Day 35, and thanks to the dog botherer the pond learns it's better to call women mad rather than ugly ...

Too many ancient arts and sciences have been lost, and so the pond was particularly pleased to read Nick Xenophon candidate Damian Carey stands by claim genital acupuncture can cure infertility.

The pond is pleased to advise that acupuncture can also help in cases of baldness and impotence.

But enough of the pond's splendid medical advice, because this is Monday and so the pond must watch the reptiles watching the ABC, because there can never be enough reflexiveness or even reflexology ...

By the way, did you know that reflexology, reiki, naturopathy, iridology and herbal medicines offer splendid cures for infertility, baldness and impotence? 

And those in a jurisdiction which allows animal sacrifices should consider voodoo ...

Oh okay, it's dog botherer day ...

Oh it has to be a joke, right?

The dog botherer strutting and parading as a vigilant politically correct feminist stalking the media and taking a hard line on sexism?

A South Australian boofhead football tragic intent on proving he's very caring about the ladies?

Now in matters like this, the pond always turns to the Daily Mail, a treasure trove of political and feminist correctness, and 'The actress is not ugly enough' delivers the goods ...

Of course while on site, visitors might like to check out other deeply feminist Snail offerings ...

And so on and tediously on.

But back to the dog botherer and his deploring of those dreadful sexist attacks on Julia Gillard and the pond was reminded of the time when he made a joke about Gillard travelling to London to attend a certain wedding. The big question was whether she would catch the bouquet, the clever lad joked, presumably because a bouquet would be a sign of hope, and at least some compensation for a life not spent in marital bliss with the dog botherer...

But if we do learn much from Twitter, what might we glean from the dog botherer's?

Well it seems he doesn't like Leonardo ...

But sharing a joke about de Cappuccino isn't sexist, it's merely witty and clever. In much the same way as it's wise to talk of dog bothering rather than dog fucking ...

And the dog botherer doesn't like Obama much ...

But let's be fair, at least he didn't re-tweet Boris Johnson's jibe about the Kenyan ...

It does become clear that he's a fool ...

But let's be fair. He hasn't ever tried to hide his stupidity, and on many occasions proudly parades it for all to see ...

No, what the pond wanted was an example of how the dog botherer fancies his chances with women ...

Such a happy couple. And even better, the way the dog botherer engages with women intellectually ...

Now some might wonder at the difference between calling a woman ugly and a woman mad, but it's simple really. 

To call a woman ugly is a deep thought crime, because there's no worse condition for a woman. They're meant to be pretty and decorative and to say they're not ... well, it's unthinkable.

But to call them mad? Well most of them are, and some of them barking mad, and that's not sexist, that's pointing out, in the Donald Trump manner, the bleeding obvious ...

But in the end the point of the exercise is to troll, and so the troll will always proudly display victims of his trolling who bark back ...

Never mind, it would be remiss of the pond not to round things out with the rest of the dog botherer's deep and enriching insights ... and not just whether the Port Pigeons will be debeaked by the Semaphore Sparrows this long weekend, or some other arcane gibberish as men punish pigskin ...

Ah, so that's why shock jock Ray Hadley thought he had a hot tip ... he knew it would be a waste of time to ask Mutton Dutton so he raced off to the Sri Lankans. How silly of him then to put it to Mutton Dutton that he had a hot tip. 

Fancy thinking anyone should ask Mutton Dutton about anything. Mushrooms should just be thankful and take their place in the compost ...

Thank heavens there's no veil of secrecy verging on paranoid silence at work in the Australian government, when you can just call up the Sri Lankan government to discover what's happening ...

Hmm, have they also got any details on how to run a functioning democracy ...

Meanwhile, there's never been a more exciting time ... to be a property owner ...

Sorry millennials, please,  just stay in your parents' home and don't bother the pond. You see, Jack and Jill, we're mighty fine ...

And now the pond would like to thank the correspondent who drew the pond's attention to this cover ...

Spoof? Who cares, it's a glorious tradition ...