Thursday, May 31, 2018

In which the pond celebrates the return of Moorice ...

Oh steady on, jayrobbo, that's a bit rich, who said that the mighty Moorice was in any way pretending to be a journalist, when everyone knows he's one of the most famous climate scientists doing the rounds, with heaps of peer-reviewed studies and epic boots-on-the-ground treks to climate hotspots around the world to reinforce his studies with practical, hard-won experience.

To call that journalism entirely misses the point, and besides, the pond resents you summing up the entire point of the pond in a single sentence.

"To call what you do journalism is laughable" sent the pond off in search of a copyright action, but lamentably the pond has never managed to be so concise …

Never mind, the reptiles are facing an existential crisis, and you should have been a bit more caring. Look at how the digital edition joined together these two stories this morning ...

Talk about mortifying, talk about a dire threat to manly existence …

The pond, and most women the pond knows, judges the size of a man's penis by the size of his car's exhaust pipes.

And now! This is the sort of ball-breaking leftist feminism that threatens to ruin the country!!

Oh there's nothing like two large, throbbing, pulsing exhaust pipes to induce a sense of sexual excitement in the pond …

Where were we? Back with Moorice and the pond wildly excited that for once the reptiles have let the beast out of his cage to stalk the earth with his shattering findings …

What's that you say? He's having yet another go at their ABC …

Oh dear, who'd have thunk it, but as they say, it's hard to take the stripes off a tiger, and as for the spots on Moorice's leopard ...

Now here the pond confesses it has nothing to say, except admire Moorice and his exceptional rhetoric, in much the same way that when the doddering mad uncle comes down from the attic, it's best to say nothing if the aim is to avoid setting off a ranting fit about clouds, lawns, and whatever else is passing by ...

Okay, in the manner of sweet Orwellian sophistry, the tirade directed at Brissenden seems to have sweet fuck all to do with Moorice's header about climate propaganda as science at the ABC, but steady, troops, that's just Moorice warming up … a bit like the planet …

Where would we be without Moorice mentioning that dreaded socialist a couple of times? (Does Moorice realise that George was an actual, living, gasp, onetime breathing socialist?)

And so to more on the ABC ...

Hmm, on the matter of Brown Brothers, it seems that it wasn't just Brissenden.

Why there was Rebecca Huntley back on 4th December 2016, How climate change is affecting the wine we drink:

...When John returned to Milawa in regional Victoria after finishing boarding school in 1958, he harvested his first vintage of grapes in the early days of April.  
Fifty years later, the grapes are off the vines by April, with picking often starting in February. Within a generation, the harvest start date has shifted along with the climate in the valley. It's a dramatic indication of how climate change is affecting the way we make wine in Australia. 
"It's probably more apparent in terms of earlier ripening, more rapid ripening and more compact vintages," said Brett McClen, Brown Brothers' chief viticulturist, responsible for six vineyards in Victoria and Tasmania. "We are working with shorter time frames. Once upon a time a vintage would have taken 100 days but we do the bulk of it within 60 days," he said. 
This earlier and compressed vintage poses a real challenge right through the chain of production. "It puts enormous pressure on the processing logistics, the winery infrastructure," said Mr McClen. "You can only put a certain number of grapes through processing at a time. These days we do a lot of white varieties and they require refrigeration as well." 
A condensed harvest means the clock is ticking for growers, who have to get the fruit off the vine before it is over-ripe. Riper fruit makes for higher alcohol wines, which is great if you're 18 and looking to get smashed, but hurts winemakers.
"Quality can be impacted by higher alcohol levels and it impacts export markets," explained Mr McClen. "There is a consumer preference for lighter, lower alcohol wines. Some of the big overseas retailers actually don't want alcohol levels over a certain per cent." 
As a response to the changing climate in Victoria, Brown Brothers have invested in vineyards in Tasmania. In 2010 they purchased land in Tamar Ridge and on the island's east coast. 
According to Mr McClen, this was a response to both climate change and consumer interest in wines Tasmania excels at such as pinot noir. While he sees a strong future for wine in Victoria, the Tasmanian investment is about adapting and risk mitigation. 
"Brown Brothers is a multi-generational business," he said. "They are willing to take a 50-year approach to things."

The pond urgently looked around and found that Brown Brothers was a bit leery about getting into the climate science debate with a bunch of crazies, and it turned out that Moorice was just channeling another climate change crazy, IPA loon Jennifer Marohasy, scribbling furiously for the Speccie mob about Brown Brothers back on 30th April 2018. (No link because of the risk to mental health, but easily googled).

It seems poor old Brissenden had just been recycling an ABC favourite illustrating the changing landscape due to climate change, but was immediately consigned to Orwellian hell for his recycling cheek by the IPA Speccie mob and Moorice …

Well, the pond could do for Moorice what he did to Brissenden, by wandering down memory lane to the time when Malware kicked him out of his onion muncher appointment, but that's easily recalled by heading off to the Graudian for Maurice Newman claims to be head of business council disbanded by Turnbull …

Ah, glory days …it's hard being the mad uncle sent to the attic.

As for the rest of the science? Well it's Moorice, so actually it's just more of the ranting.

Watch out clouds, stand clear of lawns ...

There you go jayrobbo. The pond insists on a correction.

What you should have written was "To call what you do informed commentary is laughable".

Now perhaps the reptiles could answer a simple question. How soon will you get rid of your paywall so that we can all read your laughable commentary for free, as you try to demonstrate there's no need for public broadcasting?

Well if you've got to give away Sky for free, on what deluded warming planet do you expect people to pay for the pleasure of reading Moorice?

Good luck with your answer, and in the meantime, here's a Pope having fun with reptile fears, with more papery to hand at The Canberra Times here ...


  1. About "summing up the entire point of the pond in a single sentence"; that's was funny and a good call, but it's the journey, the pathway toward the point, not the point itself, that is the meaning of life and the basis of a civilisation. I particularly enjoyed today's journey.

  2. I've spoken with Brett McClen on this issue and its funny how Moorice comes to the conclusion that 2+2 must equal 5...

    As described above, Brett advised they're having to move some grape varieties to the cooler Tasmanian climate and change some of the varieties they're growing in Milawa.

    So because land is not being sold in VIC - Moorice's obvious conclusion is Climate Change is a con?

    I mean what other meaning could you make of this retirees question to the wine maker?

  3. Ah but you must remember that for Moorice the answer to every question that could ever be asked is: (1) climate change is fake news (2) Moorice is always right !

    Is simple, yes ?

  4. Good gracious lord! One fears just a little for the few remaining people that take Moorice seriously.

    Brown Brothers made the very canny decision to purchase fertile land in Tasmania, and grow grapes in Tasmania specifically to adapt to climate change. They are planning long term, and their wisdom has been shared by several like minds. They will convert their Victorian stocks to hotter climate grapes as the years go by. They already are.

    This is hardly complicated, but Moorice seems to have got it all wibbly-wobbly. Again.

  5. At what stage do we the taxpayers request The Australian simply stop wasting our public servants' time with their publishing unedited screed by doddering old gentle-persons?

    1. Hardly needed saying, did it. Whatever Moorice propounds, the actual opposite is much more likely to be true.

      What I can't get any sort of handle on is when, ever, in his life, Moorice has actually made sense.


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