Paul Kent, the man who thinks writing a column is a little like writing a memoir about the greatest hits of Johnny Lewis ...

(Above: first for the light relief. Psst, didn't anyone tell SA Liberal Senator Mary Jo Fisher they turned on the cameras in the house? Or did she think Jim Sharman would love her homage any way? Well I guess her frock fits the retro ambience of the Rocky Horror Show. But really, thanks Mary Jo, great, loved your work, don't call us, we'll call you. (whispered aside to casting aide. "Jesus wept, is this all the talent they've got? Gibberish for lyrics, dance moves that only Riff Raff could love, a dress that only Little Nell or perhaps Miss Havingsham could envy, and a voice with the texture and appeal of a high pitched chain saw. Next please." And you can see the full Rocky Horror Carbon Dance video at Senator turns carbon tax into dance parody thanks to the cardigan wearers at the ABC.)

Now for the bummer dude.

What a despicable piece of work Paul Kent is, and what a wretched gutter rag the Daily Terror can be.

Kent was yesterday back in the news for his year ago war against Matthew Newton.

Back in August 2010 he scribbled this in Low actor Matthew Newton needs some of his own medicine:

Matthew Newton doesn't need to go back to rehab. Matthew Newton needs a good hiding. A smack in the mouth.

No doubt this piece of outstanding commentary, said without fear or prejudice, will send the sob sisters into a flap this morning as they stand appalled at the sheer brutishness of it.

Kent rounded out his piece thus:

If somebody had grabbed him by the collar back when this first started and given him a little some of what he was allegedly giving her, things might have panned out differently.

But no, excuses keep getting put up for him.

The good news is if he is found to have acted out again he might still get his flogging, one way or another. (the in between stuff can be found via the link above if you can be bothered).

So then someone - a large man - came out of the darkness, and without any visible provocation, upped and smacked Matthew Newton in the face in a king hit. So one way or another he got his flogging. A good samaritan took the blood spattered actor to hospital ...

Now it would be tempting to suggest that what Paul Kent needs is a good hiding, a smack in the mouth, said without fear and prejudice, and never mind the sheer brutishness of it, but that's the trouble with gutter grubs, because it's never worth getting down into the gutter with them (especially, if like me, you loath violence, and spaghetti would offer more more boxing prowess. Yes, in the pond v limp noodle, the limp noodle wins every time).

Back then Crikey awarded him a Wankley for his efforts (The Wankley Award goes to ... The Daily Tele's Paul 'flogger' Kent).

You don’t have to be a ‘sob sister’, in Kent’s parlance, to be troubled by such irresponsible journalism. For that, and to the rest of the vultures, he earns a smack of the Crikey Wankley Award.

The Crikey piece notes how the war expanded to other media empires, inspired by Kent's eagerness to go the biff, but while their link to a YouTube of Seven's report on an incident involving Newton in Italy still works, here, their other link to Seven, here, now makes no mention of Kent's suggestion that "sometimes you've got to give a dog a smack across the nose to discipline them."

I wouldn't line a cocky's cage with Kent's scribbles because the excremental excitement it would arouse could only do the bird harm.

I've lived with domestic violence in my early years - my grandfather was a Somme veteran and an alcoholic and an unhappy man - and it isn't pleasant, but Flogger Kent isn't the solution, he's part of the problem. Violence is no answer to violence, but begets more violence. Newton isn't to be excused for what he did, but he needed help, not a sock in the jaw to teach him a lesson. (And the best trainers will also tell you that smacking a dog is actually not a very good way to train a dog unless you want a dog that's scared and nervous around you, or aggressive towards you, just like you've been aggressive to it).

The violence Kent contemplates is a deep part of the problem that sees violence in streets and pubs amongst men on a daily basis. It's the jock mentality of the violent bully. If Kent would rather vomit than see Newton go off to rehab, can we just double the bet. I promise I'll avoid vomiting for a year by the simple act of avoiding reading Kent ...

Amazingly Kent still scribbles for the Terror.

It says everything you need to know about the rag and the mindset of the minions of Murdoch ...

Oh and as for mention of Kent in the Murdoch rags regarding yesterday's court reporting?

Try reading Matthew Newton attends court to face breach of AVO against Rachael Taylor in the HUN and see if you can find a reference to Newton's lawyer Chris Murphy bringing Kent's column to the court's notice ...

Hah, that was actually the sound of crickets.

How about the Daily Terror itself? In Matthew Newton's defence: I'm mentally ill.

Hah, even more crickets and very short in their song. It seems it just published an article of a nondescript kind ...

You can find it in The Australian, in Actor Matthew Newton nervous for his life, lawyer Chris Murphy tells court, but with Kent's name mysteriously elided:

Mr Murphy told the court that in The Daily Telegraph newspaper on August 25 last year "a journalist went on a national campaign . . . calling on people to smack (Newton) in the mouth (and) what happened was that journalist's wish was fulfilled".

Mr Murphy alleged the campaign was then picked up by The Australian, the Seven Network and radio station Triple M, causing Newton to become "nervous about his life".

Though it does find the space to explain how Mr. Murphy worked the angle - withholding Newton's address from view, when it wasn't in the court records - to get Kent's piece into the matter, no doubt to be played up down the track as needed.

Never mind. If you read other reports Mr. Murphy wasn't so polite as to refer to "a journalist". He was a little more explicit, as Mr. Murphy is sometimes inclined to be.

You can find Mr. Kent's name as a salient fact mentioned by Mr. Murphy in almost every other piece about the court case, from The Spy Report, through Yahoo!7 (which is linked with the Seven Network and which, per Crikey, gave Kent a run back in 2010, but which picked up the AAP coverage and ran it straight), to the Sydney Morning Herald, which also picked up the AAP coverage here, and also ran it straight:

Last August, journalist Paul Kent went "on a national campaign" in the Daily Telegraph, The Australian, Seven Network and Triple M, calling on people to punch Newton in the mouth and attack him, the lawyer said.

"He said: 'He's a dog, he has got to get a hiding one way or another' ... he called upon people to smack him in the mouth," Mr Murphy said.

"That journalist's wish was fulfilled."

Oops, well they did until the subbie fairy flew through the air and changed the copy in the dead of night with the help of a little keyboard pixie dust, sending us off to The Age, here, to discover the pixie dust hadn't yet settled in Melbourne, and the cut and paste above was indeed a fair copy of the original AAP story sent out across the intertubes.

Never mind. Big enough to crawl out from behind the keyboard Mr Kent and apologise? Or would it unperson you to join the sob sisters?

Ever seen a man king hit and dead? Why not go have a long chat with David Hookes about it? Of course you'll need to be dead to do it, but that shouldn't trouble a fearless investigative reporter with a sporting bias.

It's a pity that there isn't a charge along the lines of "incitement to violence", whether or not Kent's piece inspired the large man to king hit Newton, knocking him to the ground, requiring several sutures to the face and tending of a broken nose. Just the irresponsibility of inciting violence should be enough ...

But I'd settle for a sacking ...

I'm not holding my breath.

Phew, after that little outburst, it's time for a little levity.

Oh where to turn, oh what to do?

Oh thank you Mary Jo, we'd love to see you demonstrate the pelvic thrust as you take a step to the left and a step to the right, and twirl yourself around, and do the Rocky Horror carbon dance.

Take it away:

Ah shucks, it really requires movement to get the full dynamic, and the ABC footage, while available for streaming, won't embed. That link again, Senator turns carbon tax into dance parody , and I'm sure it'll be on YouTube before the day is out. I just can't be bothered scraping the image, rather than sending the odd hit the cardigan wearers' way.