In which the pond forsakes Killer aliens for a standard Slapping and a serve of "Ned" ...

 

 

 

The pond couldn't help but notice this contribution from Killer yesterday ...

 

 

 

 

 Hmm, black, gay, immigrant and very angry ... but why was she very angry? 

Oh sure she was black and a woman and gay, but Killer's favourite great replacement theory had just been put into action, so surely she should have been very happy at such stark and grim proof? 

Nope ...

 

Poignant? Deadly shootings? 

Not in Killer's world, why get angry when your fondest dreams and favourite conspiracy theories have come to pass...there's nothing like a mass murder to drain away the anger and make for a very happy Killer ... and speaking of which the pond was reminded of this in the Graudian ...

 

And so on, and depressingly on, with Tuckyo sounding very angry - at being found out - but all that said and done, what of Killer today? 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, it's aliens for Killer today, and sorry, the pond will have to pass, but has noted it should watch Mars Attacks! again ... just to remember the important role country music and Tamworth can play in defeating a rampant security threat ...

More importantly look at that rogue, laughing with a billionaire and threatening to take the reins immediately, and what could a reptile do but report the shameless arrogance and note the criminal past of Clive's hopefuls. 

Knowing that, and with Klive's kriminals revealed, who could possibly take Klive's kash in the klaw? 

How silly of the pond to ask ...

 

Oh there's nothing like kash in the klaw, but look, there he is again in that hi vis vest, flaunting himself, and so the reptiles fought on valiantly, with the comments section contributors doing their very best ...

 

Look, there was comrade Milner quoting Shakespeare to create a sense of unease, and there was Cameron helpfully explaining the liar from the Shire was right to keep mum ... and yet ...

The Biden administration insisted from the outset that it would only consider pursuing the landmark AUKUS project if it had solid support from both major Australian political parties, yet Prime Minister Scott Morrison chose not to consult Labor until the day before its announcement.
By waiting four-and-a-half months, the prime minister made AUKUS into a high-stakes, last-minute political gambit. 

Pshaw, we'll have no Hartchering here thank you very much ... nor listen to the crowing Swiss clock man nor that dreadful Ian Smith ... 

Why he was sounding like that terrible Ian McPhee at Crikey ...

I once intended this article to be about how the Liberal Party could reform itself — away from unrepresented power-hungry types, who to further their own vested interests have inserted supporters into Liberal branches, and back towards the party of Menzies and Fraser, the party I served as a minister, a party which put the electorate first, not its powerful mates.
But I realise the Liberal Party can’t reform itself. I simply can’t write that article. The rot is set in too deep; the need for a total restart too great.
As my former colleague Fred Chaney recently wrote, the focus of the Liberal Party is now on daily cheap political arguments, not on long-term vision for Australia. I also agree with Fred that we need a federal commission with total authority that investigates political corruption and the funding of all political parties and their candidates, and independents.
If there could be an independent investigation into the financial aspects of the party, I believe that it would reveal serious corruption. The fossil fuel industry has been funding the Liberal Party for many years. Hence the failure to adopt progressive policies on climate change — and Scott Morrison’s refusal to give any real power to an independent commission into corruption.
The party ignores the fact that the majority of voters are aware of the need for action on climate change and are opposed to the shocking treatment of refugees.
Labor has demonstrated failures too, and some of my friends who have always supported Labor have fears that it might also receive funding from fossil fuel companies. In fact, many have no doubt about that.
For these reasons I strongly support the election of independent candidates in electorates held by the Liberal Party.

Eek, a bloody teal lover. 

Well, when the pond finds someone who is either entirely lacking in taste or is colour blind or hasn't got the cash for a decent interior designer, we don't send them to a gulag or Siberia to enjoy the methane, we give them a bloody good Dame Slap whacking, up above the faraway tree ...

