Monday, March 27, 2023

In which it's business as usual at the lizard Oz, and there's nothing more usual than a serving of the Caterist and the Major ... (film naming rights reserved) ...

 


You won't find any cheap shots or easy jibes on this blog. This is a serious blog, and the sight of any creature suffering isn't a fit occasion for mirth, laughs or ribald comments ...






No, there'll be no mockery, as lamentations fill the reptile void ...while poseurs do cruel things to the lizard Oz banner ...







But the weekend saw something of a cruel blow, so how to find comfort? 

Why, turn to the man who lost his seat as well as an election, berate the unions, invoke dastardly comrade Dan and predict disaster for Albo...





Oh and throw in the Major doing a major bout of climate science denialism, and everything's hunky dory, business as usual, the black knight still in action, and fighting the good fight with all the Major's skill set to hand.

What else? Well there's always a distraction provided by the enormously stupid Nine papers, who think their own papers aren't enough of a platform for their stupidity, and there's that other dinosaur relic from another age ...





When has nattering negativity ever gone out of fashion in reptile la la land?

What a pity the pond doesn't have time for an onion munching fuckwit, but the pond is a tad over the voice debate, and besides there are many other reptile voices contending for attention ...

Down below the fold there was the usual mix, with simplistic "here no conflict of interest" Simon holding his nerve and the bouffant one tackling the teals ...





And look, there was cackling Claire, waging war with trans people - can't get enough of the culture wars even as Opus Dei saunters off stage right - and the only hint of trouble came with Jenna's anxiety attack that perhaps the old farts and fogeys weren't listening to vulgar youff. 

What on earth is her beef? Surely the presence of the onion muncher doing his negative best and aged little Johnny at top of digital page should have shut up the ankle biters? Dammit, just remember the unions are sure to pounce, that should keep them in line ...






And so, like the reptiles, the pond can carry on its business as usual, by attending to the thoughts of the Caterist, the days of the Oreo now a faded memory, like the faded curtains caused by daylight saving. 

Do you realise she last appeared in the lizard Oz way back on 11th October 2022? And yet her Facebook listing shows she's still allegedly present and correct, though she was last seen at the Speccie mob back in June 2019?

Enough of the fallen, or the pond might get quite gloomy, and instead on with the Caterist, managing the heroic feat of mixing the Dominator's departure with his own version of climate science ...







What a splendid hole in the ground, what an inspiration and a vision, there's nothing like the fucked Hunter valley to give a Caterist a little gee up ...

Why if they'd just let some flood waters in, he'd be only too happy to provide an explanation of the way it moves in that bloody big hole. 

There's something in the way it moves that attracts the Caterist like no other ... except perhaps a snap of a good, old fashioned power station burning coal ...







Ah yes, life in Kellyville, suck it up comrade Dan lovers, and just remember anyone living in Kirribilli knows all about life in Kellyville ...

But now the pond must issue a serious warning. Lock up your children, avert your eyes, there's a fiendish snap of a terrifying monster about to appear, skulking in his usual way ...







Oh indeed, indeed, life in NSW has been astonishingly splendid and spiffing, and look at the triumph recorded in the Terror and say what?







 



Damn you sparrows of the south, while the reptiles sob into their parritch, all you care about is the footy? Oh and more of the HUN getting agitated by comrade Dan ...

Meanwhile, back to the Caterist, celebrating the Dominator's win, because remarkably he blind-sided everyone ...

Oh wait, alternative reality, bizarro land, Caterist calling planet Htrae, what a tool, he somehow got taken in by all that fraudulent climate science, going around like a virus, and failed to consult immunologist Caterist for expert advice ...







Damn you, keen Kean, it was all your fault, and now you won't even stand and take your medicine, and the Caterist must loudly mourn at the folly of it all ... 

Don't you get it? Must the Caterist explain everything? We're busy shipping coal to the world, and the way forward, as it has always been, is ...










If NSW can't do its bit to fuck the planet, what's the point of it all, where's the meaning?







Meanwhile, in another place, there was a different spin on events ...







Good old Gladys, poor old Dominator, no longer dominant, and what's that blathering about a toxic Liberal brand?

Why they've done everything the reptiles have asked of them, sometimes more, so forgive the pond if it seeks comfort from the Major, because there's nothing like a dose of climate science denialism to flush away bad moods and irritable nerves ...





Ah yes Lloydie of the Amazon. Dammit, there he was, last sighted 21st March 2023, reporting that it was just a political document ...









Sorry, the reptiles took special care with that graphic, a wretched political graph ...











But when it came to the Major, the reptiles' graphics department knew how to really terrify, and inserted a snap of something so menacing the pond simply had to shrink it down to size ...








