Jim Wallace, the crusades continue, and let's hear it for Megan Fox ...

(Above: the columnist Mr. " ", also known as "Jim Wallace").

Good old Jim Wallace, managing director of the Australian Christian Lobby, is out stalking the battlements of The Australian's righteously right columns pages yet again, and yet again he hits the nail firmly on the head in Greens are attacking religious freedom.

The democratic right to discriminate is under dire threat. Over the years do gooders and sneering secularists have gradually chipped away at this important democratic right, and gradually the thin veneer of civilisation has been stripped away to reveal the chipboard beneath.

Long gone are the days when it was right and proper to discriminate against blacks. As for the Jews ... sheesh what went wrong ... not to mention the soft treatment dished out to trade unionists, pinko pervert commie bastards, feminists, women in general, seeing as they're such a fussy interfering bunch of busybodies or cheap hussies, and homosexuals of course, known to bible worshippers everywhere as sodomites ...

Yes, he had it right, that Islamic chappie, when he called out women as cheap sweltering trays of meat left out in the noon day sun in a way designed to send men and cats go mad because of their meatiness. Lock them in the refrigerator, where they belong ...

And did the crazed discriminatory secularists cop the bucketing they were due for discriminating against his discrimination? No way Jose ...

It just ain't fair, which is why we look forward to Jim's campaign in favour of faith based Islamic schools demonstrating profound discrimination against women. What we need is a burqa-led faith based recovery program for girls, the kind of discrimination that truly helps in building a faith-based society ...

Oh sorry, wrong set of discriminations.

But I'm sure there will be plenty of eager participants in a revived campaign to discriminate against Jews. Soon the eastern suburbs might see a proliferation of signs reading "Jews out of Dover Heights now". I'll help out in the western suburbs by joining in a campaign to discriminate against wogs and Asians ...

Yes, there's nothing like a little effective discrimination to grease the wheels of an harmonious society.

Once you've been bitten by the rabid Christian crusader bug you too will be able to see the joys of active discrimination, retribution, hellfire, guilt and punishment. Oh bliss, oh pooh ...

Jim's real concern, his deepest paranoia, is reserved for the dangerous influence wielded by homosexuals, even worse than secularists, because they've simply gone way too far:

During more than 40 years of pursuing its objectives, the homosexual lobby has trumpeted its differences. "Queer" and "proud" were calls to include homosexual lifestyle in the diversity that is modern Australia.

But now the tactic has changed. Not only do they want to be the same as everyone else, they're not prepared to suffer diversity in anyone else, particularly if it is religiously inspired.

The latest target has been religious freedom. Admittedly they don't discriminate - anyone's religious freedom will do.

Yes, they're so against diversity, and they so want to seduce the children ... just envious I guess at the way scout masters and priests seem to do all the scoring.

Oh how my heart weeps for the poor oppressed Islamic fundamentalists and their quaint beliefs, which in so many unnerving tics and mannerisms and ways, match the prejudices and discriminatory lusts of fundamentalist Christians, not least the shared paranoia at the way the evil homosexuals are actively discriminating against them.

But that's just like gays, so perverse, so proud, so out, so in ... so against freedom for the religious to abuse the crap out of them, for the evil wicked sinners destined for hellfire and an eternity of suffering that they are ...

Churches are portrayed as wantonly discriminatory for refusing to employ someone who doesn't subscribe to their values. So might any corporation, particularly after the money spent on defining corporate values.

Indeed, though the last time I checked Coca-Cola might have found it a tad tricky to sack an otherwise performing employee for sneaking a drink of Pepsi during his lunch break. Even the federal Health Department, which banned smoke breaks, can't actually ban employees from smoking ...

But it's vitally important that Christian churches be allowed to discriminate. As the bible shows, Christ was particularly severe on the lame and the halt, and fallen women, and had a profound disdain for good samaritans and tax men, and poor people. How did that line go again? It's easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a poor person to get into heaven ... (thanks Hillsong for reminding me).

Above all, it's really important that churches be allowed to stretch out their paws for government money while practising sensible discrimination. It would be totally wrong to ask them to conform to the laws of the land when spending taxpayers' dollars, not when they can take the money and run like bandits ...

And of course it's vitally important that churches be allowed to teach sensible science, like climate denialism and creationism, all while using taxpayers' dollars to fund their tremendously important disavowals of the evils of computers and the age of the internet. Because, you see ...

