In which the pond settles for the Ughmann and the Angelic one, because why bother with losers who didn't make the top twenty?

 

Spring is about to sprung, but at the pond ennui is in the air, as well as reptile allergens ...

For a change, the pond thought it might open with a flourish directed at Crikey. 

It seems that Chris Berg has decided to set up shop there, a dangerous move, though possibly inexpensive.

The moment the pond reads a click bait trolling headline like this: "Telegram founder’s arrest is radical — if it’s a crime to build privacy tools, there will be no privacy" - then the pond's eyes immediately glaze over ...

It's no crime to build privacy tools, the crime is to allow privacy tools to hide criminal activity. 

The pond realises that loons are proudly concerned about Democrats molesting children in basements below pizza stores with non-existent basements, but a far more likely way to molest children is via an app which hides the deed, and for which the owner allegedly fails to introduce effective monitoring. 

Telegram says it does, French authorities say it doesn't, let the courts decide, but in the meantime let there be no blather about privacy for the molestation of children, unless you happen to be Tuckyo Rose, Uncle Elon or Chris Berg.

Sure this sort of idle provocation generates clicks and exasperated comments, like this from a certain drsmithy, starting with a Bergian flourish:

"In other words, the French claim is that Durov developed a tool — a chat program that allowed users to turn on some privacy features — used by millions of people, and some small fraction of those millions used the tool for evil purposes. "
No, the French claim is that Durov’s company is very uncooperative when it comes to legal requests for information from Telegram about suspects under investigation. I can say this with confidence and no need to speculate, because it’s the second bullet point in the list of French accusations you linked to but obviously did not read (or did and have chosen to lie about):
“Refus de communiquer, sur demandes des autorités habilitées, les informations ou documents nécessaires pour la réalisation et l’exploitation des interceptions autorisées par la loi”
Which Google translate tells me is, in English:
“Refusal to communicate, upon request from the authorized authorities, the information or documents necessary for the performance and exploitation of interceptions authorized by law”
Additionally, if you go and read reporting about this that isn’t just the usual wannabe tax evaders libertarian chicken-littling, the French authorities are being very clear that is the reason, and it’s not just them having the problem, but a bunch of other European Governments as well.
So, it seems reasonably safe to assume that every other accusation involving “complicity” is a product of his organisation’s consistent refusal to answer legal requests, rather than because he simply “developed a tool”.
As an analogy, consider that the police had the phone number of a suspected paeodphile discussing one of his crimes via text message, and Telstra refused to provide that information when presented with a formal request. They’re not doing the wrong thing because they run a mobile phone service, they’re doing the wrong thing because they’re not assisting a police investigation when requested.
I’m not sure many people would consider this is “a radical position”. Indeed, even if you replaced “paedophile” with “bicycle thief”, I doubt many people would find it particularly outrageous.
This entire hysterical rant is based on a false premise that is the product of stupidity, wilful ignorance, or deception. Given old mate is associated with the IPA and ATA, and boasts about being part of the “Blockchain Innovation Hub” it could easily be all three.

Well yes. If the pond wants IPA lite or heavy, it knows where to go. Crikey needn't try to match up ...

There were many more comments including the usual from the barking mad loons that cluster at the site, but if this is the trolling, click baiting tip of the libertarian iceberg, then Crikey is likely to be off the pond's map. If the pond wants inane arguments, there's always the reptiles and they're always on splendid parade in their Easter bonnets in the weekend Oz ...

Before going there, as a correspondent noted, how could the pond resist noting the splendid news in yesterday's Weekly Beast?

Possessed of only a modest level of self-awareness, the pond at least knew it had long been in the grip of a niche cult product, the work of a wild-eyed dangerous clique, a bunch of extremists well outside the mainstream, and that few on planet earth 2.0 shared the pond's bizarre desire to plunge into the maelstrom.

Then came the evidence ...

The pond ventures to suggest that if it wasn't for the ABC constantly recycling reptile talking points and giving them respectability in "what's in the papers today" type idiocies, no one would know or care what the reptiles wrote or thought ...

Weirdly, News Corp stays in the game by offering a free news service, news.com.au, which studiously avoids lizard Oz extremism and has no paywall. 

