Speaking of onion-munching freeloaders, as the reptiles often do ...

The reptiles were wildly excited early in the day about the chance of implementing the agrarian socialist   dinkum clean Oz coal oi oi oi five year plan (or as we know it here at the pond I пятилетний план, первая пятилетка), and naturally trotted out zealot Dame Groan in enthusiastic support …

But call the pond what you will - many do - the pond is loyal, and this sighting of onion muncher turned full Trumpian distracted the pond from such coalian weighty matters.

There's a reason that the pond keeps the onion muncher at the top of the page, and it's not just loyalty. Of recent times, the move to full Trumpist is as piquant as the arm-breaker's shift to full Hansonism, with bonus racism …

The reptiles love the onion muncher, oh they adore him, and they faithfully transcribe every thought, as if they'd discovered old Joe Smith dictating the contents of his gold plates …

Indeed, indeed, and the pond looks forward to the day when dinkum Oz lads - led by the onion muncher from his lounge chair - will crush the Chinese like the gnats they are, and without any help from anyone (damn you useless kiwis, person up).

Or is it the Chinese? Could it be someone else?

Thanks Bell for asking that question, but the onion muncher has got everything in hand …and not just in the spirit of Barry McKenzie Holds His Own ...

He warns?

Meanwhile, on another planet …

As for the rest, it's just more of a peculiar sight … the reptiles transcribing the thoughts of the onion muncher transcribing the thoughts of the Donald, and going the full war monger in the process … as if somehow he retains some relevance to Australian politics …

The pond recalls that the oscillating fan, back on April 9th when Malware was clocking up his thirtieth poll failure in a row, took time to check up on the onion muncher's status in Newspoll:

The more interesting data is found in the preferred Liberal leader information. Turnbull remains the preferred leader, narrowly besting Julie Bishop 28 per cent to 27. Abbott sits well back in third place on 13 per cent, followed by Peter Dutton on just 9 per cent.

Around the same time, Essential had Malware on 24%, Bishop on 17%, the onion muncher on 11% and the mutton Dutton a handsome 3%.

But still the onion muncher beats on, an attention-seeking narcissist struggling against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the delusional past, and occasionally forward into the delusional present and future ...

Fear and doubt, or should that be doubt and fear, is all the onion muncher's got left in the old kitbag, that and stern warnings, which given his current status, feels much like being pummelled with a feather …

Always the same old lament …coulda woulda shoulda … and if it's not coal and climate science denialism, then it's assorted bogeymen … even as the average punter probably thinks that, if the onion muncher is the answer to the problem, we either shouldn't have asked the question, or we're all doomed.

And just to celebrate the doom, here's a cartoon …is it five o'clock yet? The pond might go off the wagon for a dry martini with the devil ...