There, that's better, back to the Major ...






Yes, it's great news, and the Major is full of it, and why not celebrate the fucking of the planet on a weekly basis.

Some might turn to ancient cures for relief ...







But trust the Major, there's nothing like coal as a tonic ...









Coal will fix whatever ails ya, help you forget the Dom, put a spring into your step, fix weak nerves, clutch it in the palm, see how it feels just right, way better than a pet rock ... 









Caution. Side effects may include a fucked planet and a country turned red by rampant Bolshevism ...






Eek, quick waiter, another serve of the Major ...






Meanwhile, poor old Jenna and vulgar youff were lamenting, and the pond felt deeply sad it didn't have the room or the space to pay full attention to the wailing. Perhaps just a little serve on the side  ...







Oh Jenna, Jenna, trust in the Major, trust in JWH, trust in Phil, trust in Bronnie, trust in the onion muncher, trust in the reptiles, trust in coal ...

There's only one evolutionary way forward ...










Let us have no quivering, jelly fish wavering, or we'll end up eating Jello and ice cream ...






Yes, there's a relevant up to date figure ... Chika herself. Why she'd turn up to appear on The Drum any day, sending cardigan wearning pearl clutchers into a fan frenzy, and as for the young at heart, who better than Phil to guide vulgar youff? And yet still they moan and whine and complain ...







Great messages, centrist moderate ideas!! A younger lens!!!

But then the reality hit the pond - tough times, fancy only owning two houses. 

Why the pond won't pass the time of day with anyone owning less than ten ...

Let us all take a vow to refresh, purchase shares in coal mining operations, and aspire to owning at least five houses by Xmas ...

And so back to the Major, reminding vulgar youff that there's only one way forward ... a deep love of coal, a fear and loathing for renewables, and a fucking of the planet, because who doesn't love a good fucking?




And with all well, the clocks stopped, the telephone cut off, the dog silenced, and the climate scientists muffled, time for an immortal Rowe ... 







It's all in the details vulgar youff. There's your hero, there's your leader ...






And here's another young whippersnapper, a buck rascal, a roguish pup, still kicking up his heels, playfully mischievous and forever young at heart ...






And in honour of 92 year olds, here's the other side of that 45 rpm platter with stuff that used to matter ...






15 comments:

  1. Leen Weijers: "...a false impression there is a 'quick, easy and scalable alternative to eliminate fossil fuel use without serious impact on people'." Which is quite funny really, because there is absolutely no way to retain fossil fuel use without serious impact on people.

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  2. We've been having a bit of a Tamworth moment - intertubes-wise - it went down on Thursday morning after a big thunderstorm here in Melbourne, and well, we never thought that sort of thing could happen here in Massachusetts. But it is flowing again at last, running sooner, cheaper, faster, better, etcetera. So I will recall the Pond's theme, and ask - WWJHT (what would Johnny Howard think), WWTAT (what would Tony Abbot think; note this could easily be misread as 'what a twat', but I digress). Today's serving from the reptiles seeks to answer these deep questions, and we see that:

    - Johnny refuses to believe that the Coalition has a policy problem despite the fact that an increasing number of Australians think they do have a policy problem (well many problems, such as women, climate change, aged care, housing, government sevices including medicare, state education, higher education, unemployment relief, etcetera);

    - Tony refuses to see formal recognition of the indigenous owners of Australia as worthwhile, after all the historical injustices following the 'occupation' (with guns) of the continent, and despite having served as our noble envoy to indigenous Australians.

    So the answer is - nothing. WWJHT - nothing. WWTAT - nothing. They don't think.

    Following this tradition, we have Peter Dutton trying to find as many ways as he can to oppose the referendum on the indigenous voice to parliament. Strategically, if there was any thinking actually going on at Liberal HQ, the smart move would be to join the government in supporting the referendum; then if it is passed, he would be on the winning side; if it goes down, well he and Albanese both supported it, so no political loss, and simply defer to the will of the populace. However, there is no place for strategic thinking at Liberal HQ, so just follow Johnny and Tony, and when in opposition, oppose, everything.

    So WWPDT - nothing; no thinking at all.

    Whilst thinking has not been a prerequisite for past Liberal leaders, this lack of thinking may well see PD ousted before he gets to the next election. PD would be advised to say a few prayers, alternatively offer up some sacrifices or buy a lottery ticket, before Aston next Saturday. AG.

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    1. It's that terminal T that is the problem, Anony AG. You have to have a functioning brain to manage that one and they seem to be in very short supply in the 'blue' world.

