In which the pond embarks on an epic journey with the bromancer and freedumb boy, and teal the wrong colour for your mountaineering kit ...

 

 

 Ready for the humongous reptile climb this day?

 

 

Got your gear on? Yes, it's teal, but how better to get the reptiles in a frenzy? Let's do it now, let's do it live ...

You see, the reptiles are in a state of panic this day, as the man who refused to hold the hose now apparently refuses to hold the economy ... and even the soft sections of Murdoch la la land are having a go, with the likes of Samantha Maiden disinterring corpses of the Unearthed clip shows Scott Morrison backing shared equity scheme during GFC kind.

Sure, at the top of the digital page, and splashed all over the tree killer edition, was another terrifying spectacle, a nightmare on the prowl, a bombshell ...

 

 

 

 

But look past the tech titan's energy bombshell, sidestep ancient Troy conjuring up hard-left Albo, don't get distracted by that eye candy, and you'll see that the bromancer arrived in time to occupy centre stage with even more alarming news ... the colour teal is the most hideous interior decorator flourish ever devised, and will likely ruin more dwellings than floral wallpaper ...

Since when has standing for parliament become a thought crime? Possibly since it looks like a few seats might tumble for the man who refuses to hold the hose or the economy or any interest rate rise ... and so the bromancer rose to one of his usual apoplectic apocalyptic flights of righteous anger ... but it was a tad strange, because immediately after that first gobbet, the reptiles an an ad highlighting an independent coming at ya ...

 

 

 

At least the pond thought at first blush that it was an ad and exceedingly kind and generous on the part of the reptiles.

Why there was even a name and a helpful arrow to point out these fiends, and naturally the bromancer went right off at these wretched extremist populists with their beguiling smiles and toffy, poncy, upper crust accents...

 

 

 

Speaking of narcissistic tantrums, it would be rude of the pond to interrupt the bromancer in full narcissist flight, but the reptiles did, sticking in two click bait videos, which required careful neutering ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every so often the pond wonders what it's missing with those click bait videos, but of course they're just a way of cross promoting that instrument of torture, Sky News, and when the pond caved and looked up the Josh video, it was of astonishing banality ...

 

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has been accused of “misquoting” his opponent’s mother-in-law at his campaign launch.
Mr Frydenberg recounted a story where independent candidate Dr Monique Ryan’s mother-in-law approached him and said she would be voting for him.
Dr Ryan has accused the Treasurer of misquoting the incident to embarrass her, however, she has conceded her mother-in-law is a Liberal voter.
 

That summary didn't even answer the basic question -  what is it with mothers-in-law? - and the pond refused to wander off and explore the expectation that independents would declare which major party they'd support, because the pond naively thought that being independent was a declaration that you thought both parties were on the nose, and you might vote independently ...

 

Luckily while the pond was distracted by all this nonsense, the bromancer had begun to wind down in his final gobbet, if talk of the complete destruction of democracy can be said to be a winding down ...  

 

 

 

 

So now we have a coherent government? Just asking for a friend, as the pond couldn't help but notice that the comments section didn't just feature the usual groaning and a couple of lizard Oz editorials ...

 

 

 

 

Look, IPA ahoy, it's Freedumb boy! 

Usually the pond wouldn't waste space on a pollie lurking behind the reptile paywall, but back in the day, Freedumb boy gave the world, and the pond, so much, it would be almost criminal to ignore him, especially as he was taking up the bromancer cry that a vote for hideous wall colours of the teal kind would lead to chaos, populism and extremism ...(and might affect re-sale value in a shrinking property market where your basic, clean Ikea white finish always helps) ...

Did the bromancer help Freedumb boy with his homework, or did freedumb boy manage to go back to the ancient days of Clive all by himself?

Never mind, freedumb boy's sensitivity probably goes back to old wounds he's still scratching ...as with this 2021 encounter ...

 

 

 

 

Please, be fair ... ever since his IPA coal-loving days, freedumb boy has taken a measured Plimerish view of the world ... who could forget his balanced Plimerish approach in 2012?

Yes, you appalling interior decorators, Freedumb boy has been a dab hand at the right colour schemes for yonks ... ever thought about basic coal black? It's still a Newtown fave, though the goths are long gone ...

Freedumb boy's rallying cry?

...Littered with statements that quickly counter the perception that scepticism amounts to heresy, Plimer asserts his views as mainstream within public discussion.

He also seeks to bring the known unknowns around climate science back to the fore, critiquing the discredited Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and its Summaries for Policymakers, which he argued ‘is not a summary at all but state pre-ordained conclusions’.

Edging into the economic and policy space Plimer also punches hard, highlighting the development of a climate industrial complex with the large number of departments, academics and non-government organisations now wedded to catastrophic climate change being real for their own survival. What’s worse is that as governments finance these same groups, the voices and vested interests to wind back bad government policy also become more active.

As a straight shooter Plimer also takes on his critics. Tackling the well-known scandals that have exposed the groupthink within the climate science community, Plimer provides examples of how the conduct of some in the climate science community has contributed to diminishing public confidence in scientific analysis.

In particular he takes aim at the demonisation of those who dispute the arguments of academic Michael Mann, who was found in the leaked Climategate emails to have sought to malign qualified astronomers as ‘astrologers’ because they disagreed with him.

Where Plimer makes his most meaningful contribution is in the most recognisably disputable area of the science of climate change about projections resulting from computer models. As he argues, ‘computer models do not constitute evidence’, especially when there are known but impossible to simulate variables included, such as cloud formations.

In making his arguments Plimer succeeds in presenting his dispassionate case as a sober and rational contribution weighted by the evidence he provides. 

Oh those were the days, and since Freedumb boy seemed so interested in the past, the pond thought it might help by going there too ... but now a last brief gobbet of Freedumb boy, sounding terribly bromancer in the present ... what with those wretched teals assaulting democracy and quite possibly Gina's mob at the IPA ...

  

 

 

And so at last to a good groaning, though perhaps a cartoon might help those struggling to continue on the journey ...

 

 

 

 

No, no, no, he held a hose, what is it with curries?

 

 

 

Oh okay, Josh and mother-in-law jokes are still in ...

And now, please stand back, make room for the groaner ...

 

 

 

 

Dear sweet long absent lord, how is this groaning helping? Doesn't Dame Groan realise the real challenge for the property market is the number of feature walls painted with a bilious teal green look?

 

 

 

 

The pond has gone on too long already, and will only note that in that gobbet, Dame Groan managed to move from an opening "unsurprisingly" to a closing "it is hardly surprising."

And yes it is hardly surprising that the pond is pleased that this is the last gobbet of inflationary doom and gloom ...

 

 

 

At this point, the pond would usually up stakes and take its tummy ache to the dentist for a good drilling, but there was one poignant reptile out and about this day in urgent need of love and care. You see all that groaning and doom and glooming put the bouffant one in a funk and it only takes a couple of pond gobbets to show the pond love ...

First there was a snap, much more beguiling than the coins and notes the reptiles had perfunctorily lumped on Dame Groan ...

 

You have to hand it to the reptiles, they know how to pick an attractive snap to go with "trust us". And then came the despairing gobbet from the rather unkempt and unhappy bouffant one, Shanners without the best gloss...

It just got a whole lot harder to sell? But it's not about him, it's about us and our profligate ways ...

So tomorrow, it is not about me. It is not about Mr Albanese... it is about Australians themselves and the decisions they are making ...

Yes, go hold your own hose, but what a perfect way to segue into a closer with the immortal Rowe, with more always be closing Rowe here ...