But do the lizards of Oz ever learn that lesson? Does News Corp? Nope, the same old stew, the same old slops, the same old gruel, is served up day after day, while the pond holds out its bowl and begs for more niche clique cult gruel please ...

Something broke in the pond this day, and the desire to tip the gruel on the floor was overwhelming. 

The reptiles have hit on the trick of dragging some of their commentary away from the far right column, embedding them in what allegedly passes for "news".

So there was nattering "Ned" blathering on about Gaza as the genocide goes down and the pond simply couldn't do it.

Above him was Dame Slap, blathering on about the Voice, and the pond simply couldn't do it. Dame Slap opened this way ...

There was a time when the Yes side infuriated me with the shallow quality of their “debate”. Now the Yes side bores me. It has been 10 months since the proposal to change our Constitution failed, and its proponents still have not moved past the second stage of grief. They are now wallowing in anger. Why did this happen, who is to blame? Someone, please wake me up when the bloodletting stops. Even better, let’s hope they get to the final stage – acceptance – soon. Please.

She's bored? Sure, she went on to give the craven Craven a serve, and who can argue the pleasure of doing that when boredom strikes, but what about the real world, which might explain the wallowing in anger ...

What a contemptible woman she is, how complacent, and smug and self-satisfied. At least the Cheshire cat had the decency to fade away, just leaving the smirk, but Dame Slap lacks the class of even an average moggy ...

Well the pond will leave matters in the west to the sandgropers who drop by, while the pond contemplated what to do to fill up the space with a standard serve of pap and pablum, or,  if you will, pabulum, and for that what you need is a failed seminarian doing climate science denialism...

Come on down Ughmann, fill the void with inanity ...

Who else but the Ughmann could open in this fashion ...

Illiteracy about how the world actually works is everywhere but is often paraded by some of the nation’s allegedly most highly educated people, if you can take scribbling for the Oz as a sign of education. Take the Ughmann, failed seminarian, failed wannabe politician, wretched novelist and onetime security guard. Go on, take him, according to that chart nobody much wants him ... see how the preening prat starts off his course in smug condescension ...

The pond knows how this denialist game works. Toss trippingly off the tongue references to the Haber-Bosch process and you can sound like a genuine scientist ...

Confuse and conflate and meanwhile if you step outside the hive mind, you can discover shocker stories like this one in the Graudian ...

They'd rather do anything than tackle the bleeding obvious ...and so would the Ughmann ...

Wondering about that link, not working in the screen cap? 

Fear not, it's not an actual meaningful link, it's the Ughmann quoting the Ughmann, a way to keep the readership inside the hive mind ... just a sampling of what you missed by not having a hot link ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, the pond had forgotten the Ughmann's use of Latin to give himself an ersatz form of pundit respectability ... but at least those outside the hive mind know why the lizard Oz is outside the top twenty ...

The pond will settle for just one gesture. The abolition of the lizard Oz in tree killer form (the tabloids could also go the way of the dinosaurs). 

The pond can imagine a future where an actual newspaper is passed around in class with a mix of bewilderment and bemusement on faces ...

At this point the reptiles slipped in a trolling, click bating video ...

Usually the pond wouldn't bother, but as Alex Epstein is being name dropped, allow the pond to link to his DeSmog listing...

There's a lot more at the link, this will have to do as a citation ...

Oh yes, warming and then greening is good, and off to the cornfield with him.

And while the pond is outside the hive mind, time for a pre-emptive strike, because Geoff Bongers is a name mentioned by the Ughmann in his final gobbet.

It turns out that he's a "nuke the country to save the planet" (soft paywall) character (though there's hardly any need, what with beneficial warming and greening ...)

And so to the final gobbet, the Bongering and all the rest ...

What a prize maroon. Apparently it's news to the Ughmann that we're addicted to plastics and that they've even joined RFK Jr's brain worm in our brains ...

Instead of wandering through the Ughmann's list of the obvious, a painfully ignorant and inept form of denialism, why not head off to The Conversation to read about hose microplastics?

So why did the pond go down the Ughmann path? Well now people know how many holes are needed to fill the reptiles' climate science hall ...

