Truth to tell, the pond would rather be reading Marina Hyde for its Sunday meditation than the usual bunch of unsavoury reptiles in Surry Hills.
This is how she started off her latest Boris smackdown ...
Can it really be just three entire years and three entire days since Michael Gove said of a Brexit deal: “The final whistle has blown, and the prime minister has won”? Either way, I see the Brexit talks have moved into the threatening-suicide-if-your-ex-doesn’t-do-what-you-want stage. On Thursday evening, Boris Johnson took to the airwaves to warn that with negotiations due to end on Sunday, there is now a “strong possibility” of a no-deal Brexit.
This mood of constructive and responsible toy-throwing was duly echoed across today’s front pages, with a personal favourite being the Daily Express’s splash headline: ALL WE EVER WANTED WAS OUR FREEDOM. A phrase it’s incredibly hard not to imagine being sobbed by a man in his pants being led away by police officers.
The pond just wanted to start that way, to remark how astonishing it must be, to be an even bigger idiot than the idiot that snubbed you, and so provoked a flurry of idiotic stories yesterday ...
They're easily googled ... Dennis Atkins is here, the Graudian's silent treatment is here, and there's a tasty Graudian piece on spinning emissions projections here ...
And yet, given all that, what did simplistic Simon come up with this weekend?
It's an EXCLUSIVE?! Some moron thought that giving simplistic Simon an EXCLUSIVE would help sort out the matter of idiot mano idiot?
Phew, it's just some fuckwitted National being given space by the reptiles to vent ... and yet still they wonder why SloMo copped a snub? An idiot snubbed by Boris the idiot?
In the interest of alleged balance, the reptiles did trot out Bob Carr, scribbling the bleeding obvious, what with the Donald only interested in reviving the Civil War ...
But the pond was more interested in simplistic Simon's capper ...
What a load of old cobblers and coal ...and the reptiles wonder why an idiot was snubbed by a man some once thought an even bigger idiot - try finishing, or just sampling Marina Hyde...
...Received wisdom seems to be that this is all theatre – designed to show that the UK, which has rapidly ceased to be a serious country, is serious about its threats. If there is a flaw to this plan – and really, it’s such a tiny cavil – it’s that our prime minister is a liar of international repute. Possibly even intergalactic. For Boris Johnson, lying is not second nature: it is nature. Even on the occasions he wants to tell the truth – a rarity, but imagine it momentarily aligning with his self-interest – he has to make a vast, almost physical effort to override his psychiatric biology. It’s like watching a cat try to bring up a six-kilo hairball.
For most of the time, the prime minister exists in a space far beyond truth, a horror category all of its own. To hear he’s going to make a statement is to anticipate a catastrophically messy haemorrhage of actuality; the mere opening of his mouth should be seen as a truth-prolapse. (Come on – it wouldn’t be Christmas without a Boris Johnson body-shock section.)
And so on, but really it makes the pond feel like it's slumming when it turns to prattling Polonius for its usual Sunday dose of the clap ... (happy rapture and speaking in learned tongues)...
Yes, that explains why on slow days at the Sydney Institute, Polonius can be found doing a spot of fruit-picking down Murray river way ... or slogging it out as a public servant, tending files and boring the socks off anyone in the vicinity with his heroic tales of his work in the 1980s ...
Just by way of contrast and strictly for the pond's amusement, please allow the pond to do a cut and paste of our Gracie at this point ... not the photo of union heavies and the headline BOOT on the other foot in industrial relations stand-off ... just a couple of gobbets ...
Oh, it's irresistible, the desire to have both our Gracie and Polonius come together with their last gobbets ...
Come on Polonius, you can do it too, you can finish off with a flurry of floozies ...
Amazing really, how Polonius understands how workers understand. It must come from having been a public servant back in the early 1980s ... or perhaps he just sticks his head up his bum, in search of enlightenment ... though strangely, the ABC seems to have left the premises, if only for a little while.
And so to the real treat for the day ... and what a mega-treat it is ...
First a little warning. It will be remembered by those who dip into the pond that Dame Slap is famous for picking winners.
Did she not don a MAGA cap and step out into the streets of New York at night to dance with delight at the Donald's victory? And how well that has worked out?
Did she not take up the cause of "Lord" Monckton and his talk of climate science being used by the UN to establish a world government by Xmas 2009? How good was that, and what joy has it produced for SloMo, following in her footsteps, and exuding a devotion to dinkum, clean, pure, innocent Oz coal (see above)?
And now Dame Slap has spotted more winners ...
Yes, yes, but this hagiography business is tedious stuff. Perhaps the pond could alleviate some of the tedium by celebrating a previous Dame Slap pick as we mooch along ...
Yes, that feels better. The pond feels a tidy pattern of presentation has been established ... now let's hear it for Jimbo ...
Oh yes, splendid visions, splendid dreams, and busy on social media too, because the reptiles just love social media ... what better path to follow?
But we're not done with Jimbo yet. He's an IPA man, don't ya know, and soon Gina's mob will rule the land, and after that, who knows, possibly the world, and is it wrong to dream of the universe? Or at least snatching Mars away from Elon?
Oh yes, Dame Slap can pick 'em ...
And now we're done with Jimbo and on to the next winner ... so full of himself that it's a wonder Dame Slap's piece didn't burst at the seams ...
Golly, that snap of little Johnny is a tad unfortunate. He must be enjoying life on his handsome super package ...
As for fixing super? Oh they'll fix it alright, it will be truly fixed, it will be so fixed people will think they can see a light on the hill ...