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  3. “The Shovel” has revealed that new logo for The Australian - https://www.theshovel.com.au/2023/03/27/the-australian-releases-updated-political-map-of-nation/

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    1. I liked this one as well

      https://www.theshovel.com.au/2023/03/23/john-howard-iraq-war-themed-easter-egg-hunt/

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    2. Thank you for the example of the Howard Brain dead and he should as a war criminal.

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    3. A constant temptation, but that one broke the pond. Somehow somewhere someday it will find a home at the pond. What a hoot, what links, what joy ...

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  4. The experiment with ‘CatBot2.2’ is not going well. The MRC might have to pad its next grant application a little further to pay for more development. Assertions like ‘Sydney is home to the longest continuous road tunnel in the civilised world if we leave out Norway.’ is straight out of the lecture notes for ‘Journalism 101’ (which, A F A W K our Cater has not been formally exposed to) as an example of underwhelming comparison.

    It is further unfortunate in having to exclude Norway when one is trying to sustain a case that ‘NSW is acknowledged as an exemplar for public sector reform around the world.’ But (billygoat, butt) we are told projects have been financed with a combination of creativity and prudence. Which is way better than what Norway did - by financing its own projects - a quantum jump above the engineering used in and around Sydney - coupled with serious technological transfer from the companies who were successful in gaining hydrocarbon leases in Norwegian territory, to make Norway ‘an exemplar for public sector works around the world.’

    Oh, and Norway didn’t even need that tincture of ‘competitive tension’ within government agencies - much preferring to have competitive tension amongst the multi-nationals who were bidding for hydrocarbon leases, particularly after those same multi-nationals had claimed that there would be an effective boycott of that market. A boycott that lasted almost as long as the time between when the CEOs of the multis had their little chat (of the kind that Adam Smith described so well) and they could get back to their offices, where their contracts teams had been polishing their bids.

    But, of course, CatBot2.2 found some numbers for a ‘bonanza’ that NSW is enjoying this year from royalties on coal - a whole $6bn. Whew. Although, while we are ferreting out figures - the 51⁄2 million Norwegians are expecting just under $A200 billion in royalties from their hydrocarbons this financial year. An amount that has countries, that have not been as smart in managing their own hydrocarbon businesses, writing that the Norwegians are being ‘unfair’. So, Nick, mate - which is better? - to take $5 billion in royalties, and be thought a mug, or take $200 billion and be thought ‘unfair’?

    Oh, wait - it is to take $5 billion, and be thought ‘an exemplar for public sector reform around the world.’

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I note Norway has another one somewhat longer than WestConnex (26.7km) still under construction, not to mention the Crlestial’s project in Xinjiang. So, sliding down the list rapidly.

      I fear NSW is an exemplar in the same way as the building we were once housed in that received regular visits from architecture students to learn what not to do when designing a high-rise office building (the weather map suggests the basement should be flooding right now - assuming it hasn’t fallen down since I was last there).

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    2. Throwing facts and reason at a reptile - and especially NickC - is kinda futile, isn't it. They know only too well that their role in the universe is to spruik for the right wingnut team and that they can say anything they want because the 'true believers' will always swallow it.

      But good of Chad to demolish him anyhow, because I simply couldn't.

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  5. Kez: one just for us

    https://youtu.be/cPRKsKwEdUQ

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    1. And just one more:

      https://youtu.be/LKwO1aB1W3I

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  6. Dorothy - cartoons are good in their way, and always appreciated as a way to salve reptile venom, but the screen shot of the Woman from Wycheproof is going straight to the pool room, mounted beside Pope's classic cartoon which includes her as Jiminy Cricket.

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    1. Ah the memories Chadders. That one is due for a revival on the pond.

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  7. "But then the reality hit the pond - tough times, fancy only owning two houses." Now thanks to John Quiggin I'm beginning to grasp 'propertarianism': "Propertarianism, or proprietarianism, is a political philosophy that reduces all questions of ethics to the right to own property." And that, as we know, is the core difference between socialism and communism: property, and the right to own it.

    Then there's Chikarovski herself: "...I don't have time to do more work for free when it comes to doing social media for the party right now. I'm finishing a law degree but can't wait for preselection." So, just a good old-fashioned socialist family there and no wonder Maj. Mitch. wants to bring them to our supportive attention.

    But as for Maj. Mitch. himself, well he's discovered Judith Curry's Climate Etc blog and all the "retired NZ power station engineers" who post there. And just as well too, because otherwise Ms Curry would have entirely departed from our ken. So, as Mitch. informs us: "They explain why renewables are not cheap, why renewables will remain inherently unreliable until significant technological breakthroughs are made, and how South Australia has simply outsourced its emissions to Victoria." Well, there we have it then, and we're all doomed.

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