The pond is wildly excited and pleased to announce a joint venture with the NSW Liberal state government involving an exciting new infrastructure venture.
The scheme will involve digging a vast hole ... and then filling it in, and it will cost a modest $2.3 billion, and have a CBR of close to 0.
Some cynics have already attacked the venture, but the pond knows there's a vast number of tourists who will pay squillions to travel to NSW to watch the hole being dug, while squillions more will turn up to see the ritual filling in ...
And thus are the people and John Maynard Keynes made happy, with the state government realising the plan is much more sensible than burying banknotes in the ground and digging them up again. Why soil banknotes, when the hole will do?
Forget all that talk about NSW infrastructure in need of repair; pay no heed to that recent story in The New Yorker about saving a 1931 bridge and making it accommodate a new generation of ships by simply raising the height of the road (currently outside the paywall in New York's Majestic Passage in the Sky ...revamping the Bayonne Bridge to make space for megaships).
Stupid extenders of infrastructure life ... we've already knocked down and rebuilt Darling Harbour, and the hole scheme will be a megatriumph. It will be noted that the Terror has already hailed the scheme, with its modest splash, "Revealed The Winner Is ... Sydney" ...
Don't mind that tuft of hair over the banner, that's just a thugby leaguer in a spot of bother ...
What's that you say? Instead of coming up with harebrained schemes, the state government should be allowed to get on with the business of splashing out $2.3 billion to knock down a couple of stadiums and re-build them, for the sake of thugby league without any insolent mockery?
We should ignore Fairfaxians scribbling furiously With perfect schools, hospitals and transport, why not spend on Sydney stadiums?
And instead the pond should just get on with the usual business of the day, reading Sharri's insightful political analysis?
Well it's true that the Terrorists couldn't rustle up an opinionista to celebrate the pond-state government joint venture, and somehow a secularist got into the mix too ...
And it's true that another tourist scheme - bunging on an exciting "parade of the fuckwits, NSW government ministers attending photo ops" - would probably attract as many tourists, but that sort of advanced thinking is for another day ...
So Sharri it is ... and why not begin with a snap of Malware holding hands with a brutal, thuggish killer of a politician?
Yes, yes, but you said ScoMo was on the rise ... whither ScoMo?
Oh miaow with the pearls and diamonds ... and what was in the foreign policy white paper?
Don't you worry about that. Sharri isn't in thinking pose this week, Sharri is in a tabloid mood ...
Now let's get on with the ScoMo revival ... you see, together Sharri and Miranda the Devine might still manage to bring this political giant back to the leadership ...
Sharks?! Hmm, that reminds the pond of its scheme to fill Sydney harbour with sharks and block off Sydney heads with a giant wall. What an aquarium that would make. How the tourists would turn up in droves to marvel at the bright idea and the sharks.
Are you listening state government? The pond is alive with plans with the future ...
In the meantime, please allow Sharri to deal with a few dropkick dissenting backbenchers, creating leadership chaos and much confusion ...
Indeed, indeed, and happily the pond is exceptionally pleased to advise that the ministerial instability and speculation about the leadership has absolutely nothing to do with the reptiles' ongoing compulsion to publish stories about leadership instability and Malware the dud ...
What's that? Malware's a dud, ScoMo's a dropkick loser with seven votes tops, and Jules the asbestos lawyer is a woman, and so we need say no more, and we may as well all vote in Comrade Bill?
Damn you Bolter, damn you and your destabilising far left socialist reptilian kind ...
Is it any wonder that the pond always turns to the astute political analysis of a Rowe for signs of hope and life, with more lively Rowe here?
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