Hmm, is Gina and the IPA to be spotted anywhere in that dung hill? Never mind, on with the next Dame Slap gobbet, but a warning, here it gets really icky, yucky, and slimy ... because this bragger doesn't need Dame Slap's support, he already knows how to brag and pump himself and the volume up ...
Where will this braggart be in a decade's time? Who knows, and who cares, because the pond wouldn't spend a penny fitting him out with shoelaces ...
But the IPA never tires, and Gina never grows old, and Dame Slap knows how to pick winners ...
Well, it's been an amazing ride, but sadly there's only one gobbet left ... and of all the cheek, they had to drag a picture of Keating into it, though it has to be said that he seems to be wearing a little better than little Johnny ...
And there you have it, always with the industry super funds, the real point of this adventure with Gina, because how the reptiles hate the way that industry super funds have consistently done better than the rip-off private sector mates who were so greedy that they ruined super long before the reptiles and their mates and Gina's mob got the chance to finish the job ...
And now having journeyed far with Dame Slap, perhaps the pond could suggest a final trip, though maybe post-COVID rather than this Xmas, so that we all might enjoy Dame Slap's sagacity and her ongoing ability to pick winners, and celebrate her astonishing ability to stay on the far right side of Gina and the IPA mob ...
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDelete“Let’s call them the Squad”
Let’s not! As they actually look like a bunch of failed real estate agents in their shiny suits and their pointy shoes.
Does the Liberal party have a breeding program? As it’s difficult to believe that such a load of mediocrity could have assembled by accident.
It’s not only weasel faced Jim Patsy that is an ex IPA flunky, little Timmy was also employed by the Institute of Public Affairs for seven years, serving as Director of Climate Change Policy and of Intellectual Property and Free Trade. Is everyone at the IPA a director?
The Braggart meanwhile served his time as policy director at the Menzies Research Centre, so he was tax payer funded.
The outsider Falinski meanwhile was once President of the Australian Young Liberals. Very much the lone wolf running outside the pack and definitely not an entitled insider expecting to helped onto the gravy train.
DiddyWrote
"Does the Liberal party have a breeding program?" I look at Birmingham, Frydenberg, Hunt, Tudge, Tehan, Porter, Canavan and Sukkar and see the same person. I look at Cash, Payne, Ruston and Reynolds and see them as one too. Trumped up private school boys and girls who stopped learning somewhere in their late teens. Awful the lot of them. Just awful.
DeleteA breeding program, DW and Merc ? Ixnay, it's just the oldest practice in homo sap saps: like party recruiting. It was particularly noticeable - and noticed - in corporate management back in the 60s and 70s: no manager is going to voluntarily recruit somebody who will show him up as the nong he is. So, those with 'power' simply replicate themselves, over and over - that's bleedin' bloody obvious ennit ?
DeletePart of the reason why women so seldom made it into the upper executive suite: women tend to take the myths and legends seriously, as some form of truth, but the guys know that it's only a 'lip service' deal and you can't have a good thing ruined by people taking your bullshvt seriously.
So, look at 'The Squad' and see Christensen and Craig Kelly and McCormack and Barners Joyce.
What on earth could be behind the snubbing of Morrison at the World Climate Summit? Perhaps he has form?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-26/scott-morrison-un-speech-slam-australias-climate-change-critics/11549154
So, three months after you retire you are sitting in the garden, smelling the roses, drinking your morning coffee, reading Loon Pond, when Polonius tells you that you are infinitely worse off than four months ago because now YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB!
ReplyDeleteHow thick is Mr. Pitt? Has he not heard that 'you can lead a horse to water etc' Might there not be unintended consequences of forcing companies to insure miners? Like, no donations to the Party? Premiums ten times higher? How thick is Mr. Pitt?
Paterson and debt- 'what is going to hit us'. I ask my fellow commenters, growing up in the '50s and '60s, did you have serious conversations about 'the crippling levels of debt' because of the War? Hmm, thought not.
To paraphrase Marx (or was it Lenin?) "there is a spectre haunting the Liberal Party, and it is the spectre of MMT".
The dodge I like most, Joe is the one about how we're imposing "the debt" on our children and grandchildren". So like none of the taxpayers alive and paying now are going to contribute a single dollar to "paying back the debt" ? Even the likes of you and me Joe (is that homemade coffee you're drinking ? I have to walk about 10 minutes up the street to get mine, and the place isn't open on Sunday) - penurious retirees - will pay some of it via GST.
DeleteBut of course reptiles and wingnuts can't even spell MMT much less understand it. I'm always amused by the fact that a lot of those bloviators rave on about 'large debt' when almost every one of them has personally taken on a very large debt - many times their annual remittance - which they seem to think is totally normal and un-noteworthy - called "a mortgage".
They (conservatives) are losing the war to MMT, and they don't like it. So they instigate these small battles hoping to reverse the tide. It only makes their losing all the worse.
DeleteA lot of stuff sloshing around the internet regarding 'The Squad'
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/Rottoturbine/status/1337614192602312706?s=20
Most commentators thinking it looks rather like a parody, some suggesting the Oz is itself a parody.
I guess, in the Trump era nothing is too dumb or too cringeworthy to be rolled out to the public. After all, if you can see the absurdity of this stuff you are not part of the target audience anyway.
And as to those who can't see the absurdity of this stuff, then just keep in mind that at least 50% of humanity have IQs below the median. And then remember that at least half of all those with IQs above the median aren't all that bright either.
DeleteYour last sentence is a gem, Befuddled. Thank you.
Delete