In which the pond tries to lighten the load of reptile studies while offering a course in the bromancer, "Ned", the lizard Oz editorialist and the usual Tuesday groaning ...

 

 

The pond is keen to encourage everyone to enjoy their herpetological studies, and so is grateful when a show like Media Watch dives into the ugly underbelly of the Murdochian tabloids and Paul Murray ...or the ugliness of the devious, unrepentant Deves ...

At the same time, the pond appreciates taking a break so that the student can return with mind focused, and so the pond welcomed the 15 craziest moments in Australian politics, though it seemed astonishing that the onion muncher only made it to 15 ...

Come on guys, let's hear it for onion munching, though the pond did enjoy beefy boofhead Angus charting at 10...

 

Yep, that's top 10 material ...

And then over at Nine everyone got wildly excited by the news of Gretchen's arrival and that sent the pond way down memory lane ... when Jon Stewart was a thing ... can you believe 2013?

Before making his way to Megyn Kelly's now-infamous assurance that Santa Claus is both very real and very white,  he highlighted a less publicized Fox News segment, during which Gretchen Carlson blasted Seinfeld's "Festivus" holiday and took issue with a six-foot "Festivus pole" at the Florida State Capital. "Who gives a f---?" Stewart responded. "It's Florida. You're lucky there's not a stripper named Christmas swinging on it."

But herpetological studies can't all be fun, and so the pond turned to the lizard Oz tree killer edition ...

 

 

Yes, now the infinitely wise one knows what voters are thinking, but the pond was more distressed to see that Klive's famous kash in the klaw seemed lost to the reptiles and they had to promote half-priced, half-baked thinking ...

The digital edition wasn't any better, because for some reason the reptiles decided a snap of the smirk was the way to go ...

 

 

 

If there was a better cue for a Wilcox cartoon than that snap, the pond couldn't think of one ...

Yes, the reptiles were still trying to weave a triumph out of a dubious bit of super snatching, and so it came to pass in the reptiles' triptych of terror ...

 

 

Forget the other hacks on either side doing what hackery demands, look at the centre panel, and lo, behold, there is the bromancer, trying to juggle housing and defence ... and the first casualty is likely the pond's tenuous hold on sanity ...

 

 

 

 

 

Quality assurance check. Once again the pond was in the web version and opened the web version to discover the web version it was reading was in fact the web version ...

 

As for the rest and as a student of the Sydney home market, can the pond just assure young 'uns desperate to buy a squat somewhere near Woop Woop so they can spend two hours commuting, first get a good computer and an understanding employer and something other than Malware connectivity, and second if you think living in Sydney in your own home while on a pension, please think again. 

 

If you've ever had to deal with federal government bureaucrats designed to make life miserable (think robodebt), crank that up to eleven if you happen to abandon your super for a life on the pension. It'll make life on the dole look like luxury, which is an elaborate way of saying that when it comes to super, you can trust the bromancer on missile defence ...

 

 

 

A few dollars in super? They really will fuck superannuation, and thereby put huge stress on a public safety net in the future, but the pond will be dead, so what the heck. At the same time, the pond must report that the reptiles seemed intent on running any number of click bait videos to interrupt their main man, and the text on the next one was most unfortunate ...

 

 

 

 

Could drive house prices up? Sorry, that was the line in the long ago click bait video ...

 

And meanwhile the bromancer was yet again ranting about how incompetent the government was when it came to defence? Do the reptiles have the first clue about mixed messaging? By the end of the bromancer's tirade, the pond was a nervous wreck ... 

 

 

Actually the superannuation for homes policy isn't so much real as surreal.

This is the major policy gambit before the election to which the reptiles have sworn allegiance? No wonder thethe pond was happy to leave the bromancer with the notion embedded in the noggin that Slomo had wilfully fucked over the AUKUS set-up, because as soon as the liar from the Shire angrily denies reports, chances are the reports have more than a grain of salt and a spray of pepper to them ...

And so to the reptile comments section ...

 

 

 

Ah the usual groaning on a Tuesday and ancient Troy and a couple of lizard Oz editorials, but damn it, the pond always had "Ned's" natter on its post-graduate course, and he was sure to send the pond to sleep ...

Fuck it, there was another limo snap, and a clarion call for the liar from the Shire to abandon his smirk and come out swinging and then lo, behold ...

It was just a plug, with a lot of tosh of the "he radiates match fitness" kind. 

