(Above: mad dog hugs dog man).
Things aren't going too well in the world right at the moment.
There's the depressing situation in Libya, and the stark reminder of the west's hypocrisy and indifference to genuine democratic movements. For all the idle chatter about democracy in the middle east emanating from the United States, the sight of Saudi Arabian troops landing in Bahrain says it all (Bahrainis cannot be subdued for ever).
The Saudi regime has long been one of the more reprehensible repressive regimes in the region, and long an ally of the west, and perhaps only the rehabilitation of Colonel 'Mad Dog' Gaddafi - supplied with plentiful western armaments so his repressive regime can stick it to the civilian population - is even more disgraceful.
If you want either wistful memories or a cynical laugh, why not take a read of Obama's Speech in Cairo again, the text embalmed for the world in the pages of the New York Times.
Democracy in the middle east? Does that include the right to be exploited and killed by well armed tin pot dictators?
In the antipodes, the mood hovers somewhere between the craven, callous mutterings of Hugh White in Flight ban a perilous gamble for the West, and the robust response by Bernard Keane in White gives away foreign policy establishment's sleight-of-hand on Libya.
You see, it's fine to embark on adventurist wars in Iraq or Afghanistan, but when freedom fighters opposed to a mad dog dictator ask for help, it's best to either (a) dither and dally, (b) call for a cleansing bowl of water in which to wash one's hands, (c) sit on one's hands or (d) suck on a thumb and hope everything works out for the best in the best of all possible worlds, and never mind the odd bit of civilian slaughter when there's business to be done to keep the oil flowing ...
Meanwhile, with the news in Japan even more depressing, it's been awhile since we've heard from the bright eyed bushy tailed Ziggy Switkowski explaining how Japan nuclear meltdown threat only minor, says Ziggy Switkwoski, and how Even in earthquake zones, nuclear power is still a safe option.
So that leaves the path clear for Andrew Bolt to spring to Ziggy's rescue in Bolt: Sum of all fears doesn't add up. Relax people, a little irregular irradiation never hurt anyone, especially dolts ...
Naturally Henry Ergas seizes the moment to explain why absolutely nothing can be done about climate change because of the crisis in Japan. And if you've got a few spare brain cells to shed, you too can read Crisis removes easy path to low-carbon world, as Henry calls for an informed and mature discussion of the real choices ahead ... and so immediately stops writing, so we must continue to wonder what form an informed and mature discussion of the real choices ahead might take.
Unless of course he believes in that comfortable strategy of (a) dithering and dallying, (b) calling for a cleansing bowl of water in which to wash one's hands, (c) sitting on one's hands or (d) sucking on a thumb and hoping everything works out for the best in the best of all possible worlds, and never mind the odd bit of carbon in the atmosphere when there's business to be done to keep the coal flowing ...
No doubt things are also pretty crook in Tallarook (or Muswellbrook), but hey let's get some perspective.
Sure we're not hearing much about news from Christchurch or trapped miners or Queensland floods or sundry bushfires - that's so yesterday - but that's also because navel gazing never goes out of style, and lordy, do we have some fine navel gazing to hand in Jessica Irvine's Sydney is a sadder, meaner, angrier city.
Yep at a time when the world is finding the going tough, Jessica is in despair about Siderrney, the Elizabeth Taylor of Australian cities (replete with an extended metaphor about Liz's many hubbies and our many splendored premiers).
What's that you say? You didn't hear of the tsunami striking Bondi beach, or the RAAF strafing the Lakemba mosque, or Lucas Heights having an alarming meltdown?
No, no, no, it's the quality of the coffee served, and a few other meltdowns:
Sydney has changed. It is a sadder, meaner and angrier place to live. Sydney is a city under siege; from higher house prices, to mortgages, electricity prices, toll roads, congestion … you name it.
Um, but this surely isn't up there with a tsunami?
Um, but this surely isn't up there with a tsunami?
Lordy, do you furriners fail to understand the nature of deep seated navel gazing:
Every day brings another car on the roads, but no extra road. Every weekend brings another bidder at the auction, but hardly any extra homes. Sydney is a city collapsing in on itself. Not waving, but drowning.
Yep, it's so bad, only a band's name can evoke the tragedy (yes, it's all your fault David Bridie).
Lordy, what we're facing is a crisis that makes a nuclear plant meltdown seem like a lollypop up against an existential nightmare:
Try as we might to resist, all this breeds a greater distrust and resentment towards one another. That guy who cut into your lane without waving thanks. The woman who took the last seat on the bus. The Joneses who have a nicer house, backyard, car, holiday home.
Oh yes, the last seat on the bus crisis - some call it a cataclysmic catastrophic apocalyptic moment of armageddon despair - and let's not have any feral readers reminisce about getting caught on a Tokyo train during peak hour, and experiencing the Shinjuku scrum, not to mention the New York squash on the D line (amazingly there's even a wiki on rush hour around the world).
You see life in New South Wales is so astonishingly burdensome that people still rush to experience it:
Research by Access Economics shows the proportion of people choosing to live in NSW as opposed to other Australian states has been shrinking since the Olympics. And yet the population continues to swell, putting more pressure on existing resources.
Damn it, now let me guess where the wayward punters are heading:
... if Sydney is Elizabeth Taylor, then Melbourne is Helen Mirren. Far from faded glory, Mirren is using her later years to put in some of the best performances of her career. And boy can she rock a swimsuit!
Oh dear, Melbourne rampant, like an aged Mirren, and Sydneysiders plunged into gloom. This is sounding hideous, beyond redemption:
Oh dear, Melbourne rampant, like an aged Mirren, and Sydneysiders plunged into gloom. This is sounding hideous, beyond redemption:
Burdened by supersized mortgages, we eat at home rather than venturing out. Frustrated by public transport we lock ourselves in our cars, listening not to the banter of fellow passengers but the irate rants of conservative radio hosts.
