In which the pond just tries to figure out who did it, but ends up in a hot-dog suit ...

 

The pond should start by explaining where it won't be going for its Sunday meditation ...

 

 

 

Yes, given the chance to scribble about the Donald, and perhaps even to acknowledge a mistake, Dame Slap retreated to safe ground ...

Sure she berated SloMo as middle management material, and raged in the usual way about the states (Comrade Dan and the like), but the pond was after meatier fare, and so was left with no alternative but to try some alternatives ...

 

It's time to address the truth about Trump?

So at last we'll get a denunciation of Fox News, Chairman Rupert and all the enablers and lickspittle fellow travelers of the Dame Slap kind?

Sorry, the pond said it was over it, it wouldn't use that gobbet anymore, but truth to tell, Dame Slap's love of the Donald is infinitely more titillating than her dismissing the national cabinet as the policy fizzer of 2020, a lightweight operation dealing only with no-brainer issues ... because she can't now face her former true love, the Donald, perhaps in the way that Gladys isn't all that keen on Wagga Wagga these days ... (the pond loves ya, Waggers, just as it loves Goonoo Goonoo).

Enough of all that ... on with the denunciation of all in the media who facilitated and enabled the Donald, and worshipped at his feet ...

 

 

 

Um, that's all well and good, but perhaps just a teeny weeny mention of the GOP that enabled him, and the Murdochian empire that enabled the GOP and the Donald? Is that too much to ask for?

 

 

Um, is it too much to explain that it wasn't just Twitter and Facebook that helped the Donald and the GOP spread lies and fake news? The pond is still looking for at least a teeny weeny mention of the role the Murdochian empire played in this gigantic farce ...

 

Oh fucketty fuck, forget Aristotle, there it is again ... the lizard Oz in bed with Philip Morris ...

 

Content produced in partnership with Philip Morris International

A future without cigarettes is attainable provided our regulators can keep abreast of the pace of change and be informed by evidence and scientific knowledge.

Translation: Philip Morris International has found a new way to hook the suckers and reckons it can make a fortune using a new kind of addiction, a way of replicating their old addiction model, but better if it's legal, and the reptiles are happy to go along with it, because hey, when you've got a flailing, failing business model, you'll sell any kind of snake oil to the suckers, including the Donald ...

Sorry for the detour and the consequent small print, but in any case, rest assured there wasn't a hint of a mention of the Murdochian media while talking of Aristotle and the Donald and his coterie, because apparently Tucker and Hannity and Fox and Friends and Laura and the like weren't a part of the coterie ...

Well the Monkish one is running out of gobbets to make a mention of this fine flock of reptiles, here's his last chance ...

 

Say what? The only mention of Fox News in this whole sorry saga is Chris Wallace?

Nothing else, just blather about Catiline and such like? 

It was just the Donald ... carrying on like Victor Mature in a Cecil B. DeMille picture?

 

 

 

Well, no, the Donald didn't bring the temple down all on his own, just as he couldn't wrassle a lion in the Mature style ...

He had help from many friends in the GOP and the Murdochian-inspired media, and they should have been honoured.

Talk about the Monkish one flunking a Roman history test on how conspiracies play out, talk about the Monkish one helping the liars to carry on regardless, naming no names so they could go on their merry way ...

And now, just because he's rabbiting on about the same stuff, the pond should invite the oscillating fan to have a word.

The pond rarely spares time for the fan, but his rigorous denunciation of the Murdochian empire made for compelling reading, and showed the Monkish one how he should have done it ...

 

 

 

 

Ah, the Trump apologists ... that must be code for Miranda the Devine and all the others down under and across the Pacific who did their best to sell the Donald to mug punters. Lay on, oscillating fan, teach them a lesson ...

 

Sorry that the pond kidded about the oscillating fan producing a rigorous denunciation. It's all done like the slap of a warm lettuce leaf, with an eye on the editorial team lurking in 'leet Surry Hills ...

'Twas strange, 'twas passing strange, 'twas pitiful, 'twas wondrous pitiful.

There was the oscillating fan with a chance to name and shame, to parade in his line-up actual members of the Murdochian empire, and instead we've got generalities, mention of a Trump collective of dangerous fools banging out columns, and the only individual singled out the pathetic Ted Cruz.

Well yes, Cruz is beyond pathetic, to the point of being wondrous pitiful, but what, no mention of all the wordsmiths or the collective stupidity, not just on television in general, but the nest of vipers that gathered in the twilight hours and at breakfast on Fox News?

Ah, but apparently it's not wise to bite the hand that feeds the columnist, and eek, look there in the next gobbet, the oscillating fan was cheek by jowl with Philip Morris in a saturation campaign to help out an ailing big tobacco company ...

 

Sorry about the small print, perhaps a click to enlarge, but in any case the pond can assure readers without their glasses handy that there's no mention of Sky News, or the parrot or other birds of the Rowan Dean kind when the oscillating fan raged at the "callow collective of reactionary Australian commentators" ...

But who presents this collective? Surely not the Speccie mob, or Quadrant, both small blood-sucking ticks on the cow's bum?

The real vampire bats infest Sky News and the Murdochian press, and yet, thanks to the oscillating fan, they can hide behind "callow collective", while the oscillating fan berates Miss Lindsey ... but that's an easy one, we've all played that game, and what an easy game it is, even with Miss Lindsay ...

Never mind, there's one last chance for the oscillating fan to name and shame, to make a few Murdochians walk the plank, to single them out from the callow collective ...

The pond will make it easy. No need to get in a tangle on home turf. Just a mention of the Tuckers, or the Lauras, or that truly weird woman Maria Bartiromo ...

The pond will even help the fan with an example ...here's how the oscillating fan could still do it, as we take a walk through a ship of fools, a callow collective if ever there was one, and even eventually get to Maria, in a WaPo story here ...

 

 

Well in all that confusion and excitement about the hot-dog man, the pond almost forgot the last oscillating fan gobbet.

All those wasted bullets and no names, but all that's left behind as the oscillating fan lines up for his last shot, and the pond wonders if the punk feels lucky? Will he actually mention just one of the parade of clowns featured above?

 

Nope, just more vague generalities about supposed conservatives and "mainstream delivered" reactionaries ... what a feeble quisling, what a classic warm lettuce Vichy man ...

Uh huh, look the pond is just trying to figure out the guys that did this ... and then maybe as well as turning their backs on the Donald, they might turn their backs on the mainstream deliverers ...

It would mean giving up the Monkish one and the oscillating fan, but that's about as cheap a price as the pond could ever imagine ...

And so to a celebration. 

It turns out that the White Heat cartoon attracted a favourable comment, and it seems many like the film or at least its classic ending, including Rowson here ... who isn't as faithful to the image of Jimmy blazing away above the oil refinery, and ending up ablaze, but still ... any chance to draw attention to Raoul Walsh's best film, a silent movie man's last hurrah, not knowing that he'd also be doing a last hurrah for the Donald ...