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly, I'm cryin'

Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Saturday
Man, you've been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long

I am the Ughmann
They are the Ughmenn
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob

And so to the bonus and a little light relief with the Angelic one, because bashing furriners is always fun, even if it leads to very funny logic ...

Yes, it's back to blather about the 'leets ...

Of course the Angelic one and other reptiles can do this because they don't even get into the top twenty these days ...

So deeply, deeply weird, and yet to be fair, not a single mention of childless cat ladies ... nor even a decent history lesson ...

The pond gets it. A barking mad fundamentalist Catholic is always going to want to go gay bashing with barking mad fundamentalist evangelicals and barking mad fundamentalist Islamics.

Why if the Angelic one wanted to keep the company of the Taliban, she'd be relieved of the burden of scribbling and could stay safely in her home ... but she hasn't quite reached that level of Xian values yet ...

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Why that's almost Taliban in its purity of intent ...

Indeed, indeed, and none of that riffraff you might encounter with all the awkwardness diversity might involve. 

We might all pray to different gods, but we know all those different gods truly hate teh gayz ...

On and on she rambled ...

Could it be that constantly bashing teh gayz can provoke?

Never mind, at this point the reptiles slipped in one of their classic gotcha question click bait videos ...

Sharri, full disrespect, apparently can't understand it's possible to rub head and tum in alternate motions at the very same time... like it's possible to be both appalled by the Taliban and appalled by the current genocide being produced by barking mad Jewish fundamentalists in response to barking mad Islamics on a killing spree...

Thank the long absent lord the pond is an atheist and has now reached the final gobbet of barking mad fundamentalist Catholic blather ...

Maybe just occasionally rethink values that persecute minorities or the rights of women or teh gayz or ... 

Oh never mind, the pond was only providing further evidence why the reptiles are outside the top twenty.

If you wanted rocket science, why are you here? Oh, you wanted an immortal Rowe for a closer... the pond can help dig that grave ...

And that reminds the pond of another thing it wants to mention. 

How useless has Snopes become? 

If you google it and the mango Mussolini and bleach, you come up with all sorts of attempts to wriggle the camel through the eye of a needle ...

The latest turned up a week ago here: Fact Check: Trump Didn't Say People Should 'Inject Bleach' To Tackle COVID-19. Here's What He Said ... which is why this TT was so satisfying ... 

First check out the third panel ...

Meanwhile those just following orders presented to hospital with ailments arising from the injecting of bleach.

Check it all out and soon you could be arguing points with the style and conviction of the Angelic one, and your path outside the top 20 will become an even easier slippery slope ...

In which there's our Henry going full Aristotle, and Jennie showing her steel, and Killer too ...just being Killer, which is more than enough...

 

Thank the long absent lord it's Friday, when, to use correct ABC phrasing, the old hole in the bucket man can be relied upon to deliver an extremely unique approach to reptile commentary.

The pond can even stomach celebrations of genocide if the ornate stylings, if the pomposity and portentous pretentiousness, are done in a way that adds a veneer of illustrious stupidity to proceedings. Want to organise and pardon a mass killing?Name drop Aristotle and it'll all be good ...

Before going there, the pond would like to address previous business matters before the meeting. 

Back on Wednesday, the pond noted Mr Watson deduces it's gas, but in the way of later pond outings couldn't move beyond the basic absurdity to provide any analysis. 

Luckily yesterday Graham Readfearn did so yesterday in the Graudian, in Without new gas, the Australian warns, an ‘energy crisis’ is nigh – but is the scary rhetoric justified?

Doubtless later in the day the Weekly Beast will provide fresh reptile points of order, but the pond now feels comfortable moving on, into the ancient rhetoric lurking in the bowels of the beast...

That gets the snap designed to get the aged reptile demographic agitated out of the way. It's much more upsetting than seeing this sort of image ...

... or picking up this sort of gobbet from Al Jazeera ...

Sorry, the pond realises readers are only here for the Thucydides references and will try to find a few...

Yes, never mind the genocidal slaughter, now extended to the West Bank, feel the pain of the hole in bucket one ... and see the snaps ...

The pond realises it promised arcane, pompous and portentous references, but devotees will have to stick through the next short gobbet ...

Indeed, indeed, there's nothing like watching ethnic cleansing, collective displacement and punishment, and genocidal behaviour to provoke adolescent rage.

