Day 33, and the pond mounts a double header with prattling Polonius and the bromancer ...

Day 33, and the pond had to buckle, and mention the unmentionable, but only because that mendacious fraud affectionately known as Petie boy came out defending the indefensible, as a bonus to the previous indefensible defence that a certain payment was accidental ...

To be sure, and any time they'd like to accidentally drop a payment in the pond's account ...

But hey, the pond doesn't watch FTA commercial television - well unless we're stuck in some public medical space where it seems the rule is that patients must be punished by an attack of the drivel - so let's move on to better things.

Now there are undoubtedly some battered, lost, tortured souls who bumped into the pond's previous post and had their long weekend ruined by the sight of Tone being here to keep on helping ...

But the pond always likes to double down, and what better way to do it than one of the pond's famous double headers, featuring consummate tag teamers Greg "the bromancer" Sheridan and Gerard "the prattling Polonius" Henderson ...

Yes, it's all happening at the pond this weekend, and let's get down on the field of play with the bromancer ...

... because just after Tony Abbott has filled the pages of the lizard Oz with a rant explaining how life is just so unfair, how else to help Malware win than to provide a litany of his flops and failures?

Oh it's litany day at the pond.

But what's the betting outside the ring that the bromancer's piece is actually just a thinly disguised rant in favour of the wall punching onion eater, who after all, is just here to keep on helping?

Oh FFS, the bromancer's still banging on about his one true love, and where's the harm in pork barreling a plum position for little Brian ... don't give him a plum there will be pain, don't vote for me, you can kiss your hospital goodbye ... SOP as they say.... and thereby, thanks to the porking, earn gratitude and brownie points from Tones, who's here to help ...

And then the classic line ... Turnbull has mismanaged his relationship with Abbott. It doesn't matter if Turnbull and his supporters feel the fault lies with Abbott ...

Put it another way. Turnbull has mismanaged his relationship with the red bellied black snake. It doesn't matter if the red bellied black snake is inclined to deliver a poisonous bite, the fault lies with Turnbull ...

Or some such thing. And then the talk of the need to give Abbott a cabinet post... because that worked so well with that other Tony who was there to help ... though thank the long absent lord, talk of him doing over the UN and the world the way he did over the Labor party and the country is now fading ...

Back on message.

There was only one way for this to be resolved ... for Abbott to show grace in defeat and walk away, as Gillard did. But like Costello, that other flop and failure, Abbott has no class, and he'd struggle to find a role outside parliament and he knows it ... 

The likely next stop would have been some hack job defending the indefensible, and Tony 'here to help' showed he was hopeless at that kind of job while trying to run the country.

The reality is that Turnbull will never win favour with Abbott or his acolytes, such as the bromancer, who are determined, like the loser himself, to insist on the validity of all his failed government's policies and to recall him to power ... and if that means trashing the current brand, so be it.

...because everything was going so swimmingly under the direction of the wall-punching onion eater ... whereas under Malware it's hopeless ...

Well there's nothing for the pond to do but settle back and watch the reptiles eat their own.

Oh sure, there's one last par suggesting that Labor might have a few problems. But the rest of the piece is a parade of Abbott's haters hating ... hating on Malware and hating his many failures ... because Tones was such a success.

There's really nothing for the pond to do but admire the passing parade ...

That self-devouring reptile can be found at a wiki here, as the pond moves to the other header in its double header reptile feast ...

Now fair warning. 

The prolix Polonius, always inclined to tedious verbosity, this day is off his oats, sounding nervous and skittish and apprehensive, while also being somewhat short weight, short measure if you will ...

Yes, the pond threw in that 1748 short measure quote, and a link, because we must get ready for a prattling Polonius history lesson ...

Oh dear, the pond immediately felt a poem coming on ...

Never mind, it's easy to see why Polonius is apprehensive and agitated and short with his words. 

The worst outcome in Liberal party history ...

It doesn't get any more dire than that ... not even World War II...

That was just a sideshow chaps, chums, chumps, women and children, this is the big one ...

The defeat will be dreadful...

Day 33 and with months to go, and already the fear and the defeatism is palpable. Just as well Polonius didn't feel the need to serve in Vietnam ...

Ominous, apprehensive, dreadful words indeed, but thanks to the bromancer we know the solution. 

Bring back Tony Abbott, embrace his policies, put him in cabinet, and eventually roll over and let him have the top job back ...

Because it worked so well the last time ... 

So let past winners be a guide to future glorious policies ...