... the objection of churches is not just founded in values but in the deep-seated beliefs that spring from faith.

The UN has recognised freedom of religion as so important to the exercise of conscience that it has declared this freedom is non-derogable and cannot be limited even during times of national emergency, not even "for the purpose of preserving the life of the nation".

This freedom includes the right of people of faith "to manifest" their religion and to ensure "the religious and moral education of their children in conformity with their own convictions", and it is from this right that faith schools have evolved.

Yes, good old faith schools, and so just around the corner is our very own scientological faith school, and a little further out west is our Islamic faith school, and not too far away I can contemplate the ratbaggery of the fundamentalist Exclusive Brethren merrily squirrelling away tax dollars from the public system, and it all seems so right, and just and fair, and discriminatory.

The guarantee around education of children is not just about religious education but also moral education.

Yes, a solid moral education, in which they might learn to hate and fear homosexuality and homosexuals, and fear feminists and demand the man continue as the head of marriage and the font of wisdom, and perhaps even to wonder if the Jews really did have too much of a hand in the killing of Christ ...

It means that some schools place a very high priority on having a faith environment reinforced by practising members of their faith in every position in the school and will demand faith-based standards from the students.

Ah yes, the good old days of faith-based standards, and the taking out of the measuring stick, and the measuring of the length of dress hems above the ground, just to make sure the little sluts weren't flashers and the checking of the shine on the boys' shoes, just to make sure they weren't using them as mirrors to take an upward look ...

Oh such a healthy, rewarding attitude to sex ... and when you see what faith based standards wrought in the twentieth century, like a couple of world wars and a holocaust, why it just makes you just want to holler for joy ...

This atmosphere is proving increasingly attractive to secular parents who readily agree to endorse the beliefs of the school to secure a better environment in which their children can grow and flourish. But it incenses the homosexual activists.

Yes, yes, even secularist parents are flocking to faith-based schools, so they can be rampantly discriminated against for being secularists, and their children can be given a healthy faith-based grounding in ways to despise their evil secularist parents. It makes such perfect sense ... the lacerating guilt of secularists, destined for hellfire for eternity, makes them yearn for a discriminatory lashing or three on a daily basis, as their children are cornered in the school yard by a mob shrieking "ya ya, ya dad's a filthy secularist, you're all gunna go to hell".

But above all we must fear the homosexual, dangerously lacking in a sense of the need for their ongoing discrimination and persecution.

Why soon they'll be acting like your average Christian fundamentalist and discriminating, and as we all know, there's healthy Christian discrimination, while some other forms of discrimination can be a tad upsetting:

Now sensing themselves in the home stretch of their campaign, they are becoming increasingly intolerant, not just of religion and faith but of cultural diversity and their very claim on marriage is part of this.

There is no acknowledgment that for millennia and across cultures marriage has been the expression of the natural relationship between men and women, and one that reinforces the crucial role of mothers and fathers.

Oh the intolerant bastards, and Christians so meek and mild to them for generations, apart from the odd bit of torture and persecution, not limited to death by hanging ...

Just as there's rarely been much acknowledgement that across the millenia there have been single mothers and single fathers, and extended families and broken families ruined by war or civil strife and polygamy (a favourite of early Jews and latter day Mormons), and earth mothers, and matriarchal societies, and Roman gods, and Greek society which didn't define homosexuality as such but celebrated polymorph perversity as it gave birth to western civilisation, and a thousand and one more ways of doing and thinking about things than are dreamed of in Jim's rather puny understanding of the ways of the world, shrunken as it is rather like a pygmy head and put on the totem pole of pious Christianity.

But now's not the time for a history lesson, not when there's time to crank up the fear.

Of course the reality is also hidden behind smart marketing such as "marriage equality", which suggests there is some practical discrimination in entitlements or benefits, when years of legislative changes mean there is none.

Sure there's no discrimination in Australia against gays or Asians or blacks, or anybody really .... except for discrimination against Christians and the religious. And if you believe that I have a straight dog's hind leg ready to walk a crooked mile with you for a knockdown price of sixpence ...

Ah well if even Catholic Spain and Catholic Argentina managed to get there, this sort of semantic gibberish might eventually be swept away by time and tide ...

