In which the reptiles once more crusade for Western Civilisation ...

The pond takes exceptional pleasure in the company of those expert in reptile studies, and of late Media Watch has improved its ways, and delivered some remarkably amusing research on life in the herpetarium …

This especially applies when the pond catches up on long lost and joyously abandoned tabloids of the Terrorist kind, as in Bulldog bulldust, but the pond was also disappointed.

The pond scoured for an honourable mention of the two involved in the caper, Mark Morri and Nick Hansen, but in vain.

Surely the time has come for a decent set of reptile awards, with Morri and Hansen top contenders. Yes, there have been eggbeaters and Wankleys and the pond even recalls a fish getting in on the joke, but what the contending reptiles need is singular recognition, which is why the pond suggests the Lord Haw-Haw awards …

In the good old days, Hadders would have been a hot contender too, but in Palmer pushback, Media Watch explained how Hadders had become a pussy cat, happy to purr sweet soothing noises to management when his supply of Snappy Tom was threatened.

Of course the pond would prefer to do a triple by-pass than listen to Hadders, which is why other reptile experts are needed, and in the old days, he would have dismissed his supine behaviour as the antics of a whore, thereby disrespecting sex workers as well as his current self … at least prostitutes recognise they have a price, but Hadders?

Can't even honestly and openly and proudly claim the title of a sex worker with a decent quarter mill price …

Perhaps the pond was too hasty in proposing a name. Perhaps the "Paper Tiger" awards would cover a wider range of reptile antics …

Ah, the joys of Western Civilisation in action, which brings the pond to its sumptuous feast for the day …

On the face of it, and it turned out after just shovelling a couple of loads of bull dust to discover the depths, our Luke was offering an ineffably stupid proposition …

But that's our Luke, and is it any wonder that he's returned from Nowhere Land to pond superstar, as he carries almost singlehandedly on the reptile crusade to save Western Civilisation ...

Indeed, indeed, and as Greg Hunters will discover here, his tremendous respect for native custom led to a splendid end ...

After a month's stay, Cook attempted to resume his exploration of the northern Pacific. Shortly after leaving Hawaii Island, however, the Resolution's foremast broke, so the ships returned to Kealakekua Bay for repairs. Tensions rose, and a number of quarrels broke out between the Europeans and Hawaiians at Kealakekua Bay. An unknown group of Hawaiians took one of Cook's small boats. The evening when the cutter was taken, the people had become "insolent" even with threats to fire upon them. 
Cook attempted to kidnap and ransom the King of Hawaiʻi, Kalaniʻōpuʻu. The following day, 14 February 1779, Cook marched through the village to retrieve the king. Cook took the king (aliʻi nui) by his own hand and led him willingly away. One of Kalaniʻōpuʻu's favorite wives, Kanekapolei, and two chiefs approached the group as they were heading to boats. They pleaded with the king not to go. 
An old kahuna (priest), chanting rapidly while holding out a coconut, attempted to distract Cook and his men as a large crowd began to form at the shore. 
The king began to understand that Cook was his enemy. As Cook turned his back to help launch the boats, he was struck on the head by the villagers and then stabbed to death as he fell on his face in the surf. He was first struck on the head with a club by a chief named Kalaimanokahoʻowaha or Kanaʻina (namesake of Charles Kana'ina) and then stabbed by one of the king's attendants, Nuaa.
The Hawaiians carried his body away towards the back of the town, still visible to the ship through their spyglass. Four marines, Corporal James Thomas, Private Theophilus Hinks, Private Thomas Fatchett and Private John Allen, were also killed and two others were wounded in the confrontation

But enough of the joys of Western hegemony, and the fiendish acts of dastardly natives, it's time for another Luke gobbet …

There's no such thing as unmediated access to texts?

What, we're incapable of heading off to the Mechanics' Institute and picking up a book? Sorry, the pond had a flashback to the old days when there were workers' libraries in most country towns. These days you can pick up unmediated access at Project Gutenberg, the Internet Archive and such like places, with a host of imitators intent on public domain click bait …

Sorry, the pond had started to wander, as if stuck in a cave staring at images on a wall, and wondering why Luke's apparent obsession with texts also seemed to omit the glories of the plastic arts, music, cinema, theatre and all the rest of it ...

And there it came, the all-day gob-smacker, the explanation of why little Johnny and the onion muncher and the likes of Joe de Bruyn sit on the board, as listed here …and make no mistake, little Johnny and the onion muncher are at the top of the haystack ...

When Luke frantically scribbles "A conservative pedagogy needn't - and isn't designed to - produce conservatives", either he or the Ramsay board are operating under a delusion, as they outline the "Ramsay Vision" …

Paul Ramsay was a leading Australian businessman who was passionate about education and wished to educate future generations in the traditions and practices of western civilisation: its history, philosophy, literature, science, theology, music, art and architecture. 

He also wanted to create over time a cadre of leaders – Australians whose awareness and appreciation of their country’s Western heritage and values, of the challenges that have confronted leaders and people, with that broad heritage in the past, would help guide their decision making in the future. 

 The Ramsay Centre Scholarships will provide students from across Australia the opportunity to study western civilisation in this spirit at one of our partner universities…

In short, "A conservative pedagogy is needed - and is designed to - produce conservative leaders who will march forth as the new Cecil Rhodes visionaries the world needs …", but ssssh, imitating Captain Cook in Hawaii requires some precautions to be taken ...

Little Johnny has long been an exponent of the history wars, but there's no need to go into all that, it's recorded at The Conversation in 'Western civilisation'? History teaching has moved on and so should those who champion it...

Instead, might the pond recommend to students the many ways that science is one of the glories of Western Civilisation (though sadly it had to catch up on gunpowder), and note the many pleasures and insights to be derived from scientific studies …

Why soon enough, after you've got past Luke jibber-jabbering on about philosophy, you might arrive at Little Johnny and the onion muncher's understanding of climate science, celebrated this day by the infallible Pope, with more jolly popery here ...