Tony Abbott, Jesus, and feeling the heat in Caesar's time ...

(Above: Tony Abbott proving once again it's a great day for a swim as he shows climate change believers the scientific way forward).

Here's the dilemma at the pond.

Lord knows, we have no affection for Chairman Rudd. We caught him posing outside his church yesterday in family mode, thanks to television news people with way too much time on their hands and gerbils* in their minds, and a shiver went down our spine.

I know, I know, the use of the royal 'we' is preening and preposterous, but how else can you deal with the Ruddster as his polls tank?

But next thing you know, just as things might be looking up for the Liberals, there's Tony Abbott turning up in the media, and when he's not talking about killing the goose that laid the golden egg, he's prattling like a goose:

Tony Abbott is under pressure to justify a claim to primary school students that it was considerably warmer when Jesus was alive than it is today.

The Opposition Leader urged year 5 and 6 students at Trinity Gardens Primary School in Adelaide to be sceptical about the human contribution to climate change, saying it was an open question.

During a question-and-answer session on Friday, Mr Abbott said that it was warmer ''at the time of Julius Caesar and Jesus of Nazareth'' than now. (here).

Say what? Does Abbott have a royal telephone, courtesy perhaps of Jimmy Little, that allows him to ask Jesus about the weather in Roman times? Not the new Rome based in Washington, the old Rome where Laurence Olivier took on Kirk Douglas.

I was so intrigued that I searched further, and got this from The Australian, here:

Mr Abbott asked the students if they knew about the Ice Age and if it "was caused by human beings".

"OK, so the climate has changed over the eons and we know from history, at the time of Julius Caesar and Jesus of Nazareth the climate was considerably warmer than it is now," Mr Abbott said.

"And then during what they called the Dark Ages it was colder. Then there was the medieval warm period. Climate change happens all the time and it is not man that drives those climate changes back in history.

"It is an open question how much the climate changes today and what role man plays."

Well we'll overlook him blaming man for the role he plays, as yet again women stay invisible. (Thought bubble ... what role people, or humanity plays. You know, try to sound inclusive, never mind that you come from a church run in patriarchal mode).

But dear lord, why did he feel the need to shoot off his mouth with this kind of condescending, erroneous tripe?

It does show the problem of talking down to kids. You can end up sounding dumber than the kids you're talking down to. Or as we used to say, durr brain (also spelled dur-brain).

Of course there were a few people, scientists even, that the media immediately consulted, and naturally they tried to set the record straight, by pointing out that Abbott was talking without the aid of a gerbil, and so apparently wasn't aware that any useful records sputtered out around a thousand years ago, and so we're left with some doubt as to whether Jesus needed sunglasses on a daily basis.

But that's like trying to explain to a dipstick that it's real purpose is to measure the oil level in a car.

It shows how a photo opportunity trip to bash the Ruddster over assorted matters by turning up at Trinity Gardens school can let loose the clowns in a one ring circus.

Here's Abbott's official line for the day - Tony Abbott Doorstop - Productivity Commission inquiry into disability services.

And what will the pond remember? Tony Abbott presenting the school with a new Australian flag? Tony Abbott talking seriously on substantive matters?

Nope, Tony Abbott banging on about Jesus and the weather.

It's a pity Abbott didn't read the thought of the week in the Trinity Gardens school newsletter wherein they explain the importance of ICT in learning, and deliver this homily:

Flexibility is being open to change. It means not always having to have your own way. It is being open to the opinions and feelings of others. With flexibility, you are willing to change your mind. If something doesn’t work, you try a new way. Flexibility is making changes for the better.

Now are you flexible? Are you up to the Tony Abbott challenge? Here's Jimmy Little, thoughtfully replete with images of people in prayer.

You will either feel a surge of pride at Australian culture. Or a surge of gerbils sending you in quest of an outside dunny.

Only on the pond can you find this level of cultural awareness ...

* the gerbils in this story have been brought to you by Miranda the Devine.

Update: speaking of gerbils and twitter, at least 402 people have sworn about Tony Abbott on Twitter. Unconvinced? Check out the details here, and remember it is okay to remain in a perpetual state of adolescence, provided the steam-letting producers mental release.