But it'll require some active discrimination. Oops:

As often, though, it is the silencing of alternative voices by the vitriol in terms such as "bigot" or "homophobe" and the effective closing of public forums such as On Line Opinion by unacceptable bullying of its sponsors IBM and ANZ that has left free speech as another casualty in their wake.

No no, Jim, you'll always have The Australian as a forum, it just loves to stir the possum, and amazingly you still have your own website. No link of course, why link to a site devoted to free hate speech and active discrimination? And last I looked On Line Opinion was burbling along, this very day, though perhaps the books are the worse the wear for publishing stridently anti-gay rhetoric ... But then if freedom of speech is the freedom to bash, prepare yourself for a little backlash ...

And each time a Christian shrieks about how they suffer, and are bullied, by golly I like to think of them in the company of Christ ... just before he tells them to troop off to hell, because really truth to tell, if they'd read the bible a little more closely, he wasn't in favour of discrimination at all ...

He actually had a little time for the harlots and the tax men, and if they'd actually had a proper concept of homosexuality back then, as opposed to the misappropriation of the term Sodom for sodomites, sprinkled liberally and inappropriately through the King James version, he and his merry band of crusaders might just have fitted the bill. Unless of course he did covertly get married, because he was such a believer in the institution of marriage, had a couple of ankle biters and the Christ genes are still amongst us today, and can even be found in the odd secularist ...

Strange fairy tales indeed.

However, the saddest casualties would be the vast number of people who for faith or cultural reasons place great value, even sacred value, on this institution over which this ambit claim has no right.

Be afraid Jim, be very afraid. It's not just an ambit claim. It's happened elsewhere, all over the place, even in a few unpredictable places, and it's part of the process of getting rid of the unsavoury discrimination practised by conservative religions ... and the sooner the better.

Of course it wouldn't be a decent discriminatory day in The Australian if the anonymous editorialist didn't also chip in on Jim's side with Canberra should not cede power to territories.

In the usual way, the editorialist rages and foams about the dangers of a tertiary-educated public sector-dominated electorate which have values in conflict with the wider Australian community. Yes and some of the silly buggers still buy and read The Australian ... in the usual secularist way, as they search ritually for humiliation and discrimination ...

For hypocritical cant and humbug you can never go wrong with the anonymous editorialist, and they deploy the full range of cant as they have an anxiety attack about traditional Labour voters and inner city elites ...

Community attitudes to homosexuality have matured significantly in recent decades, and there has been popular support for equal property rights. But the introduction of same-sex marriage will be confronting for socially conservative, working-class families in traditional Labor seats, and honestly held views must be heard, not condemned.

What, we can't even condemn talk of meat on trays in the noon day sun, or the stupidity of creationism or the nonsense of gay hate and gay bashing? Oh go take a wank in private anonymous editorialist, and we promise not to say a word about your masturbatory ways, not even when the hairs begin to grown on your palms ....

But wait, there's more, there's that dull grey Paul Kelly joining in Brown leads ALP on a merry dance, and all of this was produced by a front page fear mongering conspiracy story by the deeply Canberra conservative Dennis Shanahan, consort of Angela, and Matthew Shanahan, under the header Labor revolt on gay marriage here ...

And so the discrimination crusade continues, as it's done since it lured the prophets inside the structures of institutionalised patriarchal religious structures ...

Which leads me to a Pauline Hanson question. If you're an inner city dweller, or a public servant, or live in Canberra, or the Northern Territory, and expect the government you elect to be able to act on your behalf without big brother making a mockery of the process, or if you are tertiary educated, or a secularist, or gay, or someone against the easy cheap discrimination practised relentlessly by religious fundamentalists and bigots, and now given carriage by queasy compromised 'print the controversy 'journalism, why do you bother to buy The Australian?

Please explain ...

Is it for the pleasure of reading Mr. " "?

Well we can sell you a cilice instead ... quite cheaply ...

(Below: it was with great joy that when we image googled Jim Wallace we found right next to him a snap of Megan Fox run by the pond a couple of years ago. Here, have a go. It seems people who go looking for an image of Jim just can't help taking a look at Megan at the same time. Good on you Megan, keep doing your work, let's keep the link between Jim and pagan sex strong ... and good work, non-discriminatory though possibly discerning gentlemen readers for clearly preferring titillation to discrimination).