In which the pond hungers for some Moorice onion munching normalcy ...

With casual racism and sexism at the HUN in question - oh no, not Harry Potter - and the HUNsters doubling down, and the feral, trapped wild beast lurking within the seemingly benign Mr Potato Head emerging like a screaming, wailing banshee from the deep north, the pond hungered for some normal reptile loonacy … and then came …

Lord Downer part of a left-wing international spying conspiracy? 

Oh Adelaide, Adelaide, have the aunts under the sacred wisteria recovered from their fainting fit yet?

Madness, it seemed, lurked everywhere, with climate science denialism abandoned and cries of clean coal love growing fainter, and the chance for a routine day flying out the pond window, when lo, salvation of a kind descended on the pond to bathe it in the rich glow of the wisdom of Moorice…

Now it's not usually appreciated that Moorice isn't just one of the world's best climate scientists. 

Moorice can turn his hand to fixing just about anything with a stocking and a bit of barbed wire - the world economy, the coming end of times rapture - and when it comes to sorting out Aborigines Moorice is a first class bush mechanic. He can diagnose the problem, and sort everything out, and amazingly he only needs a single missionary to do it …

It's well known and widely appreciated that the onion muncher made a tremendous success of his first go as Minister for Indigenous Affairs … just look at the eulogy that Luke Pearson gave him in @IndigenousX back on 24th August 2015, here …

Yes, it was a tremendous success, and now that ScoMo has decided the best way to get the onion muncher from out under foot is to send him to the bush with Barners - so much more civilised than a Roman exile - Moorice understands the visionary nature of the move …

Confronted with these problems, what's the solution? 

Why the onion muncher of course, he's a Rhodes scholar, he'll fix things in the ineluctable way he fixed things before, and fortunately Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem laying out a programme for change and reform …

Yes, one man could change everything with his open, simple and humble speech - no wrecking, sniping or undermining here, here just a check on the show of pride …

And how lucky he is to have Moorice as his guide, offering an explanation of how the pesky, difficult blacks are clueless and misguided - absolutely no point in listening to them - and how only Warren and the onion muncher understand anything much about anything ...

Good old political will, why it's worked every time to date, with the onion muncher himself a supreme example of the triumph of the political will …

And with that the pond could at last feel a normal sort of loonacy had returned and settled on the pond like the yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, the yellow smoke that licks its tongue into the corners of the evenings, lingers upon the pools that stand in drains, curls once about the house and falls asleep …

… only for the pond to be woken by that definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over again in the hope of different results, and sent wide-eyed by a Rowe cartoon featuring the onion muncher himself, with more wide-eyed Rowe to be found here …