In which the pond scores the usual Monday reptile trifecta - the Caterist, the Killer subbing for the long-lost Oreo and the Major ... with a musical bonus for radical feminists and Nazis ...

 

So radical feminists are hanging around with Nazis and vice versa, and all so they can put in the boot to trans folk?

It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up, fucked up world, no doubt about it, girls will be Nazi loving boys, and Nazi loving boys will be girls, but then the pond has had to develop a hide of weary cynicism, thanks to its long time with the reptiles ...

Best thing to do if you happen to be a reptile? Sweep the whole sorry Potterish spectacle under a rug and get on with doing what reptiles do best ... nuke the country ... and who better than the Caterist, expert flood waters in quarries whisperer and in his spare time, SMR enchantress ...

Forget the usual Caterist celebration of the liar from the Shire and the mutton Dutton. It isn't easy but it can be done, especially as the pond is now obsessed with the lizard Oz graphics department, and is constantly being triggered, and sure enough the reptiles set up a trigger in the next gobbet which completely swept the Caterist from mind ...

 

Ah the Anglo-spheric V for Victory, and all that, but meanwhile over at the Graudian there's been a series of stories examining the legacy of the US-led invasion of Iraq in 2003 ...

It hasn't exactly been good times for war mongers, what with stories of the kind: ‘The US army destroyed our lives’: five Iraqis on the war that changed the Middle East and A bloody delusion: how Iraq war led to catastrophic aftermath in Middle East.

Or perhaps A million lives later, I cannot forgive what American terrorism did to my country, Iraq ...

And over at The New Yorker you might read The GOP and the ghosts of Iraq if you still have a freebie ...

But enough of alternative realities, it's always unsettling when inside the reptile world, and soon enough we'll get on to that Caterist SMR dreaming ...

How the Caterist and other reptiles yearn to nuke the country, but to what avail? Ever since the pond began its reptile studies, it learned that climate science was just a cruel hoax, and we could go on with coal forever ... why they loved the liar from the Shire and his celebration of that lovely black diamond ...

Look at the delight on Barners face, pure unsullied pleasure, and there's the poodle with a broad grin, and even Malware has a wry smile, happy times indeed, but now for some obscure reason we must nuke the country using SMRs?

While the Caterist rails against the wind and the sun - damn you sunlight, damn you wind, hold back the tides while you're at it - there's no need for the pond to trigger itself again by reading stories such as Why Small Modular Nuclear Reactors Won’t Help Counter the Climate Crisis.

The pond and its correspondents have been there many times before thanks to the current reptile obsession, up there with devotion to coal, and instead the pond would like to note the illustration at the top of this last short gobbet ...

Why take note of that snap of the French clock lover ticking off points, while the sublime Caterist resolutely shows no shame or embarrassment about his flood water in quarries whispering?

Well it shows how dire and desperate the graphics department is to break up the reptiles and make them seem more visually palatable ... but all that does is produce some tired repetitions in the plating ...

Yes, thar the snap blows again, this time to make the Killer seem visually interesting, beguiling and readable ...

But can the reptiles distract from Killer's killer isolationist message?

Killer running up the white flag before a shot's been fired? But Killer is now off with the isolationists in the GOP, with a dash of pro-Putin authoritarianism for flavouring ...

It's a bit more complicated than that? 

Putin is a freedumb fighter, fighting for freedumb?

Never mind, apparently it's only a territorial dispute, at least if you're a lover of Ron DeSanctus ... and so to another stupefyingly banal snap as a distraction, as if looting the Yalta archives wasn't enough ...

But before we get to that snap of a plane flying over a sub, the pond must ask if Killer has caught up with that story in The Atlantic?

Not that one A Devastating Toxin Is Bubbling Up From the Permafrost. (mercury). That would only get the Caterist agitated, what with its talk of climate science.

No, the one that suggests we still don't know, and perhaps will never know, and yet there it was, The Strongest Evidence Yet That an Animal Started the Pandemic.

Please, just leave Killer be, mask-free and still blathering on about the unlikely natural origin hypothesis ...

Inherently peaceful? With Benji on the loose in the middle east, up against the mad Mullahs of Iran, the North Koreans always needy, always ready to bung on a do to get attention, Vlad the impaler on the prowl, and Xi himself getting ready to bung on a do, and so on and so forth? It must be tremendously comforting to live in a Killer bubble ...

And so finally to the Major, and the pond wanted to run Killer first, because it shows that the Major has to do battle on many fronts ...

Yes, it was another snap of the French clock man - such a terrible graphics department - and meanwhile elsewhere in the rag ...

It wasn't 34 minutes ago, it was out and about last night, but the pond only mentions it as evidence that the French clock lover had got up the noses of all sorts of snooty people ... they don't like cold steely words up them, do they?

It's the old "Ned" trick, recycle the thoughts of others, and you won't have to do much thinking yourself, but what of Killer's words in this context? Didn't the Major read Killer before doing his column? Is he aware of the perfidy, neigh thoughts verging on treason, that are coming from within the reptile house?

Apparently not, and around this time the pond began to beg for a snap, any sort of snap, just to break up the flow of the verbal diarrhoea...

Oh dear, the Major should have read his Thucydides, or at least his Killer... how our hole in the bucket man would have been proud ...

Some days, the pond thinks the reptiles just set out to confuse the pond's brain into thinking that boys will be girls and girls will be boys in this mixed up, shook up, muddled world ... but thankfully there's just a small gobbet of confusion to go ...

Ah yes, the NDIS, that famous reptile whipping horse, because there's nothing like persecuting the defenceless to get a reptile aroused. If you happen to have a bully for a boss, you'll likely end up a bully ...

And so to the immortal Rowe of the day ...

It's unlikely that the mango Mussolini would deem his great friend the scum of the earth, but the pond does appreciate the tradition, which began with the original ...

And then took in all kinds of variations ...

And now for those who've lasted this long, a chance for radical feminists and Nazis to join in a singalong ...

Come on radical feminists, girlies can sing along too ...

Don't feel left out, Nazis. 

Put a picture of some fine radical feminist filly on the wall, and do what comes naturally to you ... when you're not saluting, you can always keep that hand and those fingers busy when you contemplate your radical feminist Lily ...

You won't feel so lonely at night, oh radical feminist Lily, oh Lily, you'll likely solve your childhood problem and feel alright, in fact you won't feel bad at all, you'll sleep at night as you and your radical feminist filly are together in your dreams ... and best of all, you can dress up like a girlie, or at least like Pete Moon with handsome ruffles ...