NSW Labor, and no need for the conservative commentariat, not when you have the rats in the ranks ...

(Above: NSW Labor working on a new public transport policy).

It's hard to know where to look on the pond, and avoid the sight of the rats in the ranks deserting the cheese to take tasty bites at each other.

Amongst the early entrants was the wretched Bob Carr pretending the failure of vision in relation to public transport had nothing to do with him, as he calls for the obligatory bowl of water and washes his hands in Party rout a work of genius.

If you read Carr, you'd think Sydney was a veritable Rome during his time at the helm, and the streets paved with gold - it certainly had its share of panem et circenses - and everything fine and dandy, but I prefer the vision outlined in Andrew West's The three biggest myths of the NSW election result:

3. The Carr years were Camelot for Labor

... If there was one issue that was emblematic of the failure of Labor's 16 years in office it was public transport - and for that the blame rests squarely with Bob Carr.

Carr made an electoral career out of grand public transport visions, then either deferring, delaying or dropping the vision, or delivering half-baked, pale bits and pieces of useless nothingness, which is how Kristina Keneally could head into the election with a Carr-inspired Fairness to Families routine that Carr first announced way back when, twenty years ago, and then failed to deliver on (Keneally defends Carr policy 'rehash').

And there was Gra Gra "Swiss bank account" "whatever it takes" Richardson scribbling NSW Labor has lost its base, and the plot. Perhaps the Labor party also lost its Swiss bank account.

That was countered by Shaun Carney explaining that the NSW election was The death of politics, Richo-style. Ah yes, the Richo style. Go pontificate for Rupert ...

It reached some kind of pot v kettle existential absurdity with Michael Costa claiming ALP hopeful John Robertson lacks political nous, says Michael Costa. The question there is whether Costa would recognise political nous if it bit him on the shins, or even kicked him in the groin.

No, you have to turn to others for the 'stick the boot in John Robertson' exercise, and who better than a vengeful Morris Iemma, Let John Robertson 'burn out' as NSW Labor leader, says Morris Iemma, or a man with genuine political nous, Paul Keating, who took to the ABC to propose that there was no room for either John Robertson at the top, or 'sicko populism' (No room for 'sicko populism' as Keating unloads on Labor).

Meanwhile there was the extraordinary sight of Eddie Obeid arguing that the factions were as innocent as Snow White confronted by a bunch of mean old wolves or witches or whatever (and if you want a giggle and have the energy you can read it all in Don't point the finger of blame at factions), which naturally led to Frank Sartor suggesting that Eddie piss off quick, and to make sure he closed the door on his way out, in An open letter to Eddie Obeid.

Along the way, and inter alia Frank finds time to mention the Barangaroo development:

You and Bitar constantly harassed Iemma about the Barangaroo development behind my back. Well you got what you wanted. Keneally became planning minister, she approved much higher density for the site and now you have a controversial development built, in part, over the harbour. Brilliant public policy, Eddie. Well done, mate!

Oops. Now Paul Keating will have to give Frank a damn good savaging, because Keating was always a lover of the hotel which he called an "exclamation mark" - !! - while others called it the "worst of Dubai' look at me' architecture". (Grand slam for Barangaroo's grand plan: harbour makeover looks like 'worst of Dubai').

Now it only remains for NSW Labor to put wrecker Robertson in charge of the wreckage, and the noise will settle down on the pond, as the rats retreat back into the walls, and go about their back-stabbing business in private.

Meanwhile, Barry O'Farrell can start with the slashing and the burning, having already in obligatory fashion discovered a 'black hole' in the budget, which perforce means everything is now in a state of confusion, and anything that was said before the discovery of said 'black hole' must now be reviewed with regard to the devastating effect said 'black holes' can have on innocent galaxies ...

The ultimate point being?

Well what's the point of having a Labor party bashing conservative commentariat when the lads and lasses of the Labor party do it so well themselves.

Rarely do we see such a gnashing of teeth and a wailing and a piteous sighing in the valley of tears from even the most resolute of Murdoch hacks, not up against these Labor visionaries surging towards the light on the hill.

Why it barely leaves time to note that in his usual way Daniel Pipes manages to see all that's happening in the middle east through a reversed telescope, in Blind to the Islamist threat in the Middle East.

Yes, according to Pipes, there are Islamists everywhere, and quite possibly in your underpants as this is written, and make sure you look under the bed and behind the toilet door, because there's every chance there's an Islamist there, along with the cookie monster, and who knows what happens when the Islamist snatches the cookie ...

There's nothing like preferring the company of dictators and monarchists who can keep the Islamists and the cookie monster under firm control, as opposed to wild-eyed starry radical idealist visionaries blathering about democracy, and regurgitating American talking points about the need for freedom and the right to vote in the middle east - a need so urgent the Iraq war was launched with Pipes' approval, but naturally like spoiled children handed a cookie, under-appreciated by the Iraqis:

Q: What is the biggest lesson you have learned from the Iraq war?

A: The ingratitude of the Iraqis for the extraordinary favor we gave them -- to release them from the bondage of Saddam Hussein's tyranny. They have rapidly interpreted it as something they did and that we were incidental to it. They've more or less written us out of the picture. (here)

Yes, and the damned country remained Islamic, when a sufficient display of gratitude would surely have been to turn southern Baptist Christian overnight and start speaking in tongues about the evils of secularists ...

Meanwhile over in Saudi Arabia, hearty ally of all that's good and right in western values, and genuine home to rabid Islamists, the absolutist monarchy continues to make the news with its excellent treatment of women, as outlined in Saudi Arabia 'not ready for women voters'.

Saudi women are banned from driving and cannot travel without authorisation from their husband or a related male guardian.
They have also to cover from head to toe in public.

And add to that, the predictable news that the ban on women having a vote in tawdry municipal polls has been continued. Now there's an Islamist monarchist dictatorial ally with values well worth supporting ...

Still it does provide the germ of an idea for how to deal with NSW Labor party politicians while the period of grieving and mourning continues for the next six months.

Cover them from head to toe in public.

Then we can concentrate on the fun of Barry O'Farrell dealing with a broken public transport system, and with what one wit dubbed the 'fuckwit factor':

"It's basically MPs who were never supposed to get in, and who become dangerous on the back bench. Some people are already trying to marshal them into support blocs to increase their influence." (here)

Bazza is going to have his hands full if he can't feed the restless rats a new kind of cheese.

Of course if, against the odds, Pauline Hanson does manage to score a seat in the upper house, then any recalcitrant Liberal MP will look like small cheese when it comes to sizing up the fuckwit factor.

And at that point, NSW voters will have earned the right to eternal damnation, bad public transport, hideous policies ...

... and the pond will only go out in public covered head to toe, for the sheer shame of it all ...

Pauline Hanson as an MP again, and the Greens and the Labor party with a hand in it. (Parties point finger at one another over Hanson votes).

If it happens - it seems unlikely at the moment, but if it does - oh the horror, the horror ...

(Below: oh no, and it seemed such a good joke in '97, found here).