(Above: poster for a new movie Bronnie and the Flesh, still in development stage at the pond).
The valiant Nick Zenophon is busy arguing in support of a bill which would make lying to a minor an offence online. It seems offline you can say anything to the gullible young things and make off with whatever they have to offer in fine style. Unless, unless ... is there a law for that kind of thing?
Anyhoo, We need to be able to act when online alarm bells ring, Nick furiously scribbles, for Australia's most cheap skate conversation at The Punch, but I'm wondering why he's stopping there.
Surely lying to the electorate on or offline should be an offence, and we already have a confession from one miscreant that he does it regularly in the heat of the moment.
Lock him up and throw away the key I say, and while we're at it, that means every other politician in the country can be safely put away behind bars.
Then there are the commentating commentariat, who know how to dissemble and pervert the truth and distort, as they push their ideological barrows. They too should be on the prosecutor's list. Oops, does that mean the pond goes down as well? Steady, we might have to think a little more about that.
But at least shearing contractors who fail to turn up at work on Monday, and people who fail to put up flags on rugby fields should be open to prosecution and a decent fine.
And Nick himself should go down, because he has the cheek to finish his piece thus:
I am not about censoring the internet, and don’t support the Federal Government’s proposed internet filter because it will not work, and may lull parents into a false sense of security.
Well that's already worked terribly well in the real world, I guess, what with fraudsters and hustlers thrown into jail at a rate of a crim a minute. Like all those bank executives ...
But I do support trying to make the internet safer with tougher laws and by creating a greater awareness that the internet brings risks as well as opportunities.
We might as well abandon the budget process as we have known it. Traditionally the budget sets out what can be relied upon to occur in the financial year following its announcement.
But no longer – what we get is a good old socialist planned economy. Where as the forward estimates used to be an indicator of what would flow from the announced budget if nothing is changed in succeeding budgets.
Every now and again there is a flurry of interest in what a fake Bronwyn Bishop twitterer tweets. Such was the case last week when a particular journo did a mis report and used a fake tweet which he attributed to me.
In this day and age of cyber fraud it just goes to show you can’t believe all you see or read. One telephone call would have saved said Journo a heap of embarrassment.
But I do support trying to make the internet safer with tougher laws and by creating a greater awareness that the internet brings risks as well as opportunities.
Ten months for that bit of specious law and order, run for the hills, special pleading Nick, with three months off for good behaviour in persecuting Scientologists.
Meanwhile, The Punch is back on its reliable Facebook bashing path, with Leo Shanahan offering up How it became Facebook's fault. Guess it's hard to write compelling and controversial stories about MySpace, except perhaps how Chairman Rupert bought a healthy social network and turned it into a dead duck.
But these were only detours on the way to our true love, because Bronnie is back!
Go Bronnie, with When a Budget is not really a budget, which perhaps should read When an opposition's set of cuts isn't really a set of cuts. Or Why bother to tell the press what you propose to do when you're not quite sure yourself.
Bronnie is in terribly good form for a Mosman gal, and is keen to find socialists under the bed, and a centrally planned economy worthy of the Russians in the fifties, or Chairman Mao making great leaps forward:
We might as well abandon the budget process as we have known it. Traditionally the budget sets out what can be relied upon to occur in the financial year following its announcement.
But no longer – what we get is a good old socialist planned economy. Where as the forward estimates used to be an indicator of what would flow from the announced budget if nothing is changed in succeeding budgets.
Ah, such fine vintage cherry plum blackberry flavoured with a hint of cigar and earthiness rhetoric from the cold war days of the fifties. How it makes my cheeks redden and my eyes fill with tears at the memories. Back then you could get vintage port cheap, and a fine flor sherry for nothing, and you knew where you stood when it came to the socialist deviants and their central planning.
But in the end I was devastated. Much as I scoured Bronnie's text, and much as as she was on song with her talking points about tax, and the gang of four (lickspittle devious commie bastards), and the suffering of miners, and did I mention the gang of four, not once does she mention a "great big new tax".
Shocking! So cheap of Bronnie to try to avoid the dollar a use charge we've placed on it at the pond.
This bang for your buck, I hasten to add, isn't of course a tax, so much as a stipend, or perhaps a charge or a levy, rather like that we might place on business to support working parents.
Meanwhile, it seems Bronnie has been mis-represented, and if there was a case for sending adults off to prison for telling lies to minors, then surely this is the kind of evidence Nick should be leading, because tricking journalists is as outrageous as taking candy from a baby.
Yep, it's a great argument for outing everybody on the intertubes, and ending all this anonymity and pen names, and thereby telling people to stop lying about themselves, and instead get the sack for saying things that might bring their bosses or their businesses into disrepute, and making sure that their addresses and phone numbers are made available to politicians and everyone and anyone on line ... oh wait, they tried that in South Australia, and the politicians wanted their details kept private. Damn.
Never mind, here's the scam as that old trooper Bronnie takes it all on the chin like the tough sergeant major boots and leather with a hint of spit old gal she is:
So for a nice segue, mis speak, mis promise, mis represent plain old mis report. All are falsities and in this contemporary world of cyberspace there is plenty of room for mistakes. Twitter is a classic. Tony Abbott had his fair share of fake Tony Abbott Twitterers. Julie Bishop has been known to have them as do I. For myself, I do not tweet. Yes I use Facebook but I do not use Twitter.
Oh fair crack of the whip Bronnie, a suck on that sauce bottle, surely you tweet. If there's any definitional juice in the word, your contributions to The Punch are always a tweet.
Oh hang on, there's something else going down. Nick!
Every now and again there is a flurry of interest in what a fake Bronwyn Bishop twitterer tweets. Such was the case last week when a particular journo did a mis report and used a fake tweet which he attributed to me.
In this day and age of cyber fraud it just goes to show you can’t believe all you see or read. One telephone call would have saved said Journo a heap of embarrassment.
Especially as the journo could simply have read Bronnie's blathering.
As for the goose journo? Come on down Paul Bongiorno who follows the fake Bishop Twitter:
... "Bishop" keeps accruing new followers (nearly up to 700) for her spasmodic tweets, the latest lobbing on Thursday: "Splendid budget reply speech by Tony Abbott, though I hope Joe Hockey will spell out some real savings initiatives next week." Happily, we hear that the following night, Ten's political editor Paul Bongiorno revealed on the evening news, "Bronwyn Bishop for one could be looking for more. She thought Mr Abbott's speech splendid, although she hopes Joe Hockey will spell out some real savings." (here).
We're indebted to the same report for news that Bronnie is going to be on the Sunshine Coast this Saturday, where you can enjoy breakfast with Bronnie for twenty five bucks a head, and the company of bonus real politicians Peter Slipper and Mark McArdle. Or you could just eat a bowl of porridge by yourself. Either way, be ready for indigestion ...
Meanwhile, if you want some further Tweet fun, look no further than back in March when the fake Bronnie also put out this message: Mr Rudd needs to rule out US-style death panels from his health care "reform" plan. (full story here).
My problem? The fake Bronnie simply lacks the chutzpah, the style, the nineteen fifties rhetorical flourishes of the real Bronnie. Now if only the Tweet had read:
Mr Rudd's gang of four need to rule out a centrally planned economy with five year great leaps forward. Or otherwise confirm that we now must all carry Mao's little red book!
Damn, too many characters.
How about Gng 4 ruinz Oz?
(Below: we've been assured that this is NOT the fake Bronnie Bishop).
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