If only these impulsive sorts had the grandiosity of a Henry, able to cull ancient history for arcane references. The pond is sorry it couldn't do Thucydides, but dammit, Aristotle and de Tocqueville and Ciceroh, oh Ciceroh, will do just as well ...

The pond has no doubt all that's extremely comforting, producing a state of ecstatic bliss and forgiveness ,...

And that brings the pond to the final gobbet of humbug as the collective cleansing unfolds elsewhere ...

Speaking personally, the pond is pleased it's in its current sorry state; there could be worse sorry states, like being a Palestinian civilian staring down the barrel of a gun, or a Ukrainian civilian scanning the skies for signs of the lates glide bomb delivered by Vlad the sociopath's minions...

But wait, there's more, much more ... especially for those who noted that the reptiles were this day peddling Gina's thoughts, a reminder of just how IPA the lizard Oz has become in recent years. 

But why worry about Gina, when you have Jennie?

Splendid stuff, almost worthy of Gina and the IPA ... and speaking of which, the pond should at least mention Gina ...

But why worry about hearty bush gal Gina, when you have bush gal Jennie? 

And when you make it past a couple of snaps and a click bait video there's more Jennie to come...

The pond supposes it will be reprimanded for not arguing, for leaving the hard yards to others, but so long as there's a Readfearn or a Quiggin to hand, why bother?

The pond certainly isn't going to provide links to heretical stories such as Talk isn't enough: Pacific nations say Australia must end new fossil fuel projects because people might click on them and then leave the pond reptile collective hive mind, and where would the world and Jennie be then?

No doubt some are wondering why the pond didn't follow that link which opened up the gobbet, but lordy lordy, who wants to hear about the unjust and unfair treatment of cartel behaviour?

Meanwhile, Jennie is still tumbling all the way with BlueScope ...

And then just to prove that our Henry isn't the only one who can wander back to past times to produce a plan, Jennie does a beauty ...

If the pond might add a note, it would be to suggest that we above all need a planet that's liveable, and if things keep going the way they are, blather about national security and steel making will be like a snowball in a desert ...

Take your pick for some alternative reading - US Today for US county dwellers, the ABC for snow season, PreventionWeb for heat or The Conversation for more heat.

The pond isn't worried by any of it, because it has Killer Creighton's letter from America to hand ...

Now let's be fair, it's a tough gig for Killer, who's very partial to a serve of RFK Jr., who is partial to a serve of bear, or perhaps head of whale and never mind the juices flowing into the van. Who can't remember and lament the forgotten days when his father and uncle scoured the wilds in search of a source of brain worms?

What's all this bloody MAGA style and substance carry on? 

Why can't things be like they once were? Why can't we get back to old-fashioned truth and decency?

The pond slipped that mango Mussolini "truth" in as Killer yearned for the days of Bubba ...

If the pond has one criticism of that line up, it's the singular failure of Killer or the lizard Oz to feature the latest line in digital trading cards, with bonus piece of suit ...

Gee, that looks like a cult, it even smells like a cult, it certainly charges like a cult.

Relax, Killer shows a remarkable ability not to cringe, cops love the man ...

Indeed, indeed, but what can you expect from godless librarians, childless cat ladies and dangerous molesters of children in a basement below a pizza store without a basement? Luckily the pond doesn't eat cornflakes, and spitting muesli is inadvisable ...

Meanwhile, JD is still whipping up a storm ...

Haters gunna hate (paywall)

We're now a very long way from references to Cicero and Aristotle, with Killer still in the grip of that Clinton fever ...

Why is the pond surprised that Killer is in the Tuckyo Rose school of Putin pandering?

Why is the pond surprised by anything these days?

It's been something of an epic trek, from Aristotle to Killer, but at last the final gobbet is ready to land, and be ready for some complex analysis, and if you can't make any sense of it, then you're bloody fired, and can leave the building under armed guard ...

What joy that Killer should be appalled by any party dedicated to the filthy rich, why these days he's almost Marxist, if it wasn't for the unfortunate way he's also Murdochian ...so many sun kings to worship, so little time...

And now if all that hasn't been enough, here's to the current Australian government doing its bit to minorities, thanks to the infallible Pope ...