 

Here's the funny thing... as a way of winning those shameless hussies back to the cause, Dame Slap spends her entire piece trashing them. It's the usual winning Dame Slap way ... not only do you cop a belting, you have to say "please ma'am, can I have another" as you bend over ...

Indeed, fuckwitted pawns, that's what they are, and they deserve a bloody good slapping ...

 

 

 

Ah hard-working moderate IPA Tim Wilson ...(Crikey paywall) ... such a splendid source of comedy:

 

...Tim Wilson, nostrils flaring: “The so-called independents are subverting democracy. Zoe Daniel is getting secret money from Climate 200. I don’t follow who my contributions are from, and the quotes about ‘dead net-zero’ from Matt Canavan you’re throwing at me are all dishonest distortions…

 

...It was all getting a bit raw. For Wilson especially, who was making his own rebellion against extinction tonight. Like many, I have been fascinated by this man since seeing him, young and slender, on The Drum, one of only 20 or 30 Institute of Public Affairs gunslingers the ABC invited on its program, and his subsequent fame, as an out gay man in the Liberal fold, boosted by a profile in The Sunday Age noting that an oil painting of Ronald Reagan hung in view of the conjugal bed.
That plastered smile, which seemed wider than the face, the deliciously stripped nature of his ravening ambition — on The Drum he once asked a biographer of Sylvia Plath why people wrote poetry, there being no money in it — and with a moral suppleness capable of defending free speech, supporting the national exclusion of controversial speakers he disagreed with, and calling for the water cannon on protesters. What great times we’ve had!
But is it now to end? When Wilson won preselection for the seat of Goldstein, it looked like he had hauled himself up, dripping wet, on to fortune’s swimming pool patio, in a seat covering an area that had been Liberal for 70 years. True, he would have to wait out the Morrison era, then a period in opposition, but the party would have to liberalise eventually, and then cabinet, and then? We have all been there for his ambition. He tilts his head like he’s already posing for his official portrait.
It was all going so well, and, well, now look at it. He’s in the worst place in this town since beachside resident the late Don Lane bought a full-length coffee table. Despite the party machine, and the donations whose amount and origin he won’t tell us about, the fight for the seat is not going his way. He is staring political extinction in the face, and he is not handling this affront to his destiny with all the aplomb that he could, which is to say that he is losing it every five minutes, and it is a joy to watch...” 

 

Thank the long absent lord he stopped grundling about Ukraine...

 

And so to a final short gobbet from Dame Slap celebrating freedumb boy and blathering about overpriced gumboots ...

 

 

 

Yep, keep on insulting the female demographic, it's the only way to win their hearts, that and a hard Dame Slap around the chops ... and if you made it this far, you're entitled to an infallible Pope ...

And so to the pond's most onerous duty ... watching nattering "Ned" dissolve into tears as he anguishes, wrings hands and dons sackcloth and ashes at the possible fate of his hero ...

Yes, yes, what a winner he is, how he's loved by the people, except those dreadful women in fancy pants gumboots ... 

Please, do go on "Ned", do a classic rant ... and the reptiles will help out with a click bait video featuring little Johnny singing along in the chorus ...

 

Oh dear, poor "Ned" is sounding grimmer by the gobbet, and yet haven't the reptiles had a grand time with their climate science denialist ways ...

And now to the pond's usual quality assurance note. The pond was on the web reading the web version when it saw the note and so immediately opened the web version to discover that it was reading the web version, so you are truly getting content that is only available on the web version ... read on in comfort and safety, and enjoy the salty taste of "Ned's" tears ...

Ah, the bloody French clock man flying to Paris ... is it any wonder that "Ned" suddenly ran out of puff, ticker, steam ... and turned in a last gobbet as deflationary as a punctured balloon ...

 

That's it? The liar from the Shire expects? But what does "Ned" expect? 

Here the unexpurgated web edition of "Ned" falls silent, and all the pond could think of was a stylish pair of gumboots, while ending with an immortal Rowe ... featuring the inimitable little Johnny ...