. Was Johns being post-Trumpian satirical when he scribbled that final par? Read it again in all its glory ...

What the fuck? In a post-identity world, people of identity will ...

What the flaming delusional fuck?

60,000 years of tribes, or more,  and suddenly Johns announces a post-identity world full of dignity? Can the pond have nukes with that?

As well as Mardi Gras, will we be killing off Santa Claus, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy and any attempts to bring back saturnalia?

Why did he pick out the gay Mardi Gras? Why not New Year fireworks, where the tribal children of Guy Fawke gather to welcome in the new year.

Why did the killjoy settle for terminating a bit of a song and a dance at Mardi Gras around the world?

And he has the hide to label others as regressive?

What the killjoy heck?

Okay, that's the barking mad out of the way but the pond began to feel like it needed another sugar hit, and that's when it realised it needed a downer, something to slow the pulse and produce an afternoon siesta, and what better way than that other loon featured in the Oz splash at the top of the digital opinion page, solemn ponderous portentous "Ned" Kelly ... (though even the reptiles recognise the ennui factor and nattering "Ned" subsequently dropped right down the page).

Slower than a speeding bullet. More tedious than a locomotive without steam. Able to toddle around tall buildings at a tedious pace.

Yes, it's narcotic "Ned", strange visitor from a reptile planet who came to the Murdochians with powers and abilities to produce a somnolent state far beyond those of mortal Murdochians ...

Okay, that's enough entertainment, it's sleepy time ...

Oh come now. Surely the reptiles and the Donald have many shared values ...

Lock 'em up, and if we might transpose CNN as the American equivalent of Fairfax, the ABC, SBS, the Graudian and all the rest of the lily-livered wretches who dare to mention actual facts, abuse them for failing badly and getting worse ...

And now back to tedious "Ned", though admittedly there's as much channelling as there is nattering ...

Manage Donald Trump? By joining in a hot war with China?

Oh yes, let's manage the Donald, he sounds ever so manageable ...

Well brave journalist "Ned" is doing his job, dear Donald ...

Get ready for a few lessons from the brave, bold scribbler ...

Indeed, indeed, a healthy relationship with the barking mad, ruling by Twitter, and with just the occasional divergence, and with that, all is well in the world, thanks to the incisive "Ned" ...

Well if all that's conducive to a healthy relationship, nattering "Ned" is welcome to it, but count the pond out.

Now let's see how others are preparing for a healthy relationship ... by heading to Canada ...

The embedded links in that story are here ...

And now to help people wake up after their time with Johns and nattering Ned, here's Rowe merrily ding donging up a fun song, and more ding donging here ...