Dear lord, can it get any worse?
Sydney has always been a tribal city, split between the north shore, eastern suburbs and western suburbs. But those divisions are becoming ever more entrenched. Not only is it physically difficult to get from one enclave to the next, rising house prices in well-located areas are entrenching inequality across the generations.
Oh sweet crucified Jesus, why it seems it's even worse than crossing the mud-brown fetid Yarra in search of company.
Why on earth would anyone want to live in Sydney? You see greater New York, population 20 million, or Tokyo, 13 million with radiation hovering in the breeze, or Beijing or Shanghai, Sydney with 4.5 million is just way too big, and so deeply unhappy.
Bob's suggestion, as channelled by Jessica?
Professor Cummins says the happiest place to live in Australia is probably a regional centre, somewhere near the coast, with a population of about 20,000 to 30,000 people, meaning there is enough infrastructure to support them and they do not feel disconnected from the neighbours.
A town of 20-30k? You mean like Tamworth but on the coast? Never mind, just pass me the noose or the bottle of pills or the gun ... I know what I have to do ...
Meanwhile, Jessica rounds it all out with a reference to Dylan Thomas:
Does Barry O'Farrell get it? Sydney doesn't just need a leader, it needs a healer. Does O'Farrell understand the challenge ahead?
On behalf of every frustrated Sydneysider, it's time to rage, rage against the dying of the light.
On behalf of every frustrated Sydneysider, it's time to rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Yes, what we need is a healer, a Jesus to walk amongst us and lay his hands on us. Or perhaps deploy reiki, polarity therapy, or a therapeutic touch (yes all these energy therapies, much loved in Newtown, have their own wiki - perhaps you should start with TT healing).
Suck it up citizens of Christchurch, contemplate the truth citizens of Japan, you have no idea of real suffering, not when there's a Sydneysider to squawk on the pond.
Let's hope writing the column was therapeutic for Jessica, because it certainly earns her a place right at the heart of the pond, throwing open a window and proclaiming how she's not going to stand it any more, and in the process showing she doesn't have one whit or jot or clue about the meaning of real suffering ...
It seems we're the lucky country, except when it comes the offerings of our correspondents ...
(Below: and now for the discerning gentleman reader, a continuing lighter moment, featuring Helen Mirren in a swimsuit, and NSFW? a younger Helen Mirren cutting the rug in Michael Powell's Age of Consent back when things weren't so crook in Tallarook. Click to enlarge, you happy Melbourne perverts).
Dorothy
ReplyDeleteI know you've put in the hard yards: you've done sterling work exposing Gerard Henderson's dreary blatherings for ages, the rampant idiocy from the Australian's editorial writer, and nearly anything oublished in the Punch, but dear absent lord wasn't Jessica Irvine's article the greatest piece of self pitying tripe you have ever seen?
We, the poor poor people of Sydney ... fetch me a bucket
Come clean Dorothy, you're just furious that the inner west didn't rate a mention in the thumbnail sketch of Sydney tribalism.
ReplyDeleteRe Bahrain, I'm as ignorant as the next punter but from my reading of the situation there, it may not be as pure as frustrated democrats railing against the monarchy. The Sunni monarchy in Bahrain represents a minority of the population; the demonstrators are drawn from the majority Shi'ite population. Bahrain has become a proxy in the struggle between Sunni Saudi and Shi'ite Iran. Choose your enemies wisely.
ReplyDeleteAs a Melbourne boy (although I haven't lived there since 1978), I always found Sydney to be a more ocker, more grasping and significantly less gracious and civilised place. Living in Canberra (and overseas) since 1986, with occasional forays north along the Hume, has only confirmed my belief. I blame the early history - convicts, rum rebellion, Macarthur etc.
ReplyDeleteAs former UK PM Jim Callaghan said: "You can stick your head out of your hotel window in Sydney and hear the sound of money rustling". It was always thus and probably always will be. Keating said that if you weren't living in Sydney you were living in the bush. I prefer the bush.
Yes I confess Herbert I was furious the inner west wasn't mentioned. After all the inner west is responsible for the imminent downfall of western civilisation. You might think that nothing in the scale of things, but we take pride in it ... that's why we have no time, GlenH for self pitying Sydneysiders as we push and prod the nation to the brink of destruction. Can I suggest you might need two buckets?
ReplyDeleteAs for Canberra being the bush, well said anon. I couldn't think of a better description of a town run by bushrangers. Me, I prefer a city. Sure I'd prefer the grasping in your face world of New York, but will have to settle for Sydney as a half way decent substitute (having tasted for many years the pleasures of Melbourne, Adelaide, and too many other towns I'm too embarrassed to mention).
And finally, if Doug can explain the difference between Saudi oppression and Iranian repression, he's a better man than me ...a pox on both their monarchical theocratic houses, and let the cards fall where they will, because the middle east ain't right, right now, and it needs a major fix.
Who knows, if all this had happened at the right time, Iran's ruling theocracy might now just be a dream ... (As usual it's the inner urban elites who can't stand the theocratic nightmare which is why the conservatives are agitated at the thought of actual democracy in the middle east, as opposed to comfortable deals with oppressive dictators ...)
Dorothy, if you think you inner westies are getting a bad rap now, just wait till you've replaced Carmel and Verity with Greens.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that I expressed a preference for Saudi or Iranian oppression, as Ms Parker seems to have inferred. What I said was that I have read the opinions of those who know the ME better than I do and my understanding from that reading is the anti-monarchists in Bahrain may be driven less by democracy than by Iranian-backed Shi'ites. As to the preferred outcome, you can choose your own enemies.
ReplyDelete