Please don't blame the pond, we're just obeying Sharri Law ...

The pond had to start with a whimsical Pope cartoon this day - as always more Popery here - because not to put too fine a point on it, the pond is shattered, confused, distraught, and in a state of comprehensive, palpable despair ...

Look at this lizard offering of opinion from the reptiles this day ...

Now on one level, a superficial reader taking a superficial glance might say why the tears, why the sackcloth and ashes? 

After all, there's the bouffant one buffing up Malware, Dame Groan casting her usual pall of doom and gloom at the thought of anyone hurting a hair on the head of the rich, and Gary Johns bashing the blacks.

But as the pond scanned down further, a sinking feeling began to twist the stomach into a knot. 

There were gestures, but where was the real deal? Somehow they managed to exhume Gareth Evans, and there was the oscillating fan at work, and the Oz editorialist and  other odds and sods - even a possum daring to poke a stick at BP - careful, reptiles, careful, that's trending green - but at the end of it all, the pond could see no sign of the Caterists ...

No Caterist column on a Tuesday! 

No mention of bien pensant!!??

What would the pond do for its required daily dose of bien pensantry, as urgent a need as dropping a couple of fish oil tablets each morning ...

No wonder the earth heaved, no wonder serpents strolled insolently across the earth. And not even a back-up conspiracy column from Maurice ...

It was a catastrophe, a deliberate plan by the reptiles to undermine the pond's business model.

Oh sure, the pond could always revert to reliable scribblers in other reptile rags ...

But the pond understands that has already had a significant impact, and a chastened Donald is seriously thinking about calling off his entire campaign. Thanks, little Timmeh, for making the world a little bit safer ...

And so it came to pass that the pond thought it might drop in and catch up with the latest adventures of Sharri ...

Mind you, any thought of going beyond 140 characters would have put the pond and Sharri under severe mental stress, so we did it the modern way ...

Yes, it seems that the chief stenographer is feeling the heat, and despite being the subject of a court action, feels no hesitation wittering and twittering away on the matter before the court ...

As for the substance of those texts, you only had to scroll down a little way to see "anti-Semitic", or if you will, "anti-semitic", being flung about in a wittering, twittering way with an abandon that might have been called gay in Noel Coward's time ...

Indeed, indeed. It got so desperate that the wittering, twittering Sharri had to re-tweet another tweeter:

Of course from there it was only a short hop and a jump to Richard Ackland ...

Sharri Law! Ace reporter Lois Lane! Why that's so much more fun than the pond chatting about the chief stenographer, and you can find more about Lois's adventures at Gadfly: Victims of Sharri Law.

There is a law, however, that says to every action there will be a dumb, inertial reaction, and so it came to pass ...

There's something unutterably, ineffably, infinitely sad about someone twittering and wittering that Miranda the Devine is brilliant ...

As for that question of dignity, Mr Rekers, didn't you notice the preposterous attempt to revive 1970s fashion in that hero photo? 

There's your answer right there, as that photo routinely sends the pond into a bout of shame as it remembers flares, ponchos, braces, berets, shoulder padding, triple denim, and other shocking fashion sights it might once have supported, or even worn ...

But credit where credit is due. Thanks to Sharri Law, the pond has avoided a bit of black bashing and garrulous Garth leading the pond back down the winding road to Cheryl and Gareth - the consuming passion, and as it's going to be hot and humid this day in Sydney, we'll dig out a useful oscillating fan, if it please the reptiles ...

And so, thanks be unto Sharri, who never calls anyone anti-Semitic, except when she calls them anti-semitic, or perhaps anti-Semitic, the pond reached the end of another Seinfeldian blog, and decided it was time for a Rowe, and as always, more excellent Rowe here ...

But all that did was remind the pond of how ancient it was, and the glory days when it had reflexes as well as a taste for double denim ...

Don't blame the pond, blame it on Sharri Law ...