The pond had been given a get out of jail free card, even as, after going into rhetorical overdrive for a moment, the spineless jelly fish known as "Ned" ended by wringing his hands and worrying that all this mindless, relentless reptile hagiography might have been under wraps too long ...

Fuck it, what to do with the freedom? First up, why not a lizard Oz editorial? Instead of endless "Ned" gobbets, the pond could do it in a gulp ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was intoxicating stuff, an insight into the heart of darkness and rampant stupidity, but then the pond always suspected that the coalition had long ago decided they wanted to degut super and who cared if in the process it forced many suckers on to the pension, thereby socialising an out of control property market, and when things got really dodgy, why they could then just degut pensions too ... and so the virtual circle of homelessness would be complete ...

And the pond still had some spare gobbets of unused "Ned" space to go, so why not another lizard Oz editorial? Sure it was more of the same, but the first thing students must come to understand is that mindless repetition will over years get a storming of the capital and mass killers inspired by Tuckyo Carlson ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

More of the same, and yet in other places ...

 

... Under the policy homebuyers at any income level will be able to access 40% of their super, up to a maximum of $50,000, to buy a property that must be owner-occupied, provided they have already saved a 5% deposit.
In January the McKell Institute modelled the impact of allowing prospective homebuyers access to superannuation in conjunction with researchers from the Centre for Housing, Urban and Regional Planning at the University of South Australia.
They found allowing access to $40,000 from super would encourage the take-up of $73.6bn in new housing debt as renters entered the market to buy, causing a one-off price surge in the first year of the policy.
The biggest price impact would be in Brisbane, where the median house price was estimated to rise $99,346, followed by Hobart ($92,796), Adelaide ($84,534), Perth ($57,413) and Sydney ($45,342).
The report also concluded that “given the historical stronger performance of super compared to real housing market returns, the effect of compounding over a long time period (30 years) means that individuals accessing super for housing are likely to end up financially worse off in the end”.
Industry Super Australia estimated the effect could be even larger, basing its predictions on a model of pent-up demand for homes and the observed take-up of the previous early super release scheme during the pandemic.
It found that allowing couples to take up to $40,000 from super could push prices in Sydney up by 16%, adding $134,000 to the median price; Perth by 14%, adding $60,000; Darwin by 10%, adding $45,000; and Melbourne by 9%, adding $55,000.
The ISA chief executive, Bernie Dean, said: “Throwing super into the housing market would be like throwing petrol on a bonfire – it will jack up prices, inflate young people’s mortgages and add to the aged pension, which taxpayers will have to pay for.”
The McKell Institute’s executive director, Michael Buckland, said the data showed the policy amounted to a further intergenerational transfer of wealth from young people to existing, older homeowners.
“What first homebuyers desperately need is a little calm in the overheated housing market,” he said. “This proposal would kickstart yet another house price spiral, stripping young people of their super savings and doing virtually nothing to improve real affordability.”

 

You're not going to read any of that in a desperate lizard Oz editorial ... 

 

Time for an infallible Pope ...

Dear sweet long absent lord that's good and it fortified the pond for the usual groaning ...

 

 

 

 

 

Say what? Didn't the reptiles rule out the bank of mum and dad in their triptych of terror?  Was this a sign that even Dame Groan couldn't manage the right sort of groan of delight?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, this is a Groan groaning around the point as best as a groaner on economic tippy toes can do ... and as a light break - remember you'll come back refreshed to the final gobbet - the pond couldn't resist the snap that turned up in those crazy political moments ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let no-one say the pond hasn't covered Barner's bush bash election campaign ... and now back to the Groan  for the news that there are no easy answers and no quick fixes ...

 

 

 

By golly that was Dame Groan at her most tepid and uncertain, and yet there certainly are quick fixes and easy answers. 

Slip in an immortal Rowe and a Hitchcock reference and the French clock man doing his Jimmie Stewart impression, and the pond can sign off in a flash ...

 

Um, the pond does appreciate the Hitchcock reference ... the pond first watched Psycho by staring into its mother's lap, but is the immortal Rowe sure about that figure caught  framed in the window? 

No, not the super Minister you perves, perversely talking about a policy that could produce a housing price bump ... look at that other sinister figure ...

 

 

 

Eek, it is, it's the killer, quick children run and hide ... or the monster will kill you super quick and likely bury you in the garden under the rose bush ...

A bloody good likeness, and who knew Raymond Burr was a Sharkies lover?